Another thread about the 4 month sleep regression...

[S082018]

I don't know if this is just a rant or if I'm looking for some solidarity but we are 5 weeks into the 4 month sleep regression and I can't remember what I feels like to have more than 1.5 hours sleep at a time. Last night, my little one had me up at every hour and would not be put down from 4am onwards. The only way he would settle was on my chest. We have tried co-sleeping and even that doesn't make a difference any more!!

I am really trying to introduce the whole putting him down "drowsy but awake" and this is very hit and miss. Even when he does manage to do it, he still wakes after 40 minutes, has to be settled back to sleep and then the regular night wakings begin...

And boy when the night wakings start, they just don't stop. 😫

I really don't know how I am functioning at the moment but I also can't seem to see a light at the end of the tunnel as his sleep is just going from bad to worse. I always tell myself that "tonight is going to be the night we have a better night" and it really isn't the case!!!

Please somebody tell me it gets better before I lose my mind. I feel a tiny bit broken today.

Op, we're not quite there yet but didn't want to read and run.

I think we're just at the begining of the sleep regression so don't have any practical advice. Can only relate to how the first two months have been for us.

All I can suggest is if you can, and have a partner, take a break. Even if it's just the once, even if it's 10 mins. Leave the house and breath. If you don't have anyone, leave baby in a safe place (cot, moses basket) and give yourself a few minutes to take a break. It's the only way you'll keep sane.

Was baby a good sleeper pre regression?
Hope it goes away soon and you get some rest 🤗

Hi @Akasia thanks for the reply. My boy has never been a great sleeper in the first place which is why I think the regression has just hit us like a ton of bricks!

Thank you for your kind words and advice and I hope the regression doesn't hit you too badly! X

S082018 how do you get baby to sleep at bedtime and during these night wakes?

What's baby's usual sleep set up? A sidecar cot (full sized) helps you to teach baby to go to sleep whilst in the cot.

Do you use a dummy?

@FATEdestiny occasionally I can put him on his side and pat his bum and he falls back to sleep. Other times he does not settle at all and I have to pick him up. This is what I'm trying not to do as I know the problem is that he is used to being rocked/shh'd to sleep.

I now put him down in his next to me cot (with the side now up) drowsy and he usually (not all the time) can nod off himself using white noise and a dummy.

I don’t have any tips or advice unfortunately but just wanted to say I’m also right in the middle of the 4 month sleep regression...it’s so brutal isn’t it! My daughter was a terrible sleeper as a newborn but at around 12 weeks started to sleep 8 hr stints...this was very quickly taken away and replaced with maybe a 2-3 hr stint and then hourly or every 30 min wakings!

I didn’t think people could actually stay alive for this long on so little sleep haha...I laugh but it’s started to really impact my mood / sanity the last few days. I’ve made a new plan with my husband today that once per week (as long as this goes on) I’ll have a ‘night off’ where I do one last feed around 10pm then go sleep in a spare room with headphones on till 6am while he feeds expressed bottles. I’m exclusively breastfeeding and am worried about supply a little but reached the point where I just have to try something to get some rest. This may be an option for you if you have a partner to help out?

How's it going now OP? I have just seen I didn't come back to you.

occasionally I can put him on his side and pat his bum and he falls back to sleep. Other times he does not settle at all and I have to pick him up. This is what I'm trying not to do as I know the problem is that he is used to being rocked/shh'd to sleep.

Being held to go to sleep is the problem if you want him sleeping in the cot. But you know, it's important to see the bigger picture here.

If your baby is being held/rocked to sleep in your arms then instead of looking for ways to stop that, you could instead look at ways to maximise your own sleep despite him being held to sleep. For example working on putting him down next to you in bed and cuddling to sleep.

Why have you put the side up on the next2me? If I was in your situation, this would be the last thing id be doing.

Hello.. can I join please? My little boy is 4 months on Tuesday. He used to be quite a decent sleeper (5ish hour stints) but in the past week has been awful. Its very hard to get him down to sleep - he screams blue murder for at least an hour before settling. He won't take the boob and everything I do seems to upset him.
When he finally does go off, he's now waking more and more often. It started off going back to 3hr feeds. Then every 2hrs. Then last night he was up from 10.30pm-3.30am every hour!!! Ugh

He's breastfed but does take a bottle. He did feed at every waking so I'm wondering whether he is getting full enough from my milk? I'm thinking of introducing a bit of formula to see if that settles him more.

So tired!!

LolaLollypop

Your baby wont be hungry at every wake up. You are focusing on the assumption that baby is waking due to hunger. He will be waking due to overtiredness causing disturbed and light sleep, not because he needs a feed. So formula won't make a blind bit of difference.

It would be a good idea to have a way to settle baby to sleep that isn't feeding - working towards completely separating feeding and sleeping.

A dummy will help. Can you cuddle baby back to sleep instead of feeding?

Solidarity here. 6 weeks into the regression and I feel broken and snappish. Dread bedtime! She is inconsolable at every night waking unless i feed her, when she just wants the boob as she fslls asleep instantly...until i put her in her bed. Then it starts again. Hoping it's over soon!! Good to know we are not alone every hour of the night!

@FATEdestiny we are now at a point after a week of consistency where I can put my baby down wide awake in his cot to go to sleep! I do have to place him on his side and glentg tap his bum, but once I see him close his eyes I stop.

This is huge progress for us as he was so used to being rocked and held to sleep.

I am finding that he is still waking frequently in the night though (every 1.5-2hrs) and he needs patting to sleep again. He doesn't often need picking up any more. Only if he reallllly doesn't settle. How can I reduce down the patting and assistance from me?

That was supposed to say gently tap his bum!

@Trumpleton @LolaLollypop we will be 6 weeks into the regression as of tomorrow and we are slowly seeing signs of progress! It's still not perfect but bedtime is no longer a chore and my little one for the past 2 nights hasn't woken up at the 40 minute mark that he usually does! This is huge progress for us and I'm hoping it just gets better from here.

It's exhausting isn't it?

How can I reduce down the patting and assistance from me?

Pat when he's distressed or unsettled. Then leave your hand on his bum but still when he's calm. Restart the patting if he needs extra reassurance but always slow and stop (keeping your hand there) when he doesn't.

The next aim is that your hand on his bum is what gives the reassurance and that you only need to 2 or 3 pats to settle him down.

Thanks @FATEDestiny. I gave him a bath at around 7pm and DH gave him a bottle of expressed milk - 6oz... No joy... screaming blue murder (his last nap was at 3pm so he must have been tired!). Decided just to get him up for another hour with us
Tried again at 8.30pm - boob top up and he went off to sleep pretty easily!
Woke up at 10pm screaming but I popped the dummy in and he took it really well. He never usually takes it when he's awake! He's been asleep since so fingers crossed! I just want him to sleep more than my own need for sleep. I keep reading about how babies should be getting 15-16hrs sleep a day and he definitely is not getting that!
I am pretty confident my boobs have good supply as I can express 6oz easily. Hopefully offering the dummy for a comfort suck at night will mean he wakes less as no boob offered. Fingers crossed for tonight!