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16mo old boy. Sleep issues.

2 replies

ChrisK35 · 24/06/2020 21:13

Hello, I'm the dad of our little boy who is 16mo old and has never had a full night's sleep and has almost always been in our bed.

We tried him in the cot which was in our room for the first couple months after being born but didn't really take to it at all. He is breastfed and still takes the boob from mum now. So he was co sleeping with us till a couple months ago when we decided to ditch the cot and tried him with a single bed also in our room. We have a nearly 6yr old daughter who has her own room and decided wasn't fair on her sharing and being woke up since just recently started school and we are saving hard for a bigger house so they can both have their own rooms and space.

His bedtime routine would be bathroom brush his teeth then through into bed where he would be breast fed and mum would lie down with him till he falls asleep. He went into the single bed quite fine for first week would wake a few times during the night like he always does but settle fairly quickly again with mum near.

He eats fairly well at tea time and has supper before bed but still needs the comfort from mum which is where I think we have an issue. I haven't been able put him to bed with mum being in the same building in a longtime(not from lack of trying) managed no problem when was much younger and mum was away but I don't get a look in just screams blue murder if I even dare try now.

He has never slept a full night wakes 4+ times a night and it's all on mum to settle him again, I have also tried multiple times but doesn't want me at all and it's a little frustrating for all of us. He has never taken to a dummy and has no comfort blanket/Teddy.

Last week or so he has fought his nap times previously he would sleep maybe an hour on his own bed or if we are out walking in buggy but would sleep 2hours if was in mums arms no worries.

Mum is struggling as i work alot and my shifts are very much all over the place I'm not always here sometimes with way things work I'll get home late at night and be up 5am next day so don't see anyone for 2days till following evening.

I personally think mum is the comforter and needs to stop being breastfed and get into more of a routine possible sleep training but we have no idea where to start.

Our daughter is so good and understanding and sleeps no worries but does wake early mostdays 7am on the dot.

Sorry for the very long and probably jumbled all over the place rant but any help or words of encouragement will be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
starfish18 · 24/06/2020 21:26

Hiya it sounds to me like u said he needs his mom as comfort and being breast fed acts like comfort to him...I would try changing things slowly like maybe get him used to napping in his cot during the day...can mom pump and move onto giving him a bottle as he maybe falling asleep on the boob and not being full enough and he may sleep longer...I no u said about dummies but have u tried a different make like MAM as this may help comfort him rather than needing mom...our little boy has self settled for months with his dummy during the night...Our little boy has always been fed to sleep with a bottle but he started to not want to be held and wanted to go in his cot so I started with sitting in his room and holding his hand then moved onto no holding hands and then moved onto sitting by his door then now he's self settling to sleep on his own with me not in the room...a fab instagram page to help with sleep etc is care it out sleep consultant she's amazing xx

BabySleepTeacherUK · 24/06/2020 22:06

The first thing to consider is does Mum want to night wean? Because the approach you take and the time it takes will be very different if she night weans, or not. And as I'm sure you realise, deciding to stop comfort feeding your baby when you are his only form of comfort is a big, big decision for a mother. It will physically affect her hormonally, as well as emotionally, to refuse baby a comfort feed when it's wanted.

So a very frank conversation needs to be had here.

Going from such a degree of attachment parenting to independent sleep will be very, VERY brutal, unless you do it very gradually (over the course of a year or so). I cannot overstate enough how hard it will be. Your wife needs the emotional resilience to cope, and you need to be able to give total support to do all the night wake ups, if you are to try this.

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