Baby won't sleep in Next to me crib

[t3al0v3r]

My DS is nearly 9 weeks old and we've struggled to get him to sleep peacefully in his next to me crib. He jumps out in his sleep while he's in there and wakes himself up. We've tried to swaddle him but he hates having his hands/arms constricted.
During the day if he naps and I'm not doing anything I place him on a pillow next to me on the sofa while he has a short nap.

Is the crib to hard for him? How can I get him to settle so I can get a decent night sleep?

I've been trying to get him into a nighttime routine but as my DH works nightshift four nights a week it's difficult to get DS to bed at a decent time and for him to actually sleep 🤯🤯

I slept on the sheets so they smelt like me which helped when she refused to sleep in there. And she was always flinching when I put her down so started using a warm hot water bottle to warm up the sheet (only slightly) before lowering her down. Did take a few days for her to settle

We’ve just got a babymoov cosydream and a rockit for DD. Alongside some white noise on my iPad she sleeps really well now.

He jumps out in his sleep while he's in there and wakes himself up. We've tried to swaddle him but he hates having his hands/arms constricted.

This startle reflex is present in all babies, it lessens by around 3-4 months. The way to help baby through it is a swaddle, this is exactly what swaddles are for (alongside recreating the tight conditions of the womb).

When you say baby "hates" arms bring restricted, what do you mean exactly? Because baby has no concept of hate or preference. Baby just has needs, all of which baby cannot understand or rationalise.

If baby is crying or thrashing against a swaddle, it is more likely the swaddle would help baby, not less likely. Baby cannot explain their frustration to you, but the thrashing around is a self-soothing mechanism, a way of baby saying "Get me to sleep right now, I'm exhausted!". Baby needs help to calm their thrashing.

So, I'd re-try a swaddle. Its almost an essential piece of kit for the Fourth Trimester phase (first 14 weeks). The only babies who don't benefit from a swaddle are those who sleep easily so don't need the help to sleep. Any newborn who doesn't sleep easily would sleep better in a swaddle.

Another essential bit of kit us a dummy. Sucking is a natural way for baby to calm and sooth.

No advice really as our Next to Me became an expensive changing unit, but my DD settled a lot better when actually in the same bed and next to me.

If you BF/don't smoke/follow bed sharing guidelines this can be a gamechanger.

Have a look at love to dream swaddles. They keep baby’s arms up in the air but stop them startling still

My daughter never agreed with swaddles. I found putting something that smelled like me under her, and holding her hand/putting my hand on her tummy helped in the newborn days x

We have a love to dream swaddle for our 9 week old and she now will sleep about 5 hours stretches in her next to me!

The lullaby trust have recommendations for swaddling safely if you choose to use one: www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/swaddling-slings/ x

Agree re swaddle! DS3 wouldn't let me swaddle him so I used to feed him to sleep with the swaddle ready and then wrap him up once he dropped off. Then he'd sleep for ages! The no swaddle guidelines are because babies can overheat but if you use a large muslin they're really thin.