I never intended to cosleep

[TassieMum87]

Hi Everyone

My beautiful boy is now 11 weeks. He was born full term via emergency c-section. He’s a small Bub with low weight gain and diagnosed with silent reflux. From the get go he was very colicky, crying for extended periods. The only way I could get him to sleep was on me. For weeks he slept on my chest and refused to go into his bassinet. He would cry until purple if I tried - it was horrendous. Now he bed shares with me (hubby was happy to sleep in spare room and we practice bed sharing as safely as we possibly can). During the day he’ll sleep in my arms, the ergo, pram or car seat ... but still refuses the bassinet.
I’ve tried gentle measures to try and get him into him bassinet but it always ends in tears and him being wide away and desperate.

Is he too young to be attempting ‘sleep training’?
What measures have people tried to get their bubs into a bassinet?

I love sleeping with him, but for his own comfort and safety I would prefer him in his bassinet.

I think he is too young for sleep training! Others will disagree though. Have you read about the 4th trimester? Do you have a sidecot for your bed, baby might settle better in one of those, although my DD didn't and we bed shared for at least part of the night until 12 months.

Also, I had a next to me which could be set at an angle to help with reflux

I wouldn’t sleep train so young (and I swear by sleep training as a method).
Have you tried layer an item of your clothes in the basket so it smells of you.
I would just keep using the basket, through the day naps too, or let him fall asleep on you then transfer over. My LO hated her basket, her bouncer at first but then after a while and some tears got used to it.

If co-sleeping is working for you and your partner and you are doing it safely then carry on and cross this bridge when you want/need to.

Thank you for your reply! Yep we have a cosleeper bed ... still no luck atm with that either!

You could try daytime naps in a bouncy chair, the rhythmic bouncing helps baby settle to sleep independently of you.

A dummy may also help independent sleep. Are you using a dummy? They are also NHS recommended for reflux.

We had similar issues with DS1. He slept fairly well in the Sleepyhead placed inside the slightly tilted next to me. I don't think they are recommended for night sleeping but I felt it was safer than co sleeping (which he didn't really like anyway-he wanted to be upright on me, not flat on the mattress).

I would say, if it's working for you and your getting sleep, then carry on. I am a massive believer in doing what you need to to get through. If you are all happy don't worry. My boys were the same and I spent hours worrying that I had broken their sleep but it was working. They are now 11 and 8 and I can safely say they are happily sleeping in their own beds (it happened many years ago too.)

It got to the point when it wasn't working and so we did some gentle sleep training, which worked a treat. I know others will disagree and that's fine. Different strokes for different folks. Just remember the golden rule if someone is telling you helpful advice, which doesn't work for you...nod and smile

And as a pp mentioned we started nap time in a bouncer to wean him off being held, he had a dummy for all sleeps, and was on medication for silent reflux. All which in turn helped his night time sleep.

How about one of those cot beds you attach to the side of your bed so they are close but not in your bed?

I would add, we followed all the safety advice on co sleeping. I wore more clothes and only covered my legs with the duvet. DS had his own blanket and I subconsciously checked on his temp all night. I slept on my left with a side bed to stop him falling out and loads of space between us. I didn't have a pillow on his side of the bed. I actually missed them when they moved out 😂

11 weeks is so tiny. Mine was still in bed next to me at that age; she was also a screamer. We had a sidecar thing, not the full-sized cot but a Snuzpod so cosier, and meant when she started to roll she was safe and would end up in there. Eventually she made it in there, it just took time. Then we sidecarred a cot. Now she sleeps in her own room in her own cot, with 1-2 night wakings unless teething/ill/naps have gone horribly wrong.

This stage does pass, you don't need to do much. Wear warm clothes and push the duvet down. When they're bigger they can go in the middle between you and your DH.

And just to say, try the bouncer but it doesn't work for every baby, mine wouldn't fall asleep in it for a single second, any more than they would fall asleep on a crocodile or at an AC/DC concert. Babies are all different. Try a wrap sling for naps. This too shall pass.