16 month old not going to sleep until 10/11pm

[IfItWerentForYouMeddlingKids]

Hi all. 16 month old DD is currently still wide awake! This has been going on for several weeks now. She just flatly refuses to go to sleep until gone 10pm most nights. Previously she would go to sleep at 7pm with no problem.

Now, if I try and put her to bed at 7pm she screams and cries until I pick her up again. Then she's running around and playing until 10/11pm when she finally will let me put her to bed. I try and make everything boring, lights low, no screens or anything loud ect, but she's still running around and giggling!

She has one nap in the day, normally lasting 1.5-2 hours. This nap has been happening later and later in the day (doesn't wake up until 2/3pm so I suspect this is the problem) but she just doesn't seem tired until 12/1pm!

Of course, she's still waking up at 6/7am even if she's not going to bed until 11pm Once she is asleep she doesn't wake, but it's just GETTING her to sleep that's the issue!

Thanks

Sounds like all the signs are pointing to overtired-ness

My DS naps 12:30-2:30 so I don’t think the nap is too late

I think she is just overtired which you’re possibly mistaking for excited ness

That's very possible, but as I say when I try and get her to sleep earlier she will scream and cry and writhe around until I pick her up again. As soon as I pick her up she's wide awake!

No advice on that front I’m afraid as when DS was 16 months I sat with him for 30 mins at bedtime after stories etc and held his hand until he fell asleep

You could be taking about my dd here.

I put her down early and it's a fight and she then wakes up again at 10pm for hours. I try her in bed at 7.30, if she kicks off we're back up and I'll try again at 8pm and increase every 30 minutes until she falls asleep.

Last night was 11pm, tonight was 8.30. Trying for 8.30 tomorrow night too.

@2155User I try that but my dd screams the house down to the point where she is sick.

My son was much easier as a baby, he was just happy you were next to him. My DD is v unreasonable 😂

No useful advice but I sympathise.
My first was like that. No way would she go to sleep any earlier than 10.30/11.00.
If we left her she would just sit awake or call out.
Being the bad parent I am I gave up and just played/ read to her until she was ready to sleep.
She started to go earlier when she started school and then it was around 9.00.
She will be 19 next month and has never gone to bed early.( In contrast my younger one would tell me around 7.30 it was time for bed and loved going to sleep early.)
Bizarrely it never affected the older one at school, she did really well and got A*, A, A, B in her A levels. Just think she doesn't need that much sleep.

Sounds overtired, not under-tired @IfItWerentForYouMeddlingKids

Moving the nap won't make a difference, anyone between 11am-3pm is fine and she definately needs it so don't drop it.

When she finally conks out at bedtime, how does she end up going to sleep? Also, what happens to get her to sleep at naptime?

You mention she used to go to bed at 7pm when did that start changing?

@BabySleepTeacherUK hi, she will sometimes go into her cot awake and fall asleep on her own, but most of the time she is still rocked to sleep. But recently she's started not liking that (constantly wriggles around ect) so I have tried just putting her down more, but most of the time she will scream and cry until I pick her up again.

It started changing about 3/4 weeks ago. Previously she would sleep 7-7 but now it's 10/11-6! She doesn't wake once she's asleep, but she just won't go to sleep until late now.

Last night she finally fell asleep at 11:30pm and woke up at 6am! Only seven hours sleep. Surely that's not enough.

Try putting her down for an early nap. My little one is a nightmare if it’s an afternoon nap, so I try to aim for 1.5-2 hours around 10.30/11am.

@IShineAShoe thank you! She actually went down for her nap at 10am today (clearly knackered from last night! 😂) so fingers crossed!

most of the time she is still rocked to sleep

This is the essence of your problem.

It has to stop and she needs to learn to go to sleep lying down in the cot.

That's going to involve a lot if crying and distress. Its not my preference to suggest leaving baby alone to cry, so I would stay with her co.forying through this. But nonetheless there will be a lot of crying involved (quite possibly yours as well as hers). So before you decide if you're going to solve this problem you need to ask yourself - do you have the strength and resilience you will need to do this right now?

If not, if you can't be calm and consistent to see this through, then my best advise is to not start. Instead find ways to cope with the situation as it is, rather than solving it. Because to make a half-ass attempt at sleep training when you're not ready to see it through will make everything worse.

co.forying = comforting

Thank you. As luck would have it she went to bed with no fuss at 8:30 tonight!

Was in the same boat and cut the nap to 1hour(plus 15mins sometimes) maximum.

Lots of exercise/active play during day too (if possible for you).

Sometimes they know things are more exciting than being in bed and don't want to miss out!