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What do you do in the evening with an older cosleeping baby? Cosleepers / floor bed users this way please!

2 replies

FightMilkTM · 10/06/2020 10:24

10 month old has always refused the cot, she slept happily in a next to me from birth but we never had any luck with an actual cot.
Co-slept from around 7 months when she outgrew the next to me and we gave up on the actual cot.
She’s a terrible sleeper anyway but cosleeping (usually me and baby in ‘big bed’ and husband in spare bed) leads to the most sleep for the household. The main issues with this are

  1. we have to watch her like a hawk on the camera between her bedtime and ours that she doesn’t fall out of (or otherwise escape) the big bed. We have toddler guards so she can’t roll out in her sleep but she could easily get out of the bed. We are teaching her to dismount ‘safely’ but she’s not going to do it in the dark, half asleep!
  2. I have to creep around getting ready for bed and either wake her up or she wakes within 40 minutes of me going to bed for a feed so I end up waiting for her to wake. Meaning I don’t go to sleep until gone 11. Like I say, she’s a terrible sleeper so I’d like to be asleep before 11 Blush

We have tried putting a mattress on the floor of (what should be) her nursery so that she can be safely left to sleep in the evenings. It’s not working all that well as she doesn’t want to go to or stay asleep, I think she loves having a room that is totally baby proofed which she can gambol about in without being ‘told off’. I’m unsure whether I should be letting her play in there during the day so that she likes the room or whether I should reserve it for sleep only so that she doesn’t get confused. Also whether I should get her to nap in her room or whether to keep her naps as they are (pram or car) so that everything doesn’t change at once.

I don’t want to do cry it out or night wean (how do you know they aren’t thirsty?!) so maybe I have to accept the limitations I’ve put upon myself...

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
FATEdestiny · 10/06/2020 17:22

You know you can turn a normal full sized cot or cotbed into a larger version of the next2me.

Any cot can have one side removed to make a 3-sided "sidecar cot" (Google images if you don't know what I mean). Then you just wedge it up to your bed.

I used a sidecar cot from birth with my 4 children, didn't bother wasting money on the extra furnature of a smaller sidecar crib. It helps get them used to having their own space, but with Mummy able to cuddle right inside the cot.

That solves one side of the bed. For the other side, a pool noodle under the bottom sheet makes enough of a ridge to stop baby falling out of bed. Pillows on the floor help for accidents - preferably large/solid pillows like those on a sofa for example.

Regarding you going to bed - I'd suggest setting up a dressing room (of sorts) for you in a different room. Nursery makes sence if you're not using that room. You could move your chest of drawers into the other room, maybe even your wardrobes (creates space for the big cot and floor pillows in your room). Add in a clothes horse or similar and basucly use this room for getting ready/dressed/undressed. Then you're literally just getting into bed and going to sleep in your room.

Finally, I know you didn't really want an answer, but (how do you know they aren’t thirsty?!) - a properly hydrated child (and adult) should not be waking in the night due to physical thirst. If they are, if you were, then they are very, very dehydrated and need to drink much more during the day.

Your baby is waking in the night for comfort - and that's ok. But she is not waking due to thirst, well not assuming you have a healthy diet including enough fluids in the daytime. Needing comfort is equally as important as needing fluids, I am not suggesting not feeding. But don't kid yourself as to the reason for the night feeds - they are 100% about comfort not calories or water.

FightMilkTM · 10/06/2020 18:34

We tried the big cot as a side car but she hated it! Absolutely refused to sleep in it.
And I do get totally ready for bed in the bathroom but just me getting into the bed disturbs her. She’s such a light sleeper Confused
Sigh Sad

The thing is, every adult I know takes a glass of water to bed. I don’t drink from it every night but on the odd night I do get thirsty it’s awful being thirsty and trying to go back to sleep. And I never know if tonight is the night she’s actually thirsty.
If it was just comfort I wouldn’t worry as much as she’s not really a comfort feeder in the day.

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