2 year old night waking and bedtime mess

[saywhatwhatnow]

I know there is similar thread but I didn't want to hijack!

DS is 2years 2months and has always woken between 5-6am. I can just about cope with this but now I'm he has started waking shouting and screeching (sometimes multiple times) in the night. I also have a breastfed 5month old who is up a few times a night so it's basically an all night rave at ours at the moment and I feel like I'm getting barely any sleep.

Ive brought nap and bedtime forward a bit to try and get him to catch up on sleep, and have followed some 'tips' I've read about.

His routine is
6am gro clock lights up and we get up
7am breakfast
10am snack
12pm lunch
12.30/1pm nap (1-1.5h) goes straight off with a story and kiss
Snack
5pm tea
6pm bath and stay upstairs
6.30 milk, story & teeth

6.45pm bed

He then throws his dummies out, screeches for 10mins, we go in and silently return them and then 70% of the time he goes off. It's like some weird routine we've got ourselves stuck in. Occasionally he will throw them again and we repeat. If we go in straight away he will keep throwing them out over and over so leaving him for a short time stops this. He's now started doing the same if he wakes in the night but we go in straight away when he does and he goes back off.

He wakes (and screeches) at 5/5.30am and does the same, but we go in and remind him to wait for his gro clock and usually then he plays until it lights up. However we're all awake as his shouting has woken everyone.

He's a 'loud' child, it's his go to reaction when he's not happy but it's driving me bonkers. He's not crying or really genuinely upset just shouting. How do I break this weird cycle?? HELP

Is he in a bed or a cot?

When he's refusing to go to sleep, does he stay lying down? if not what is he doing (standing, getting up etc)

Are you happy with a 7pm-6am night? I'd be inclined to shift that by an hour to be an 8pm-7am night.

What happens in these night wake ups? How do you get him back to sleep?

He's in a cot. Happily goes upto bed, appears to like the cot. Sometimes asks to go to bed.

He stands straight up and throws the dummies out and then stands and shouts us saying 'mummy/daddy there' pointing to the dummy.

If be happy with 7-6am (if that actually happened) as we're all quite early risers and I like having the evening with DH. If we ever do ending up putting him down later he still wakes at 5-6am so just looses more sleep. I've never tried it consistently over a couple of weeks though.

With the night wake ups we mostly go in hand him his dummies and he goes back off to sleep fine. Then a hour to two hours later he may do it again.

I'm not convinced giving the dummies up would solve it but maybe, I'm just a bit lost.

I definitely would not advise stopping using the dummies (dummies are AMAZING things) and neither would I suggest changing to a cot. The earliest I suggest a bed is after 3rd birthday, but it's often better for the child closer to 4th birthday.

I don't suppose he is in a sleeping bag is he?

If he is, a great life-hack is to sew a piece if ribbon onto the front of the sleeping back, just under the chin. Have a press-stud at the end, to attach a dummy to. You want the ribbon long enough to reach both ears, but no longer than this. This means dummy stays in his mouth when lying his head to the side, but not long enough to go behind his neck and be a strangulation risk.

This is great in many different ways:
(1) Stops dummy being thrown
(2) Means dummy is never lost in the cot
(3) Means he can find/replace his own dummy by feel only, without needing to open his eyes or wake up properly.
(4) Means that dummy can "live" on the sleeping bag only, so stops all dummy use outside of bedtime - which is exactly what you want in the toddler years.

If you dont use sleeping bags, you could do similar on all sets of pyjamas he uses. Another option is a dummy saver clip to clip on his nightwear. This is a bit lumpy though.

This would solve the dummy throwing. But I suspect that it wont directly solve all the problems. Sounds like he's throwing the dummy out to get your attention. So if it's not dummy throwing it will just be something else.

So while I would look at dummy ribbon ideas, also tackle the rest of his in-cot habits too.

So firstly, expect him to lie down for himself in the cot. Put him in standing up, tap the mattress and say "lie down". To assist this, play instruction following games during the day. Young toddlers are almost universally eager to show how clever they are, so keen to follow instructions. Play games like "wheres your nose/foot/fingers". Play Simon-Says type games (but without the Simon Says bit - the strategy of when Simon doesnt Say may be beyond him). So things like lie down, sit down, fetch the ball, take to Daddy. He should be able to do all these and more. Make a big fuss when he follows instruction - smile, praise, clap, cheer. Make him want to show how clever he is doing as you asked.

Then at bedtime, establish that he is put in the cot stood up and then lies down himself. This gives him independence and stops his relience on you to lie him down.

On from that, I'd stay within sight of him as he goes to sleep (and if he wakes in the night). Then as soon as you see him going for getting up, catch him before he gets up and tell him to lie back down. Basically it is a case that you cannot make him go to sleep, but you can insist that he must lie down in his cot at sleep time. THen eventually he'll get bored at not being allowed to do anything other thamn lying down, so go to sleep.

Thanks @BabySleepTeacherUK

We are away next week but as soon as we are home I will give that a go. How long would you recommend we do it for, and say it begins to work (fingers crossed) and he goes to sleep fairly quickly and without a fuss, how would we reduce the need for us stood in the room/by the door?