how do i stop from rocking my 14 month to sleep everynight

[moodaz]

every night we go through the same routine,my daughter is 14 months old and always gets tired around 6-6.30 every night so we run bath at 6.30 then she stays in it for about 10 mins then we bring her downstairs to get dried and dressed then we put her in bouncy chair with bottle and blankey and as soon as she has finished with bottle we put dummmy in and then we start to rock some times she goes straight off but most of the time it can take upto 1 hour before she goes sleep. odd times she will go bed after an hour of rocking and go straight sleep but not very often. if you try to put her bed without rocking she will start to cry and almost imediately be sick. any body out there knows what i can do.

When you say bring her downstairs do you mean to the sitting room with toys and tv around?

If so this would be the first change. I take DD to our bed - no stimulation but lots of comfy smells of Mummy and Daddy We play gentle games and I sing songs. Then get her ready for bed and then feed her in the Nursery. Then into cot by herself.

Perhaps start by moving the prep for bed into her room/your room if near hers. Then after a week or so go from putting her into the seat to feeding in your arms/in cot.

I don't FF so have the back up of BF to sleep if DD is in a bad mood so perhaps other FF can help more?

A softly softly change in the routine is needed I think.

don't take her downstairs after the bath, do last feed in her bedroom, with lights dimmed. Don't talk to her during feed. Afterwards put her straight in the cot, say night night. If she cries pick her up, comfort her say shh and put her down again. Walk out room. Keep going back to comfort if necessary but keep very brief. It will work eventually, might take ages first night, but persevere. HTH

I agree. You're also essentially putting her in to the rocker when she should be being put in to her cot, so she's having to go to bed 'twice' each night which must be quite unsettling for her too.

My suggestion is bath, then gentle drying and getting in to PJs etc in her room and silent cuddle and milk and then in to cot and then a few mins of eye to eye contact and gentle talking and a song and then say night night and leave the room. I say a few mins because then she will feel that she's had some real mummy time and not just shoved in to her cot and left. My DD gets quite upset if this process is too quick and takes longer to settle, otherwise she settles instantly by herself. When she cries, go back in but do not lift her out of the cot - just hand on tummy, stroke her hair, reassure until she's a bit calmer and then leave again. She will cry again but leave the room before you go back in again. Repeat until she settles (could take all evening so be braced!). The next night, when you go back in, no talking but just hand on tummy / stroke back etc. She will settle more quickly over a smalkl number of nights once her confidence grows. If she's likely to be sick, put a bib on her / tie muslin to make the clean up easier + put pillow case / towel under her head etc.

P.s. I wonder if worth starting the bath at 6pm before she gets over tired? Also I feed with lights off completely but that's just us. As soon as I turn them off, she starts to cry for milk so i think it acts as another bed time trigger.

I'm with pinkteddy all the way. We started this routine with ds when he was about 6 months old, it took a couple of nights but then he was fine. He has always been put to bed awake too so has learnt to settle himself It will be tough for a few nights but just think of the bliss when you have cracked it

we have now changed her bed time... she now has bath at 6 back down for 6.15 dressed and in pj's by 6.25 and asleep in bouncy chair by 6.30ish... we then carry her up and she dont wake up till aronud 6 to 6.30 we cannot put her bed awake still and a bib is not enough for the amount of sick she does we put a towel on her matress doubled over with her sheet on top but she goes through it all and we have to bath and change her its that bad...this weekend we are going to try putting the pj's on in her bedroom... she doesn't drink milk only juice before she goes to bed we have tried to keep her on the milk but she has stopped it herself....so i will keep you informed on our progress...

Have you thought about the 'gradual withdrawl / retreat' method. I wonder if you are trying to jump too much by going from bouncy chair to cot. Our stages were: breastfeed to sleep, then rock to sleep, then hold on lap, then lie down together, then comfort in cot (patting, rubbing, singing, holding, etc) then sitting by cot, then sitting in room, then sitting outside of the room. Each stage took between a couple of days to a week to work and we sometimes went back a couple of stages if he was poorly or when I went back to work. It did take a long time as when I went back to work we had to go back more or less to the beginning but we had very few extended crying periods. Have you considered taking the bouncy chair into her bedroom so you can do the night time routine in there.

Lorisparkle, we did something similar to that, and I cannot believe that we put our baby to bed, kiss goodnight and walk out but WE DO and it feels like a miracle. We changed to staying upstairs after bath. For us it's 6:30 bath, then milk in room (still breastfeeding), then story (same one every night!), while she cuddles Dog, then into bed, and we tell her we're going to turn the light off and come back and tuck her in, then kiss goodnight. She stopped breastfeeding to sleep, so then we started rocking her in cot, then shh/patting, then shh/hands on, then shh in room, then shh at door, then shh outside door and we've just stopped shh. Took a few weeks, but it was very chilled and relaxed and all 3 of us love it.

why does she come back down after her bath?
surely she is too big for the bouncy chair or did you mean 14 weeks?

Habbibu - sounds like you did gently gently technique that i plan to do with dd when she's a bit older. she;s now 15 weeks and i feed her to sleep on my lap. she sleeps well so i'm in no rush to get her into a more independent routine, but will do eventually. just wondered, what age did you do this? (sorry to hijack)

Not for aaagggeess! She fed to sleep until about 8 months, but had started waking in the night again at about 7 months - teeth, colds, blah blah, and it took us ages to decide what to do. We tried CC in the middle of the night in sheer desperation - going in every 2 mins. We all hated it and vowed never again. If I were to do this again I'd maybe start really really slowly and gently at 7ish months? We decided that it might take a really long time, and we were happy with that, but after a while we realised we could speed up the phases and she was ok. Still wakes in the night a bit, but now shh/patting feels like a massive intervention, and we used to be amazed that we could get her to sleep like that!

Thanks, I find that really reassuring. I'm very happy with things at hte moment (have ended up continum concepting without ever realising or intending - but it's working!) but sometimes worry am creating rod for back for future. Instinctively though I've always felt we could move on when the time was right and your story seems to support that (sorry again for hijack, good luck Moodaz seems like you've got good advice here.)

They all learn eventually!

Moondaz - move the rocker to her room. And see the GP about the vomiting, at this age she should not be possetting(sp?) so it likely to be reflux of something similar. Perhaps the rocking is giving her motion sickness. Sorry if I sound a bit blunt!

Also perhaps water before bed rather than juice would be easier on the stomach?

Glad things are a bit easier. Keep going with the gradual changes and you will get to the point where she will fall asleep alone!

(well I keep telling myself that anyway )