18 month sleep/bed resistance

[IB1988]

My 18 month old daughter has always been pretty good at going to sleep. Apart from small regressions, teething, illness she has usually gone down into her cot without much fuss or resistance.

For the past 7 days and nights, she has screamed continually when we put her down for either her lunch time nap or her bed time. We've tried various methods (Ferber, controlled crying, staying with her in the room, cuddling, reading a book etc etc). I've tried altering the sleep times and sometimes giving her less or more sleep. It seems like it's a case of separation anxiety but I feel like I've tried everything.

At lunch time, we've resorted to putting her in our bed and she eventually drops off next to me. In the evening my husband and I spend about 1 - 2 hours going in and out the room in various ways until she eventually drops off.

Before now, she would sleep approx 12.30pm-2.30pm and 6.45pm - 6.30am.

Would love any thoughts or advice please!

There’s apparently a sleep regression around 18 months, from what I’ve read it lasts a few weeks.

I’m just waiting, DS is nearly 17 months...

My youngest has never slept a single night through or gone in a cot so I have no idea what you would do
I gave up as even the three hours meagre sleep he lets me get whilst pinned to the edge of a king size bed is better than the week where I tried to get him to sleep somewhere else and was up and down and average of twenty five times four nights running before enough was enough

Could be a growth spurt
Might be the hot weather
Have you changed anything in the routine?
Has she got a temperature or anything?

Sometimes there is now explanation at all and we have to accept that and have to ride it out

Also she might not need a nap for two hours anymore? None of my three were nappers. Sadly

Is she able to totter or walk much?
She might need more exercise to tire her out?
Is she hungry?

Just thoughts ......

It sounds like you've done a bit of a scattergun approach with lots of different methods.

It's better to be consistent, pick one method and see it through. I'd be focused primarily on baby going to sleep in the cot, otherwise you create lots of other problems.

Focus on her independence too. For example put her in the cot standing up, tap the mattress and expect her to lie herself down. Don't you be the one to lie her down. Similarly, put her dummy and/or comforter (if she has one) on the cot mattress so that she picks it up and uses it all herself, rather than you doing it.

As to how you get her to go to sleep. As long as you are consistent then whichever method suits your parenting style would work.

I would stay in the room, but no judgment from me if you think your DD would settle better without you in the room at this age.

Keep a consistent set of expectations going. A repeated mantra helps for this, setting out exactly what you expect of her. For example "It's sleepy time. Lie down quietly. Nan night". That tells her that
(a) she must lie down, anything apart from lying down is not what you want and you will keep repeating this until she is lying down
(b) you are expecting her to be quiet and will keep repeating this until she is
(c) That it's sleep time now, and that this is not negotiable and you will continue until she's asleep.

Keep your tone kind and compassionate. Don't make threats or be cross at her. Just have the time available and be willing to see it through until she gets that you have a set of expectations and will be very firm in applying those expectations.

Thank you all for really great feedback and advise! Will persevere!