11 month old won't go to sleep unless held to sleep

[Charlotte2129]

So, my 11 month old daughter has always wanted to be put to sleep whilst being held. She won't settle herself and will cry and cry for me. Of course I love that she wants to cuddle and love, but it takes so long to get her to sleep and I'm worried she will carry on wanting this until she's considered too old. She ends up going to bed so late because of it.

I really can't bring myself to let her cry herself to sleep. I honestly think she'd cry until she's sick. And I've had people really pushing me to do this.

Has anyone else had this and is there another way around it? I'm of course not judging other mums for doing this by the way x

You could try the Lucy Wolfe ‘stay and support’ method, which worked for me. It’s not exactly no crying, but isn’t controlled crying either, it involves sitting/lying next to the cot and stroking, patting etc so they know you’re there and comforting them, rather than going out and leaving them crying alone for x minutes at a time. The idea is that you stop patting but then sit next to them, gradually move further away until you’re out of the room. (Obviously the book explains it better). Like I say, it has worked for me, I never actually did the moving out of the room bit, the patting now works to send mine off to sleep when there’s bedtime drama!

Does it matter what anyone else considers 'too old'?

Is it any of their business? Don't let other people push you into doing something that feels unnatural and wrong.

DS is 3 next month, I still lie next to him as he goes to sleep or in the chair in his room if he wants.

I'll do that as long as he wants me to. Noone's business.

If she's taking a long time to get to sleep though, it might be that she's ready to drop a nap?

11 months is still tiny in the grand scheme of things! My one year old goes to sleep being cuddled on my lap and I assume she will need that for a long time. Nights when it takes ages are generally because she had a really late afternoon nap.

Swaddle and try a not very bouncy, Bouncy chair then transition to cot