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Please help me get my 4 month of to sleep!

6 replies

Carbis · 03/07/2020 00:09

Another one about the 4 month regression, I’m afraid... (I hope this is the regression and not just the way life is now!)

My 17 week old now won’t sleep unless I feed him to sleep (not really feeding, just comfort sucking) and then I hold him until he is properly asleep before putting him in the next to me.

How can I change this or do I have to ride it out until the regression ends?

It wasn’t always this way. He has never been the best sleeper, he never got past the 3 hourly waking. It didn’t occur to me that this was a problem until he was 3 months old. I started doing the Pantley pull off and getting him slightly awake before putting him down. He started stretching his first sleep of the night to 4 or even 5 hours.

Over the last few weeks, things have got gradually worse and now he is waking around every 90 mins, won’t settle until I feed him. Even if he is slightly asleep when he goes into his crib, he wakes and we have to go through the whole saga again. I’m knackered already, not to mention sore. I think the chances are, we are only just getting to the worst bit of the regression so I could have another month or more to go!

This seems to have coincided with total failure to achieve the late afternoon nap on a daily basis.

My partner is ill at the moment (we think food poisoning but he is staying in the spare bedroom to be sure he doesn’t pass anything on to us). Once he is better, we are thinking of getting him to do bedtime with a bottle and settling him away from the boob. I don’t even know if that will work but we might as well try.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Carbis · 03/07/2020 00:10

Sorry, title should say ‘off to sleep’. I’m so tired 😔

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Fatted · 03/07/2020 00:19

If he's comfort sucking, have you tried a dummy?

Carbis · 03/07/2020 00:25

I’ve tried a few different types but he won’t take a dummy. I probably left it too late as only tried in the last couple of weeks.

It wasn’t even so bad when I could just give him a quick feed and pop him back down but now he takes ages to settle and then wants to sleep on me too.

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BabySleepTeacherUK · 03/07/2020 09:38

You could take the slow, gentle path with feeding to sleep at bedtime and night time (like the pantley pull off you mention) and focus on daytime naps for non-teaching to sleep. That then teaches a non-sucking settling method, but without overly affecting your nights sleep.

You need to replace feeding with other active help to get to sleep. Its unrealistic to think otherwise. Movement is the second most effective, after sucking.

If you want to encourage independent sleep then move the sleeping surface, rather than the baby iyswim. For example having daytime naps in the pram that you push back and forth is teaching baby to go to sleep independently, but with help. Whereas getting that movement help to sleep in your arms (rocking to sleep) is not teaching independent sleep because baby goes to sleep on you.

BabySleepTeacherUK · 03/07/2020 09:40

Correction: ...and focus on daytime naps for teaching non-feeding to sleep.

Carbis · 03/07/2020 10:02

That makes lots of sense, thank you. He absolutely hates the pram and I hate using it because if we are out, it’s really hard to comfort him. I’ve tried using it in the house which feels a bit more gentle because I can respond more easily if he gets really upset. I will persevere! We’ve also got a Moses basket on a rocker. He is getting a bit big for it but maybe it will help for the next couple of weeks.

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