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Sleep

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Original poster

18 month night time waking

16 replies

larlylou · 12/10/2004 20:44

I am hoping someone will be able to give me some suitable advice on what to do. My ds is 18 months old, usually a good sleeper, settling well at 7pm and waking around 7am. Recently he has started to wake anytime between 12am and 5am and occasionally he will cry briefly and put himself back to sleep. More often though he wakes and cries and cries, I leave him for a while to see if he will settle but to no avail so I go to him, no lights on, talk briefly and gently to lie down and go to sleep, sometimes he does this and I'll rub his back but generally he will just cry with his arms up. I try very hard not to pick him up as if I do he will snuggle in and go to sleep on me then scream if I try and get back into his cot. Sometimes this can go on for about 3 to 4 hours (during this time he will settle for a short period then start off again). If I leave the room he gets really upset by this and so I end up either sleeping on the floor next to him or picking him up when he is exhausted and cuddling him until he is relaxed enough to not worry about being put back in his cot. Help, what am I doing wrong..should I leave him to cry it out? Has anyone had any experience with this? It's beginning to make me feel exhausted during the day and short tempered, and ds isn't coping as well with the lack of sleep then doesn't nap as well and is becoming a vicious cirle. Any suggestions would be hugely appreciated and I am sorry this is so long and waffleeeyyy.

OP posts:

joanneg · 12/10/2004 21:03

Hi. My ds is like this when he is teething. Do you think that this could be why?

He is now 2 and just getting his back teeth so has started night waking like you describe. I think I can tell when it is teething now because the cry is more piercing and not like a moan.

What naps does he have?

yingers74 · 12/10/2004 21:09

larlylou,

Hello this sounds exactly like what happened to me and my dd a month ago, I even started a thread for help. Like you dd suddenly started to wake up at night after being a very good sleeper, I don't really know why, it could have been because she started nursery for a day a week or because of teething or .........?

Anyway, after getting no sleep for two weeks and spending most nights on her floor with her at my feet. I decided to do controlled crying. It was not nice but i was desperate. However, the results were good, after 4 nights she returned to her normal sleep pattern, 7.30 to 7.30. We have not had any sleepless nights since. If you do this, you need to be prepared not to sleep and listen to some serious crying.

Good luck, let me know how it goes

yingers74 · 12/10/2004 21:10

oh forgot to say, she was also 18 months

Original poster

larlylou · 12/10/2004 21:23

thanks for the replies. I suspect my ds could be teething and at times he has done this type of crying when he has been ill in the past which is why I tend to go to him as I always think there is a purpose to it. I give him calgel, chamomilla and in a worst case scenario after quite a lot of crying, calpol just incase he isn't feeling well. I check for everything that it could be (cold, hot, dirty nappy) but I always come back to the same conclusion and that is that he just wants company and cuddles (but why some nights and not others?). DS naps usually at 12-12.30pm until approx 2.30pm. He normally sleeps through the night on this length of naptime although I do think that in the last two days his naps have become a little shorter due probably to overtiredness. I don't know whether I should just ride the wave and hope that it is his teeth and he will get back to his good sleep routine. I don't want to have to resort to controlled crying until I really have to although, I do leave him to cry for some length of time until I go back into him (and sometimes I think that makes it worse too as it is just prolonging it)....oh lordy, such decisions to make and I'm not good at thinking at 2am! Really appreciate your help, thanks

OP posts:

joanneg · 12/10/2004 21:29

larlylou

Well, it does sound like teething. The thing is one day he will probably sleep through and then you are back to normal! This is what happens with myds. I get all stressed and worried about his night waking (and tired) and then it is back to normal.

I think that you are doing the right things to be honest. You are checking that physicalll he is ok, and giving him calpol if needed and teething gel. (have you tried teething granuals btw)

I personally wont do controlled crying if I think that ds is teething and that it will pass. Mainly because I have had my wisdom teeth coming through and know that pain of teething!! So I will do as you do, cuddle him, put him down to sleep, even sleep on his floor.

Do you have much support at home? somebody to share the burden at nights or take ds off so you can get some sleep during the day?

yingers74 · 12/10/2004 21:54

Larlylou,

It is hard. I have my fingers crossed that your ds sleep goes back to normal soon. I would not wish cc on anyone as it does break your heart having to listen to them cry. But if you do have to do it, read Richard ferber's book.

sleep well tonight!

Original poster

larlylou · 12/10/2004 21:58

Thanks for your support joanneg. I will just carry on as is and see what happens I think. I do give him camomilla granules also (although I never know which one is more effective but if both work in small ways then great). Support from dh is there when needed (although he does have the 'tone deaf' problem in teh midst of the night and awakes thinking things are all rosy ... little did he know...how do they manage to sleep through it all....that's another thread I think). Sleeping on the floor is the easiest solution as we all get some sleep and as long as he knows I'm there it seems to calm the situation. Fingers crossed he will switch back to his good sleeping behaviour ...tonight would be good, fingers crossed.

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Original poster

larlylou · 12/10/2004 22:01

thanks yingers74. I will certainly try for a good nights sleep and hopefully ds is so tired from being overtired that it will keep him sleeping all night long. I am going to see how it goes for a couple more nights then, if nothing has changed and he isn't showing much sign of teething I will then start cc as I reckon it could then be habit that he has slipped into.

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joanneg · 12/10/2004 22:08

I am sure he will switch to a better sleep pattern soon. If he doesnt, and you think that it becomes a sleep issue not related to his teeth, COme back and ask for other suggestions (such as controlled crying) that will help get him back into a routine.

I know what you mean about dh sleeping through! I kick my dh to wake him up!! I like my sleep!

Try and think of ways to make yourself comfy if you are on the floor (blow up bed, quilts or something)> I will keep fingers crossed for tonight - let us know how he is.

By the way - My ds had the same sleeping pattern as you and then one day he started sleeping in until 8am and not waking during the night(apart from teething periods) so there is light at the end of th tunnel!

Original poster

larlylou · 12/10/2004 22:17

I have a couple of cosy duvets that I use as a base with a rather indulgent sheepskin rug too so I'm actually quite comfortable on the floor (it would certainly become main priority if I wasn't!)

My kick is getting quite good too...much harder and with more meaning from my right leg....

I will let you know how he gets on tonight. It is reassuring to hear that your ds went through similar sleep patterns and now sleeps until 8am...that would be a luxury.. I think that has only happened twice in his little 18 month life (and on both occasions it happened to be on mornings when we stupidly relied on him to be our 7am alarm clock!). Thanks for your advice and I'll let you know how it went.

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Original poster

larlylou · 12/10/2004 22:20

Oh yikes...10.20pm and he is crying. Go to sleep, go to sleep!

I shall leave him for a while to see if he settles but his crying is certainly getting stronger as seconds tick on...

Ooooh, silence...just a blip I hope.

Suppose I ought to go to bed just incase it all kicks off. I'll be rather cross with myself for wasting valuable sleep time. Will post tomorrow.

Still silence...phew

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Original poster

larlylou · 13/10/2004 20:51

It went well. He whimpered a couple times a little after 11pm but slept through and woke up at 6am. Fingers crossed he does another full nights sleep as he sure needs it.

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yingers74 · 13/10/2004 22:04

I am so happy for you. good luck for tonight.

joanneg · 14/10/2004 10:48

Hello

How are you getting on? Do you have matchsticks holding open your eyes!!??
Jo

Original poster

larlylou · 16/10/2004 19:49

The previous night was a nightmare, mainly because of dh atrocious attempts at trying to sooth ds but instead it went rather pear shaped by not putting water bottle lid on properly so soaking ds and cot, talking to ds too much with bright light on...big no no! So, I ended up on the futon and didn't even make it to work in time next morning so last night I went to a friends for the night to leave the boys to fend for themselves and you know what..not a bloody peep. Tonight I'm home alone so I am hoping that ds does the same for me....here's hoping! He has slowly caught up on his sleep and is napping in the day much better so I am hoping that if he is still teething he will be able to cope with it all a bit better by being more rested. Thanks for your support, really appreciated.

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joanneg · 20/10/2004 09:05

larlylou - how is it going? Dont you worry - you will get there and there will be a time when your ds will fall asleep. My ds was a nightmare when he was that age. He is 2 now. Yesterday he actually came up to me and said "mummy, Im still tired can I go to sleep!!". So it does happen.
I would make sure that your dh follows your routine so that your ds knows what his sleep cues are (if you see what I mean). Hope that it is ok and your are not too tired. x

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