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Sleep

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Original poster

7mo staring for hours at night

17 replies

Spider5 · 28/05/2020 20:20

Hi! First post on mumsnet and it’s for advice about my 7 month old.

He has always been a poor sleeper but since moving him into his cot he has started waking at random times during the night for 2-3 hours. I wouldn’t mind so much if he was happy...but he stares into one spot without moving, just blinking. Doesn’t even cry. I’ve tried going in and comforting, holding, feeding but nothing works. As soon as he’s back in his cot he starts staring. It goes on for hours until he must be so exhausted he finally closes his eyes.

I’d happily co sleep but he doesn’t like it any more. Wakes so often and can’t get comfortable.

I don’t think staring for hours is normal sleep behaviour and I’m concerned being so tired all the time is affecting his development. He doesn’t nap well...30-40 mins x3 and wakes crying every time but won’t let me help him go back off. I Just don’t know what to do to help him :( my HV suggested controlled crying...not helpful when he doesn’t really cry and he’s exhausted enough as it is!

If you have any experience or advice I’d love to hear it x

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

whatisheupto · 28/05/2020 20:26

How do you know he is doing this? Have you got a camera on him? Or do you hear him cry initially?

Amrythings · 28/05/2020 20:28

Are you sure he's not sleeping with his eyes open? My cousin's youngest used to do it and it's bloody disconcerting.

tinkywinkyshandbag · 28/05/2020 20:29

My DD also used to sleep with her eyes open

IPityThePontipines · 28/05/2020 20:30

My youngest used to sleep with her eyes open too.

Babies are programmed to let you know when they aren't happy, so I wouldn't worry.

WitchWindows · 28/05/2020 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Buzlightyear1 · 28/05/2020 20:37

My 3 year old still does this freaks me out. He also laughs really hard in his sleep. And crawls around his bed. Completely asleep. It's is kind of sCarey 😂

Original poster

Spider5 · 29/05/2020 07:53

Thanks for responses!

Yes I have a camera on him. I’m not sure that he is asleep. He blinks and sometimes tosses and turns or looks around but always back to staring at the same spot. His eyes are fully open, but will start closing like he’s drifting off, then they’ll be wide open again. It only happens once during the middle of the night when he wakes and I’ve never noticed him sleep with his eyes open at any other time. He’s also absolutely exhausted so leads me to think he’s not asleep but maybe so exhausted he can’t switch off.

I wish I could switch off but if I know he’s awake I can’t :( I really hope you’re all right and he is content as I hate that he’s lying there unable to sleep and I can’t do anything to help him.

OP posts:

Original poster

Spider5 · 29/05/2020 07:56

Sorry, yes he does cry initially when he wakes. I’ll go in and give him his dummy/feed and then the 2 hour staring commences.

OP posts:

RubyDreamsOfRainbows · 29/05/2020 08:02

Give the GP a call. If it is a sleep disturbance they'll be able to refer him.

But otherwise, if he's not distressed while staring I wouldn't worry and just let him get on with it 🙂

Livingoffcoffee · 29/05/2020 08:07

He most likely is sleeping with his eyes open (really freaked me out when mine did this!). But if not, is there something that he's looking at that's distracting him? Mobile/Light shade/something on a shelf that's in his eyeline?

ScrapThatThen · 29/05/2020 08:16

I think it's curious and I understand your concern, however after doing a quick search it seems it's pretty normal 😊. I would concentrate on the really good things you can do for your baby in the daytime and when settling him. Lots of eye contact, baby talk, finding out what sensory inputs he likes (singing, tickling, giggling, rocking, baby massage). It's YOU that develops his brain pathways at this age, so spend time bonding playing and talking and get to know each other (I'm sure you do all this) but don't worry too much - but do talk to health professionals about your concerns when needed.

Original poster

Spider5 · 29/05/2020 09:05

I think it’s normal to stare for a few minutes before falling asleep, even half an hour maybe, but not up to 3 hours. Last night was a prime example - woke at 1am, cried, I went into him and he stopped quickly, then stared until 3.30am when he finally let out a sigh and closed his eyes.

Thank you for responses. I thought it could be something in his eyeline distracting him but have moved everything and he still does it.

I think I will speak to my GP but I’m doubtful that they will take me seriously. If only they saw how tired he is 90% of every day. He finds it so hard to engage with anything, even with me, for longer than a few minutes before getting irritable and upset.

OP posts:

TheVanguardSix · 29/05/2020 09:30

OP, I would see your GP. It sounds harmless and actually, rather sweet that your little baby is lying there, contemplating life in such a Zen manner. I'm curious, does your little one respond to you while you're in the room? Are you sitting there while he is staring for the full two hours? What's he like during the day? Does he engage well otherwise? You can actually push for a sleep medicine referral (i.e. Evelina Children's hospital in London runs a sleep medicine clinic) in
case you're worried about the lack of sleep impacting his development or health in general.

Be careful with this wording: It's YOU that develops his brain pathways at this age. We don't develop our children's brain's pathways. We play a role in aiding that development. Sorry to be pedantic.

Original poster

Spider5 · 29/05/2020 12:03

@TheVanguardSix I used to stay there with him but found that made him worse and he would cry most of the time. So now I just settle him when he cries to begin with, dummy, feed or cuddle, then put him back in his cot.

He engages ok for a few minutes at a time but gets very irritable and upset quickly. Towards the end of the day, say 4pm onwards, he spends most of the time lethargic and dazed so I wouldn’t say he engages well. He hasn’t reached many milestones apart from sitting. Still hasn’t rolled, doesn’t babble, hasn’t taken to weaning to solids..I know every baby develops at their own rate but I can’t help but feel like it’s because he’s so tired :(

I’m kind of glad you said that because I really do try my best to stimulate him and help him practise his skills but he’s so irritable he’s not interested. I hope it isn’t because of me!

OP posts:

WitchWindows · 29/05/2020 15:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nv1691 · 07/01/2024 22:03

Hey I hope your LO managed to get some answers? My son is a year old and first time tonight he is doing the same, just staring round, twiddling his fingers, fidgety etc. He's not crying though. Kind of concerning and odd and couldn't find anything online other than this post. Thank you

Saecee · 11/01/2024 11:31

Both my kids and their Dad sleep with their eyes open! My 9 y/o can also hold a conversation while asleep, so in the past it’s been hard to tell if she’s actually awake or not although now I can tell the difference. I sometimes close OH’s eyes for him 😂

They do also toss and turn and eventually close them again. Definitely give your GP a call though, they will probably be able to put your mind at ease or support you with it. Maybe take a video to show them too?

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