Ditching The Dummy - HELP!

[anonnancy]

Ok. Here we go.

My 6 month old DS has had a dummy since around 3.5 months (when the 4 month sleep regression started ... argh!) as nothing (and I mean nothing) would settle him at night when he woke apart from sucking a dummy... well this has gradually gotten worse and now he needs it to fall asleep for his naps. He falls asleep at bedtime without it as he is knackered and has had an 8oz bottle, but he wakes for it in the night and obviously can’t find it or put it in himself yet, which means I have to go and do it for him. He still has x2 night feeds which I’m pretty certain he still needs as he drains both the bottles.

Anyway... what I’m trying to get at is, I don’t want this dummy thing to get any worse and feel like it is now or never to get rid. Do I go cold turkey? And if I do... how do I do it? How do I settle him without the dummy without creating another association with sleeping? I’ve tried giving him a comforter over the last 2 weeks since moving him into his cot and he doesn’t really care for it. I’ve also tried a muslin which again he isn’t bothered about. All he cares about is this bloody dummy.

If I go cold turkey, is it basically allowing him to CIO until he gets used to it? Not sure I like the idea of leaving him to cry.... but he is the type of baby that will just get more and more worked up if I keep going in to him to attempt to settle without the dummy....

What are your experiences with ditching the dummy?

Sorry for the long post - as you can probably tell I am really nervous and just looking for some advice / support!

Thanks x

You can teach baby to put their own dummy in at 7-8 months old.

You're being (very) short sighted imo

If you don't allow for sucking to sleep you'll either need movement (rocking to sleep?) Or shit-tons of crying and distress. Excuse my language.

If baby doesn’t have dummy or boob to suck or something else hey usually find their thumbs and that then leads to terrible teeth alignment and painful orthodontic treatment

@BabySleepTeacherUK how would I teach him? Is it just a case of Putting them in his hand and letting him try to do it? (Sorry, FTM here and totally clueless). I didn’t know if I could replace the dummy with a comforter, but so far he isn’t interested. Really not a fan of cold-turkey It sounds really stressful but I wasn’t sure what else to do... I’m so tired lol. Tbh he isn’t waking loads for it ATM, he wakes x2 a night for a feed and then maybe twice for the dummy... once around 10pm then once around 4am... so I end up going to bed at 10 after replacing the dummy, waking at 11:30/12:30 for the first feed, then waking at 3 for the second feed, and then up at 4 to do the dummy and then up for the day at 6.

I’m just worried he won’t be able to learn how to do it himself and I will be forever replugging the dummy.... and then if it gets more frequent too.... oh god....!

I recently ditched the dummy for my 6 month old. He was starting to learn how to put it back in but each time he woke without it would cry until he found it.

I commented on another thread about how I did this.

It involves teaching him to self settle but without leaving him to CIO (I was in the room comforting him). This has worked for us and two weeks later the dummy is a distant memory

Hope this might help?

5 month old baby naps please help www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/3957736-5-month-old-baby-naps-please-help

I was worried about letting my son have a dummy. In fact, I wasn’t going to give him one at all but the nurses in the NICU did it without asking me and since it seemed to be such a comfort to him I didn’t take it away. I kept saying we were going to get rid of it at 6 months, 9 months, 12 months. But we could never go through with it. Turns out I shouldn’t have worried. Aged 2 he bit a hole in it and we threw it in the bin. I couldn’t find the ones he liked in the shops during lockdown so he had to go without. And he was totally fine about it!

In a very short time, your baby will be able to put their own dummy back in, so you don’t have to worry about that for much longer. My daughter is 9 months and she has been doing this for a while already. Try not to worry! Every little issue seems like a big deal and every phase seems like it could last forever at the beginning but before you know it, it’s over and you can’t remember why you were so worried about nothing!

He's still very young op. You say you're worried you'll be doing it forever.. he's 6 months! Mine learned to put his in at 7 months, after a month or so of pulling it in and out by himself.

As others have said, it's dummy or breast, close contact or white noise. Very normal for a baby.

I took my baby's dummy away for night sleep (not naps) at 5 months for this reason. She learned to self settle at night without it but she had a muslin comforter and was quite shouty (not distressed crying - there is a difference). I gave it back at 9 months when I knew she could locate it. Now she goes to sleep quickly and quietly and always finds it herself.

I don't regret taking it away, as it did lead to her sleeping through, but I'm really happy now she has it back. If you take it away, be prepared for some protesting. I just used to sit by the cot offering reassurance.

@anonnancy
how would I teach him? Is it just a case of Putting them in his hand and letting him try to do it?

Some suggestions:

• hold dummy in front of baby, get him to reach out and take it from you. Wherever possible get baby to take the dummy actively rather than it just being given to him.
• once dummy is in baby's hand and let him put in mouth himself. So wherever possible, don't put it in baby's mouth for him.
• once he's mastered the above two, start handing dummy to baby the wrong way around, so that he grabs old of the teat in his fist. He then has to learn to turn the dummy over and around to put it in mouth the right way around.
• when doing floor time, place dummy in random places on floor. Sometimes in sight but out of reach (So he has to reach and roll to get it) sometimes out of sight (So he has to twist and turn positions to find it)

Have a Google of "sleepytot", or make something similar to buy. Its basically a cuddly toy with Velcro straps on legs that you attach a dummy to. It makes it easier for baby to find own dummy at night. It also forms a comforter bond so that when baby stops using the dummy you have an established comforter in place.

Tha j you for suggestions @BabySleepTeacherUK will give them a go. He does pull the dummy out quite a lot and pop it back in and then drops it and cries for me to put it back in. Will do some “dummy training” in the daytime. He only has it for bedtime and naps so it will be weird offering it in the day but If it helps him learn that’s fine by me!

I would feel super guilty taking it away as he loves it sooo much, I am just so knackered getting up multiple times in the night to “replug” Lol. But you’ve all reassured me it won’t last forever !

Thank you all !

Get the glow in the dark dummies, both my dd's have had no problems in the night with them and children give dummies up when they're a bit older anyway. They're a great soother for them while they're very small.

We ditched the dummy cold turkey....at just turned two years old. The dummy is a lifesaver with teething and is a lovely comfort for them for so many things. We had all the things you did, we just have a bad sleeper. Even now and she's 3!

I wouldn't be worried about ditching it yet, he's only 6 months old!

We went cold turkey with the dummy at nearly 6 months as DD was waking 6-10 times a night crying for it back. When I first took it away she cried for 30 minutes whilst I patted and soothed and after that she quickly forgot it ever existed. Put in her own room within the next couple of weeks with white noise and she has self settled and slept through the night ever since. Best decision we made and definitely not shit tonnes of crying and distress :)