One year old won’t nap

[Tiredmumin2020]

Hi all

Another nap thread sorry! But I am really really struggling with my little girls naps. Shes almost one but has always been a nightmare when comes to napping during the day to be honest.

At night she’s not too bad. We do bath, book, bottle and bed routine and she started sleeping through most nights at about 10 months. Some nights she’ll maybe wake once but generally not too bad.

Day time naps are a whole other story though. She would never ever nap in the pram or Moses basket as a tiny baby, so her daytime naps have been in her cot upstairs. Blackout blinds, white noise, sleeping bag etc. But no matter what time I try and put her down, no matter how long she’s been awake, whether I put her down when she doesn’t seem tired or wait until she’s rubbing her eyes and cranky, whether she’s just been fed, had milk, literally no matter what, it takes forever to get her to sleep. She hates being held so we’ve never been able to rock or pat her to sleep. She’s always fallen asleep on her own when she eventually does.

Today as an example, she woke up at 7.30am. Put her down at 9.30, she had been getting tired and cranky from about 9 so she had some milk and then I changed her and put her down. It took until 10.30am for her to sleep. She then only slept for 25 minutes and wouldn’t be settled back again. Then she was tired and cranky the whole time she was up so after lunch I put her up again about 1pm as she seemed knackered. It was 3pm!! before she finally fell asleep, then woke at 3.35pm crying and again couldn’t be settled back down, so she’s up now while I’m making her dinner but she’s very cranky.

Since she started crawling about a month ago she now sits up and crawls around the cot when I put her down. She then gets worked up as she can’t get comfy. She’s only fallen asleep on her front a couple of times. So I go in and lie her back down again but I could do this literally 30 times an hour if I did it every time she sat up. This is just another issue to it all though as she never napped well even before this.

I really want her to nap and she clearly needs them. She spends her days tired and cranky and I am so exhausted spending the day trying to get her to sleep. I get nothing done, don’t get time to eat or even just have fun with her because then when she gets up I have to make her food etc so she’s put in the high chair or walker a lot. I don’t see when I’m ever even meant to leave the house with her it’s a nightmare. I’m going back to work and uni soon and time to eat and get ready for work etc would be great. Like even a full hour would be great.

Anyone got any advice, I’m really at my wits end.

Thanks x

It's hazy but I think DD dropped down to one nap at about 1yo.

Other than that I can't help, she was always bf to sleep (except at nursery, where they used magic), and once she was mobile I had to sort of hold her still to get the to sleep!

I wouldn’t mind if she only wanted one nap a day. If it was consistent and for about an hour or so that would be great compared to now. But I’ve no idea how I could get her to 12.30/1pm as she gets so cranky about 2 hours after she wakes up.

I feel like I’m letting her down so badly as I can’t seem to figure this out!

I feel you, this is shit. I had the same with my son.

I agree try 1 nap. People will say oh babies need more sleep, but some babies are incredibly stubborn and will only nap when exhausted. What about trying around 11/1130?

It's so hard because there is something so disheartening and miserable about putting a tired baby down for a rest and they just won't do it. Then they're an arse for the rest of the day. And like you say, no time for yourself, when all the other mummies seem to be "sitting down with a cuppa" after a spot of housework, eating lunch etc.

Sometimes there is an element of training needed for the nap. We had to do this with my first. Do you have a routine for naps?

Oh, cross post.

You're not letting her down, she's just a sleep refuser. Don't feel bad. My second actually goes to sleep when she's tired!! Still can't believe it.

Like I say, maybe try earlier than 1...

Although she's cranky, she's obviously not tired enough for a nap at 9.30. If she's cranky, distract her, do something else, take her out. Push her through until closer to mid day. I remember that age was difficult with mine because I never knew whether to do lunch or nap around midday!

My eldest was a crap napper, only did 30mins at a time and my youngest gave up naps completely at 18 months. I just got used to doing my stuff with them there. Eat when they eat. Get up at 6am to get ready if she's usually up at 7am. Have you got a play pen or travel cot to put her in while you get ready or need to get stuff done?

Thanks for the replies, really appreciate them.

I do have a playpen which she’s happy as Larry in when she’s not tired but if she is, which is a lot, she just sits and screams/throws herself about. But when I go back to work (to clarify I’ll be working nights, so I leave when hubby gets home at 5.30pm) she’s just going to have to sit and be unhappy for a bit if that’s what it takes. I have to get ready for work/eat/make her meals/housework/uni work all around her soon.

It really is soul destroying when a tired baby won’t sleep and you feel like you’ve tried every trick in the book. All the other mums I know either lie or have amazing sleepers in comparison, makes me feel like a massive failure.

I do think taking her out in the morning to stretch to lunchtime would help it’s just difficult at the moment, it’s raining constantly and obviously no soft plays or baby groups are running. Fingers crossed they start again soon!

I’ll try 1 nap tomorrow. Maybe do lunch around 11.15-11.30 and aim to be putting her down about 12?

It's so difficult. Like you say it's raining and there's nothing to do, you probably feel a bit low...So a whingey, tired baby who needs constant "managing" gets very grating indeed. That hour away from them when they nap is so refreshing and if you don't get it...well.

Good luck, I'm ironically having the same problem and wonder if my daughter is trying to drop a nap too as she's been refusing to sleep and whingey all afternoon as well. We have been self isolating as awaiting swab results and yesterday afternoon I almost lost my mind!

Ohh @1Bobbinwinder I really hope your test came back ok and you’re all feeling ok. It’s such a worrying time isn’t it. Even if classes started again, I don’t know how I’ll feel about going to be honest.

I tried again today with the two naps. She had about half an hour this morning and an hour in the afternoon (she did wake after half an hour but thankfully went back to sleep). It took about 45 minutes each time though to get her to sleep but it’s definite improvement! Will keep persevering with this routine I think and hope it works.