How do we survive the 18mo sleep regression

[Livingoffcoffee]

DS has been sleeping brilliantly (since some CC at 11mo). But now he's refusing to fall asleep at bedtime and then waking early/middle of the night and will.not.go.back.to.sleep.

We've been up since 3am. Spent 1.5hr trying to get him back down. Now we're watching paw patrol on the sofa while I try to let DH at least get some sleep.

Surely he's going to be miserable and overtired at nursery today though (he's going to need a nap about when he gets there, at this rate??) and his sleep schedule will be all off.

Any tips on how to survive this? Is CC going to do anything at this stage? When we go in to try and settle him he just immediately puts his arms up to be picked up - so kinda think it would be more distressing to him to keep going in and not picking him up? Or do we just accept a lot of rocking to sleep / early mornings for a couple weeks?

That's the thing about sleep training, it can work (i.e. they might wake still but don't let you know about it because they don't think you'll come) until something happens like a regression and then you're back to square one.

We've never done sleep training with DD. She is a poor sleeper and it's hard, but for me it just isn't an option. Her sleep has better phases without us doing anything to prompt it and she'll get there one day, as will your DS. You could maybe try a slightly later bedtime, but might be that you just need to ride it out.

We've just gone through this with DD I think and took 2.5 months. I thought I was going to have a breakdown. The only thing that worked as putting her in the spare bed with me and then she went back to sleep ok until morning. We are now weaning her off it but after 2 nights of sleeping through I'm back in the spare bed with her. This is a marathon not a sprint so do what you need to so you all get some sleep.

@blackcat86 2.5 months?! I don't think I'd survive that! We tried bringing him into our bed as a short stint of cosleeping helped with his last regression - but he was just wide awake wanting to play. Feeling a bit guilty about him going to nursery today, but it's the only way DH or I can actually get any work done

I would send him to nursery. Presumably he can nap there if he's really tired. We had a few awful nights like that so I feel your pain but more often than not co-sleeping has worked. We've had to get creative with helping DD relax when she was struggling to get to sleep. I tried moshi stories which she wasnt in to but are worth a go- it's a sleepy stories app and I got the 7 day free trial. I also tried the baby sleep videos on YouTube and found a couple that she likes. It went against my instincts to let her watch my phone to sleep but it has definitely helped and I'm hoping in time we can transition to something healthier like moshi.

We've been up since 3am. Spent 1.5hr trying to get him back down.

What was happening during those 99 minutes?

In terms of nursery, he'll be fine. The nursery staff will help him catch up on his sleep.

Mine's exactly the same, although we still co sleep, he's just short of 18 months. It's taking 1.5-2 hours most nights for him to fall asleep, then once or twice a week he wakes in the middle of the night too wanting to play. I spoke to a friend who'd seen a sleep consultant and she advised to absolutely never take him out of bed and downstairs, as the habit will be quick to form and he'll wake up expecting that every time. So now if he wakes I keep the lights off, no talking and lay him back down every time he gets up. He can have a drink of water, or cuddles etc if he wants them, but that's it. He does eventually go back to asleep, but I'll admit at 6 weeks(ish) into this, it's showing no signs of getting better yet. For what it's worth, we always send him to nursery though and they don't let him nap any earlier than normal (ie after lunch) and he always manages fine 🤷🏼‍♀️

@BabySleepTeacherUK Attempting to rock/cuddle him back to sleep. A few times he'd fallen back asleep in our arms and we got him back in his cot - but then 10min later he was back up and screaming. If I tried just laying him back down and rubbing his back he would either crawl over to me and try to play through the bars or scream.

Its really unhealthy sleep hygiene to go to sleep in your arms then be put down asleep. Baby needs to (must) learn to go to sleep in the cot, not in your arms.

If you did CC before, will you do that again?

There are always regressions and so not unusual that sleep goes backwards for a while for all sorts of reasons. This will periodically happen through our the toddler years, so expect another 2 or 3 years of these occasional regressions.

I wouldn't do CC, personally. I would teach baby to lie down independently and to sleep with my reassurance. But if you've used CC before then that might be more suited to you?

What is do is teach independence of movement. Play instruction-following games during the day. Where's your nose, sit down, take to Daddy, bring me the ball, touch your toes, sit down, climb on the sofa. Luckily little toddlers are universally eager to show how clever they are understanding the instruction. Clap and smile every time. Be conscious of always encouraging independence of movement at every opportunity - don't pick baby up or do it for them if they can do it themself.

Then at bedtime, tap mattress and say lie down. Clap, smile, praise at instruction following just like daytime. Once instruction-following is established, just be a broken record and patient about keeping him lying down in the cot.