At my wits end ... 4 month sleep regression?

[anonnancy]

I don’t know what else to do. I can’t cope anymore!
I feel like I resent my baby because of this stupid sleep regression or whatever the f*ck it is.
He will not sleep in the day AT ALL. If he does eventually go down it is for 20-30 mins max and he is such a mardy baby ALL DAY.
I am stuck in the house on my own. I have PND and I just feel like I want to walk away and leave him on his own so I don’t have to deal with him.
His sleep at night is Ok but he is waking at 5am now rather than his usual 6am.
Because his naps are non existent or so shit, he wants to go to bed at 5:30/6pm.

Things I’ve tried for naps:

White noise
Dummy
Making room as dark as I can

He used to be able to self settle to sleep but hasn’t been doing that for about a month now (he cries when we leave him in his next2me).

I am pretty certain I am catching him at the right
Time for his naps (the minute I see a yawn I take him upstairs to change nappy and put him down with his dummy). He fights and fights sometimes
For about 45 mins / an hour by which point he is deffo over tired and then will not
Sleep at all.

What am I doing wrong? :( I am such a terrible
Mother I can’t even get my baby to nap!

First of all, you are not a terrible mother. You are doing the best you can and it's HARD! You even reaching out to mumsnet shows that you care & having this new little human in your house is overwhelming, it's 24/7 and you are still getting to know each other, so don't think for a second you're a terrible mother.

Have you thought of wearing your baby just to get a break? Usually, at that age, babies sleep every 1.5h after they wake up. This is just a suggestion and does mean it will work for your baby but after he/she wakes up, maybe do 10 minutes singing, a little wearing, playing etc and when it's time to sleep give him the boob or bottle and then put him in his Moses basket, put a snug blanket it so it's all comfy and nice, and stroke his / her head or cuddle her.

It will get better xx

It will get better on the sleep front - I’ve been there and felt like it was the worst thing ever and would never end ... but it did eventually!
Hope you are getting the right help for your Pnd

God sending you so much love and solidarity. My little boy is 5 months now and we've just been where you are. It lasted for about 2 weeks of him basically being up from midnight onwards every 20-30mins.

HOWEVER, before this he only ever napped on me, or for a max 30mins in his crib. Now on the other side of this he will actually nap in his cot, sometimes for 30 minutes but we've actually started getting 1.5-2hour naps!!!! He doesn't self settle as such but I can put him down just before he falls asleep and he will go down.
His night time sleep is still pretty shitty, but when I posted a thread about it, someone replied saying just do what you need to do to get through. I was/am so worried about instilling habits like co-sleeping/rocking to sleep, but she said despite doing those things her kids figured out independent sleep on their own accord. I took what she said on board as realised the lack of sleep (and this lockdown) was really affecting my MH. He now ends up in our bed from about 4am onwards, but it means we actually get some sleep.

I long for the day he sleeps 7-7 like most bottle fed babies seem to do for his age, but alas this is manageable for now!

@Twiglet2353 thank you ... I honestly feel so ill because I am just exhausted. It doesn’t help with us being in lockdown. My partner is a key worker so at work in the week and I feel totally trapped with a baby who doesn’t enjoy sleeping in the day at the moment. Utterly frustrating and tiring for us both I think.

Just can’t wait for him to get a bit better with napping. I’m more than happy with his night time sleep (6-12 then 12:30-3/4 then up at 5) albeit he gets up at 5am at the moment... x

@anonnancy this too shall pass, but in the meantime find something to help take your mind off it a little. I asked DH for some posh bath oils for my birthday so now I treat myself once or twice a week and leave the baby with him. I honestly don't know how people with other kids cope. I can't imagine functioning for another human being who is just as needy but in different ways!

Hope things improve for you soon xx

Have you tried walking baby in pram? Do they sleep on pram? My baby is 5 months so similar age and she will sleep 3/4 times in day for 30 mins-2hour each time she is either in pram in a walk in wrap on a walk or I rock her to sleep takes only few mins but sometimes she will cry till asleep as she is obv too tired, at night I okace in cot and she gets herself to sleep no rocking or anything , so maybe try tht? Is there a reason you want to Oleg in for let baby get themselves to sleep? I know some ppl will dosageee with me but I can't see harm in rocking

Thanks all for suggestions... things got a bit better for a couple of days but this morning he had a major meltdown when I put him down for his second nap. He had to be rocked to sleep which is fine but just don’t want to create this as a habit or something he relies on to sleep.

Yesterday he was in bed for the night at 5:30 as he was so shattered from rubbish naps all day... even if I let him sleep at 5:30 for a “nap” and wake him after 30 mins, he will just whinge and cry until we put him up to bed because he wants to go to sleep for the night.

I am honestly just so done with it. I don’t have the energy to even care right now but I want him going to bed at a decent time that isn’t too early! Argh!

Yeah I totally jinxed it because my baby's naps have been utter shite since I replied to this, and ending up in our bed overnight from not settling. 😩

My daughter was categorically THE WORST at sleeping once she hit the 4 month regression. I would do anything to try and ensure day naps...buggy, sling, car...anything - its a time issue but it does pass I promise..