Don't want to co sleep!

[twittyx]

Hello.
So my 10 month old is in a really good routine & usually goes to bed around 6pm and falls to sleep by himself.

He sleeps usually 12 hours so wakes around 6am which I'm happy with.

Trouble is he wakes at least once every single night and will not go back unless in my bed. I've tried leaving him cry it out but he doesn't stop meaning me & DP are awake for ages trying to get him to go back to sleep in his cot. Usually this results in us bringing him in our bed and eventually I will take him back to his cot once asleep.

He's not hungry and he's used to not having a nappy change during the night now. He's got 2 teeth & I'm aware it could be teething but this is every single night without fail. I think he's just used to coming into our bed now.

Does anyone have any tips as I really don't want to start co sleeping or for this to become a habit? I'd love for him to sleep through before I go back to work not only for me but to ensure he is getting a full night sleep too.

also I have a Gro Egg so I know the temp is fine in his room n it's not that xx

He is only 10 months old. I think he is doing really well. Many mums could only dream of having such a good sleeper. It's perfectly normal for a baby to need to be close to his mum. I'm sorry that this isn't the help or advice you are after
But there isn't a quick fix
He will slowly grow and mature and become less reliant on you. If there where a magic 'quick fix' that person would be very rich! The most important thing at the moment is that your all getting some sleep. 😄

My suggestion would be to have the cot in your bedroom.

This backdoor route to cosleeping is really common at the stage you are. Backdoor because you didn't plan/want to cosleep and Cosleeping starts at later age, not newborn.

Basically it goes like this: Baby sleeping in cot/crib in your room up to 6 months old, waking in night as appropriate.

The "magic age" of 6 months comes and parents feel they should now put baby in own room. Mistakenly thinking this might help with night wake ups.

Fact is, 6 months is a minimum age to go to own room. Many aren't ready. Once in own room, parents have to physically get out of bed and deal with night wake ups while standing, knackered, in a room that isn't your bedroom. So parent naturally can't be arsed and end up making less effort. Likewise needing to get up and walk to another room once baby is settled (in parental bed) is a hassle, so reasons not to take baby back to cot.

Hence ending up cosleeping by the back door.

The answer is to keep cot in your room until baby is sleeping through consistantly and not waking up at all.

That way, you can settle baby quickly by just reaching over from your bed. You respond to baby faster meaning less likely to wake fully. You can do the settling without getting out of bed by leaning over the cot from your bed.

So, move full sized cot into your room. Move a chest of drawers out of your room if needs be, to make space.

With future children, have the cot in your room until child consistantly sleeping through.

@LetItGoHome hi thanks for your reply. Feel better just to know it's normal. I get a lot of criticism from family members about how he shouldn't be waking & definitely shouldn't be coming in our bed, how their children slept through from 5 weeks blah blah. Really pisses me off. He's such a good boy.

@FATEdestiny thank you hun but I can't fit cot in my room and feel like that would be a huge step backwards as he is absolutely fine in his room, in fact he sleeps better than ever. I just thought maybe I was missing something with settling him back to sleep as I said above, everyone else makes out their children didn't do this xxx

To be honest I'd stop discussing it with your family. They don't sound at all helpful. I would guess that the vast majority of baby's don't sleep through at 10 months. But if they do, good for them.
Your little boy just needs his mum and wants to be with you. You make him feel safe and secure when he wakes. No halm in that. Everyone wakes between sleep cycles. That is what humans do. The night will come, in time, when he can manage himself. Xx

@LetItGoHome thanks hun your completely right x

I get a lot of criticism from family members about how he shouldn't be waking & definitely shouldn't be coming in our bed, how their children slept through from 5 weeks blah blah. Really pisses me off. He's such a good boy.

Ignore, ignore, ignore! He sounds great! DS went through a phase of doing this around that age, and I always saw it as that - a phase, not co-sleeping. If he goes to sleep happily on his own but just wakes in the night and wants a cuddle I don’t see the problem. He’ll most likely grow out of it.

Wow I don't know a single baby in real life that slept through at this age. Mine was still waking wanting feeds every 3/4 hours.

I do think that sometimes family members have a habit of mis-remembering particularly when it's been a number of years. My mum has even commented at seeing things that have happened with my baby, it's bringing back memories for her that she had forgotten about, such as how tough the sleeping can be.

I have put a chair in my daughters room, she's 14 mths and has the odd night she needs cuddles to sleep and wanted to get into my bed. I sit and cuddle her in the chair until she's asleep then go back to bed x

@FATEdestiny there is actually quite a bit of research that shows kids sleep better in their own rooms...