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Nearly 7 month old sleeps through night - but only with me!

9 replies

faelavie · 17/05/2020 23:19

Hi MN! I've not been around here much since having my son, but I am having a bit of an issue and wondered if anyone here had any advice. I have seen some similar threads so I apologise for any repeat information, I shall give those a read too.

My baby boy has never been able to sleep very well on his own since he was a newborn, not even in the Next 2 Me. Even safe co-sleeping didn't help much; he wanted to be held on my chest. He only ever wanted to sleep on me. I figured that this was normal for a newborn and the "fourth trimester". I was extremely sleep deprived for a long time, so bad that I started having hallucinations.

Now, he's reaching 7 months of age. Night feedings have completely dropped. However, he has totally outgrown the Next2Me, and so I thought it was time to try and transition him to a cot in his own bedroom (my bedroom is small and has no space for his cot at all).

For daytime naps, he sleeps on me, because if I put him down anywhere else he awakens immediately and cries.

It takes a good while to settle DS to sleep, he only falls asleep on his own in the car or being walked in the pram. At home, he generally has to be held in order to fall asleep. Then when he seems fast asleep we transition him to the cot.

On a good night, he'll then sleep for a couple of hours in the cot before waking.
On a bad night, his eyes will ping open and he'll start crying as soon as we lay him down.

Once he's awake and crying, we sometimes try to settle him again - by putting the dummy back in, or if that doesn't calm him, by picking him up for a cuddle then putting him back in the cot. But to be honest, we're often too knackered for this, and I end up giving in and bringing him into my bed to co-sleep. He will then sleep through the rest of the night without issue!

The co-sleeping isn't really ideal. I do get some sleep like this though, but never good quality sleep, I'm not sure why. I worry about accidentally rolling over onto him, or something. Whatever the reason, I don't sleep well and months of exhaustion is having an effect on my health and my relationship as I've turned into a witch. Anyway, I would rather not have to do it, I want my baby to learn to get to sleep on his own and in his own room. I worry that the transition is going to get harder as he gets older, that seems to be what every article online says. I don't have much maternity leave left, and I work as a nurse.... I think I'll go crazy on these current sleep patterns when back at work.

We have tried white noise (have Ewan the dream sheep), putting one of my t-shirts in with him so he can still smell me, it doesn't seem to make any difference.

Things that Facebookers have suggested to me are:

  • moving furniture out of my room and bringing his cot inside (I don't have much furniture to move, it's a small room)
  • Me sleeping in his room on a mattress next to the cot (I'm not adverse to this idea in the short term)
  • Co-sleeping for the foreseeable future and giving up on the own room idea (Would really rather not!)

Please be kind. I love my boy and of course I love our cuddles together. But I really would like us both to get better quality sleep before this starts to get more difficult as he gets older. Any advice, especially from people who have been in a similar situation, would be greatly appreciated!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SomeoneElseEntirelyNow · 18/05/2020 08:38

Where does he sleep for naps?

Onone · 18/05/2020 08:49

Op said on her

SomeoneElseEntirelyNow · 18/05/2020 10:16

@Onone thanks, obviously sleep dep is getting to me too!

roundtwist · 18/05/2020 11:51

I think I would try and break daytime naps first, starting with the first nap of the day. If he cries when you put him down, I would cuddle him to sleep and try again. Controlled crying might be faster but it depends on how much you can bear your little one getting upset. Just remember there only little for a little time so if it doesn't work/is super stressful it's fine to wait a few weeks and try again!

faelavie · 20/05/2020 20:04

@roundtwist Thank you. I have given it a go but not managed to crack it yet. Will keep trying!

OP posts:
EveryoneLoves09876 · 20/05/2020 20:10

Honestly, we did everyone we could to move the cot into our room. If it doesn't fit, can you get a smaller travel cot? Hopefully you can start transitioning him into it. Also you're prime separation anxiety stage. Basically you want to keep him feeling as secure as possible until it passes. It will pass btw.

faelavie · 20/05/2020 21:05

@EveryoneLoves09876 thank you for your reply. Honestly I would prefer him to be in his own room. Otherwise it seems a travel cot would be yet another new sleeping space to try and get him used to. I did think that seperation anxiety could be an issue, but tbh he has never ever comfortably slept anywhere but on me. Even the Next2Me took months to get him into.

OP posts:
littlegiant · 20/05/2020 21:26

Hello! I'm following because I need some help too.
Mine only falls asleep on someone or in the pram and will wake every single time you put him down.
Also 7 months and breastfeeding and co sleeping...

stormy11 · 21/05/2020 17:24

I have 3 month old that only sleeps on me and we co-slept for a while. She has been in her next to me for the past 5 weeks. We put a hot water bottle in her crib and put her down when she is asleep (obviously take the hot water bottle out before putting baby down). This helped us a lot. It might be worth a try?

I haven't cracked the day time naps yet though, they still only happen on me or in the swing Hmm

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