Newborn, desperately need help!

[MonaLisaDoesntSmile]

We have a new baby, 5 days old today.

My first one was not a great sleeper and hardly napped during the day, but we are now finding out that he was a fab sleeper, actually sleeping 2-3 hours in a row, giving us time to sleep a bit between feeds.

Newborn won't settle at all. Unless on my or partner's chest. The moment we take him off and put down, he wakes instantly, does not matter if we let him sleep 5 or 30 minutes, he waskes up wailing and does not stop and escalates into a super loud cry, we tried to give him time to settle (I know at 4 days old he will not be able to do that yet though), pat him gently, warm his matress, play white noise.
We tried the crib, we tried cosleeping. In the first 5 days we have already fallen asleep with him on our chests instead, and we are freaking out as it's dangerous, but partner and me are totally knackered and it just happens. We have a hyperactive toddler, so can't catch up on sleep during the day either. Baby is very restless and super light sleeper during the day too and sleeps well in his bouncer or sling, but not in the cot.
I tried swaddling (my firstborn hated it) which worked for 2 wonderful hours before it stopped working and went back to normal.
I know it's early days, but I judt dont know what else to try.

There is nothing else to try, it’s completely and utterly normal. Google the 4th trimester. 5 days ago they were inside you; warm, cocooned and a permanent heartbeat. They don’t want to sleep in a cold crib by themselves; they want to be with you. It’s tough, and it’s hard and you just have to ride it out

Its normal with a baby so young.

A vote for cosleeping here too, it’s brutal but it will pass.

When toddler is awake. Put baby in the pram (or sling) and leave the house for a walk for as long as you can. Baby will probably sleep with the motion, toddler will burn energy and other parent can sleep uninterrupted at home. Then get home feed baby and do the same again with other parent. Then toddler might settle down a bit so one parent can go for a nap while other parent does baby duty etc.

It is normal sorry, most of the time. Have you tried a dummy? Could he also have bad wind?

You need to work in shifts while you can. You sleeping, your partner cuddling and vice versa.

Walking for the toddler, or a garden nap if you have one as fresh air can keep them sleeping better. Disney plus probably for a few weeks if you can get free trial.

Keep trying swaddling. I remember DD swinging wildly between what she liked and didn't like on a daily basis.

Things that helped with DD who was v similar:

• swaddle - persevere! We did and it paid off. We used something called the ‘miracle blanket’ that she couldn’t wriggle out of
• dummy
• white noise, really quite loud (we used waves)
• gently patting her chest to a heartbeat rhythm
• dark room

Is he bf or formula fed?

My ds was the same, we slept in shifts for about a fortnight and after that he settled in his moses basket much better. Try a dummy if you haven't already.

Keep going with the swaddle

My second was the same for first 6weeks at least. Get a newborn sling & let baby sleep on you. Second & third children are harder in some ways in my opinion as there is absolutely no let up when there are other children in house. It's exhausting !

White noise! There are free apps/you tube
Dummy
Swaddle
Moses basket rather than a larger side cot
Small cozy places
Sling to carry round as they should sleep in that

Good Luck and quickly it should get better. We had a newborn that slept a lot (very grateful for this) but did not sleep in the next to bed cot properly for 6 weeks.
Xx

Thank you everyone :)
@ThePawtriarchy- co-sleeping does not really work as he is still not sleeping between us, unless we have him on our chest. We managed to get one good night and were so hopeful that it would get easier and no...

We tried white noise, did not really do much. I am afraid of dummy as our elder was impossible to wean off dummies until over 2 years old, but we may have to go down that route if no joy after my partner finishes paternity, as it will not be possible to not sleep at all and take care of two children during the day :/

Corona screwed so many things up as we would be out with the older child and doing baby groups and seeing people which made the first one easier, now we're cooped up at home tired and grumpy...