16 month screaming for 2hrs at 1am every night

[CherryBlossom456]

My son has always been a terrible sleeper but I had got him down to 1 watered down bottle and this was the only time he woke at night 7.30pm-6pm. Falls asleep himself with only a small amount of comforting (which is incredible for us). Naps 10-11.15am trying to push this later in the morning

However the last week he has woken at 1am for 2 hours screaming every night. Nothing will settle him and he won’t even pat or cuddle to sleep. I have given him calpol and later ibuprofen, changed his not very wet nappy and offered him a watered down bottle which he refuses.

I don’t know what to do. Tonight I am just leaving him to scream. Currently he has been screaming 1hr30mins

Please help me I am having to look after him in the day and make my hours up in the evening everyday as I am WFH with Coronavirus and get no downtime at all - I am exhausted and can’t have this.

You poor thing. That sounds so hard. Have you read about ‘wake to sleep?’ If you search there are various threads on here about it but would involved waking him on purpose at before he usually wakes - 12.45 say. Sounds counterintuitive but we had a bit of success when DD1 had nightly 3am night terrors at a similar age.

He doesn't sound like he has enough daytime sleep to me. Only an hour and a quarter at his age and that huge gap to bedtime, I think he's overtired.

Don’t leave a child to scream that long, that’s awful

I know it’s hard but to ignore a distressed child is just not right, how can you sleep through it anyway?

Like all phases it will pass, you just have to hang in there. A later nap would possibly help but sometimes it’s just a developmental phase.

He has just dropped his 2nd nap (doesn’t want it) and I don’t let him have a second nap when he does want it because he’s not tired at bedtime and wont fall asleep until 9pm

I wish he would nap longer In the day (I would like more sleep myself) but he wakes up and doesn’t want to

When I’ve been staying with him (Patting, cuddling or just sitting there doing nothing) there becomes a point quite quickly where he wants to play (shouts ‘key!’ Repeatedly and bounces up and down). Very cute but it’s not play time - Because of this I feel like refusing to go back to sleep is for attention?

Megan 2018 were your children non sleepers? I can’t express what a terrible sleeper my son has been from birth and the journey we have been on to get to this point. Of course I don’t sleep through it, it’s horrible!

Doesn’t want to fall asleep until 9pm when he has a 2ndnap*

My daughter did this. I still have no idea what it was. She stopped it herself eventually.i just got her out of bed and read a story/ other distraction then back to bed again.
Im notvone though for ignoring a child because they're doing something for attention....seems counterintuitive to me. O think you get more sleep by giving them what they need.
My first was a completely shit sleeper.

not one, I.....sorry for all the typos.

Mine did this for a bit. The only thing that helped was stripping him down to naked and then getting him dressed again, giving him a cuddle and then popping him back to bed.

My DS went through exactly the same at the same age, it’s a developmental phase I think. I remember being on my knees, so lots of sympathy OP. All I can say is that it will pass

Thanks guys. I’ll try taking him out of the situation and putting him back like you suggest.

I’ve been on a very long painful journey getting down to 1 wake (sometimes 2..) and taking advice from the HVs on several things post 6 months e.g. continue to breastfeed don’t combination feed, he’s probably hungry at night so feed him, it’s too cruel to sleep train at his age so don’t leave him at all .. sound fine but have actually led to his sleep issues getting much worse in hindsight.

Practical guidance I can try from parents of other non sleepers is really appreciated! Night weaning was a game changer for us for example and most people I speak to have no idea what this is as they haven't needed it

Ish me luck! I’m desperate to not undo my hardwork to get down to 1 wake responding to this phase

We just saw a sleep consultant about a similar issue and I reckon your nap is too early. Needs to be 12-2, and bed by 7 to avoid wake ups. Try pushing it back, and don’t let him sleep any longer than 2:30 or the gap before bedtime is too short - you’re aiming for 4hrs 30 to 5hrs awake between sleeps at this age. It’ll take a while for your little one to adjust and there will be some hairy days but stick with it and hopefully it should sort itself.

I agree that the nap is at the wrong time, if he’s just having the one. My DS is 13 months and he’s just dropped down to 1 nap. I have to give him an early lunch at about 11:30 then take him up to his cot at 12:15. Could you try this? He might be tired throughout the morning for a while but give him lots of distractions. He might end up napping longer and a smaller gap until bedtime will help as he could be doing what he’s doing from overtiredness.

My daughter is currently doing this. Really do feel your pain weve tried everything. Most nights just wakes up inconsolable and NOTHING will settle her. We just keep distracting until she calms down and offer her a bottle to settle her again (shes 1 but I don't care we do what works for us and her) really feel your pain. Keep strong it will pass eventually!

Sympathy. I once had my neighbours bang on the wall during this stage. I ended up giving baby a banana which did help. Could it be hunger?

I don't mean feed him in night obviously, but maybe a late filling meal.

@CherryBlossom456 my DD is a “terrible” sleeper in many ways yes. I have to bedshare for all sleeps day and night (apart from the rare car or pushchair naps). It’s hard physically and mentally but I don’t view it as a problem.
I found the Gentle Sleep book really helpful at reframing my expectations. Babies and young children are not meant to sleep well, some do but most don’t.
None of the phases last. I hope mine may sleep through and in her own bed one day, but I accept it could be years.

Sounds like night terrors. I know it's early but some start from 18 months old. Also there is an 18 month sleep regression xx

I’ve not read all the replies
My 2nd child was like this. It drove me insane until I realised he slept better at night with the good daytime nap. I would drive or walk around for most of nap time just keeping him asleep but it really worked.
He’s 2 1/2 now and is a sleeping angel. It does get better but it is soo hard

I've not read all the replies and I have no real advice but I just wanted to say that my DS went through this at a similar age. He would wake up screaming and when I did manage to calm him down, he would go right back to screaming after. We never got to the root of it and it stopped eventually.

Seems to be a very weird and difficult stage but hopefully it won't last that long for you.

My son did this and after trying loads of things we reintroduced a bottle of milk (not watered down). He drained it within about a minute and went back to sleep. He did this every night for a couple of weeks then went back to sleeping through again. It happened again a few times over the following year where there'd be a week or so where he'd wake up for milk then just start sleeping through again. We put it down to growth spurts/development.