When / how to get a routine for baby with a toddler

[Herby48]

Sorry in advance for the long post - so I have a toddler who is 2 years and 8 months old, I now have a 6 week old. With my first, I never did any sort of sleep training, he only would ever want to sleep on someone, I BF until 18 months and co slept (he still sleeps in our bed now, but slowly trying to get him into his room). I fed to sleep most times and naps were often in carrier/car/pram, and rarely in cot. I don't regret how I was, I feel we have a strong bond, he sleeps well now and is a very happy boy. But I do believe that we did make a 'rod for our own back' in some ways. I would try to embrace it and tell myself the clingy ness was just a phase, but it never ended and I never really tried with any sort of gentle sleep training. In hindsight I wish I did, just ways to teach him to self soothe etc. Now with my new born daughter I'm just struggling to work out how or when to try and get some sort of routine. Obviously with a toddler I can't just embrace all the naps on me and sitting on the sofa as he needs me. I really want to be able to put her down eventually. What sort of age is best to start this? And how? In the last week or so she has got more fussy with being put down and will only sleep in sling or pram. I just feel like I could easily form bad habits for her, as much as I would love to have her on me all the time it's just not practical. I don't have much time to constantly be trying to get her down because I am on my own a lot with the two of them. But I don't want to miss the perfect age to at least try and get to go down more. I know every baby is different and she's already easier in some ways than my first but I am just worried about the future. Any tips for getting a routine for a baby when you have a demanding toddler and not much time??

No advice but following with interest! I have a 2.5 year old and a 7 week old . 7 week old is getting increasingly fussy with daytime sleep . Mornings are ok as we always go for a walk so she can sleep
In pram but I struggle with lunchtime and late afternoon! Like you say it's tricky to let them sleep on you when you have a toddler!

@Herby48 The routine for this kind of age is more of a cycle, rather than anything by the clock.

If you want to encourage independent sleep, now is a good age to get baby going to sleep where they stay asleep. This is more easily done in something that moves so that you can "rock" baby in that, rather than in your arms.

Speaking as a mum of 4 (and with only 14 months between my eldest two), I would recommend naps for baby in a bouncy chair. It means you can put baby in there after their awake window, then sit on the sofa playing with your toddler while bouncing baby with your foot.

Naps in a pram work in a similar way, but are not hands-free since you'll have to push the pram back and forth so that makes occupying your toddler more difficult.

If going for naps in something static, you'll need a lot of extra reassurance tactics to get good sleep. I'd recommend a tight swaddle and dummy to help baby settle. You may also need to do some patting and shushing, so again not as hands-free and toddler-sibling-friendly as a bouncy chair.

A dummy will make all of these independent sleep methods easier. And without any crying. Dummies are ACE for independent sleep.

Your "routine" wants to be repeating cycles, according to a predictable awake time window. In this under 12 week old age your awake time window wants to be 30-60 minutes maximum:

Wake (mentally note the time and work out when awake window will end) > Feed > Awake time on floor having a kick around > At awake window or before if any crying or clinginess starts > top up feed if needed > Into bouncer and relentlessly bounce at even tempo until asleep > Wake.... repeat over and over again.