What am I doing wrong :(

[Bxy123]

DS is 9mo and now sleeps twice a day in his cot for about an hour and a half at a time. I put him down wide awake and I leave the room. He plays for a few minutes but then just drifts off to sleep. Night time is a whole other game. Routine is boob, bath, bed (in that order) but the second I lay him in his cot, he screams his little lungs out. I've tried leaving him for a few minutes but he gets so worked up. I don't pick him up to settle him but I have to stay until he is asleep. He also won't settle with DH at night either. I don't understand what is so different between day time naps and night time sleep. I must be doing something wrong but I have no clue what 😔 has anyone else experienced this?

Your not doing anything wrong, babies are just weird! Who knows why the cot is fine for daytime, but absolutely unacceptable at bedtime?!

You could maybe try bath, story, boob, bed? So has more of a wind down between the fun of bath time and bed time.

Definitely have milk as the very last thing before bed. Having a full stomach will make him sleepy too whereas bathtime will be getting him excited.

Kind of a similar thing with my 8 and a half month old... He settles well for naps and bed time but is waking in the night screaming and just won't settle. We have tried all the sleep training techniques out there for 2-3 weeks at s time to stay consistent and nothing works!! Everything says that if they can self settle then they'll be able to settle themselves back to sleep but he self settled to get to sleep but then can't during the night.
Sorry to jump on your post, couldn't figure out how to write a new one and desperate to just get some help or advice! Going back to work in three weeks and just don't know what to do next!

My 9 month old exactly the same. Got him into a decent day routine of one nap 9-10, and afternoon nap 2-3. Night time intermittent hell. Screaming when put down in cot. Tonight he has woken every two hours and is now beside me in my bed, having resorted to co sleeping for my sanity and my own sleep. I refuse to do cio.
My night routine is bath, story, boob, bed.

I just don't understand. We tried sitting next to his cot to reassure him when he woke for two weeks, which seemed to work for EVERYONE...I also resorted to cosleeping last night, which doesn't give me a great sleep. I just wish I knew 1, why he wakes up in the night and 2 why he struggles SO much to to back to sleep. I really don't want to do the CIO either! Everything I read I feel we have tried and it makes no difference.. even cosleeping ended up taking half an hour for him to eventually settle last night. What times does yours go to bed/wake up? X

Bluesuede - our daytime nap routine is the same, first nap is around 9am and the second is around 2pm. Both are exactly an hour and a half each time. Goes in his cot wide awake and just dozes off! But then at night, the second I walk away from his cot he starts screaming. I even tried not bathing him last night and just had lots of cuddles before bed but that didn't make any difference!

SP07 - DS is usually asleep for between 7.30pm and 8pm but the last few weeks he has been waking up early, anywhere between 5am and 6am. I don't want to do CIO, I'm just going to stick with it for a bit longer I think and trust that he'll sleep on his own at night when he is ready. DS was up every 2 hours last night, I think teething may also be a factor for us at the moment!

@SP07 my DS starts bath routine at 6 with aim that he is asleep for 7, and he generally wakes for the day between 6.30-7 (although he usually wakes about 5am too but I manage to feed/ snuggle him back to sleep), of course he also wakes every two hours before he comes to our bed. I don’t sleep great co-sleeping (I love sleeping on my tummy but can’t do that so I often wake with a sore back, but crap sleep better than none is what I decided!)
Have just realised we all have boys - is it a boy thing maybe he’s my first so I’ve no other experience hahah!!
I too have tried the sitting by cot to comfort him but it makes no difference, only thing that works is to cuddle him which is fine, but I would like a non crying way of him getting used to just relaxing and going to sleep in his cot. Sometimes when not even cuddling settles him I literally give up and bring him downstairs to watch tv with me and DH for half an hour. Totally against a lot of the advice out there but it means I can relax a bit rather than stressing that he isn’t sleeping! I just hope he’ll eventually go longer and longer sleeping in the cot until one day he sleeps there all night. He’s only learnt to crawl last month and had two bottom teeth, he’s now trying to stand up and there’s another tooth on it’s way somewhere so I’ve accepted that at this stage he’s just not going to settle.
Pre teeth and trying to crawl, we reached a stage where he slept in his cot and woke at 10, 1/2 and 4/5 for feed before waking at 7 for the day and that was a great time in my book

@Bxy123 you should absolutely try bath, boob, bed. Or even bath, books in quiet room dim light...lots of cuddles then into darker room where he sleeps -boob, bed,

My DD was like this.also if she had too much day naps - didn't settle well at night.

Try that order see how you go. White noise - fan gently whirring also worked well for me. Blackout blinds or curtains also helped wonders.

@yorkintherain81 bath, boob and bed has been our routine since he was born but I want to stop feeding him to sleep. Each night he'd fall asleep on the boob, I'd transfer him to his cot and about 20 mins later he would wake up screaming. This stopped for a few days once I no longer fed him to sleep but its happening again now so I don't think there is a correlation anyway! I don't feed him to sleep in the day so wanted to stop at night too. We use Ewan for our white noise and have blackout curtains but he is just like a different baby at night!

I wrote a similar post recently, as my 9 month olds sleep had become even more haywire- well I tried some new things and her sleep was great for 4 nights. Now back to complete mess, screaming etc- although will cheerfully nod off in the day time. I have also come to the conclusion I am not doing anything wrong and as a pp said babies are just weird and do what they like. I will try some more sleep training but for me she's still a bit too young to do anything but try and break the feed to sleep connection and who knows if that will work for my little madam! Hope it gets better for you, you are not alone and not doing anything wrong!! Xx

I'm in the same boat with my 9 mo.
He naps like a dream! 2 naps both lasting 1.5hrs, goes down for the night relatively well between 7:30/8 every night but after that is a different story. Some nights he stays asleep til the early hours but then will wake hourly wanting my boob, other nights he will wake hourly once he goes down for the night. I just can't cope with it anymore I'm exhausted! I'm a single parent and really struggling with the lack of sleep!
Sorry I can't offer any advice, just know that you are not alone 🤍