Dummy weaning and naptime hell......

[booreeve]

We decided to wean off 15week old DS as he was waking upto 10 times a night crying for his dummy. Would pop it back in, and when it fell out more tears etc.... It's been a week now, nights are ok, he wakes usually twice now, but resettling him is no joke. That to one side, it's naptimes that have become hellish. He simply can't seem to find anyway of sooting himself at all. Much as he has fingers in his mouth for most of the day he won't find them when it's time to sleep. So it's hellish at present. He'll just scream and scream at naptimes, sometimes rocking and shushing works, and others he's inconsolable, am just really at a loss as to what to do. Part of me wants to give him his dummy back, but then I think all those tears he's shed have been futile. Any tips as to how to help him find a way to sooth himself? It's been 5-6 days should I just sit it out. I'd try CCing but I think he's a bit young.......

I think he is too young. Why have you decided to take the dummy away?

I'd give it back & wait for a while.

We took the dummy away because of night waking without it - he'd be exhausted by morning becasue he would be up so much of the night in the routine of spitting out his dummy in his sleep and then waking when he spat it out......sigh.....part of me thinks I should give it back to him for naptimes and then take it away as soon as he's settled...but I'm just not sure

Sorry, you did day that is why you took it away! I should read properly!

I think you have to assess which is the lesser of the two, tbh...him being tired in the morning, or not settling for naps.

I think him having for naps may confuse him & he may start wanting it at nihjt again.

Booreeve - much sympathy. I understand why you want to bin the dummy, as my DD would wake everytime she lost it, which was hourly, some nights.

We are on day 3 of dummy weaning for 6 month DD. As she is just about old enough for cc, this is what we've been doing. The naps are in many ways harder than the nights, as she's not as tired, so fights sleep a bit more.

We haven't found a solution, but I'm sticking with a cast iron routine for naps for a week. We have grobag, a story, then 10mins cuddle in the rocking chair. I give DD a blankie to hold to try and stop her flapping as much.

Also, what about setting yourself a time limit? We decided with dummy weaning that if we hadn't seen improvements in 7 nights, we'd stop. You can always leave it for a month if it's more trouble than it's worth, and then try again.

Have you tried sleeping with a muslin stuffed in your pyjama top then tuck the muslin around him/use as top sheet. I'm not mad, honestly, I'm thinking that from a comfort point of view he'd have your scent close to him ?

I took dummy off Ds2 at around this time too, for exactly the same reasons. HTH

Thanks for all your messages and support - he's normally on such a good schedule which seems to suit him really well, but becasue naptime has become so difficult, and he's probably getting less sleep during the day than he used to I'm getting worried. Granted the nights are better, far less waking than before, however this might just be that he's so exhausted from the lack of sleep and the abundance of screaming during the day! My thought now is that we've done almost a week, and he's still not settled, perhaps he's just not ready (will he ever be though?!)and I'm thinking of giving it back to him reluctantly just to settle him, and then taking it away from him as soon as he's asleep. Trying to rock him, sing to him, hand on chest etc......simply isn't helping, and the last thing I want is for he to become dependent on us to get to sleep, as I'm guessing that's a harder one to crack! I know lots of little ones find their fingers or thumbs, but he's simply not doing that........

Hi, sorry you're having a hard time, I hate trying to get DD to nap. If you want to wean off the dummy gently, the 'no cry sleep solution' book recommends giving the dummy then removing it just when you think your baby is dropping off, and gently holding your finger under their jaw to keep their mouth shut for a few seconds. Sounds bizarre but it works. If they struggle and root for the dummy again, put it in, then wait for the dropping off stage etc, then keep repeating until they do fall asleep. Takes a lot of repeats to start with, but should gradually improve. Best of luck with it.

Sorry should have added the point of this being to get them used to falling asleep with nothing in their mouth, so that eventually you can do without the dummy!

Thanks Smittals.....I think this might be the best option....just getting too much!

mine just recently gave dummy up age 4 for a trampoline and she has been fine ....could you wait til older?

Booreeve, I have just stopped using dummy for naps (DS is 6.5 months). I did the 'pull-off' method someone mentioned below, tbh I did it ever since i started using a dummy for naps as I was so scared of him getting hooked on it!

I think the key for me was having the same routine for naps every time -- into grobag, curtains closed, fan on (we have noisy neighbours!), musical giraffe toy, then used to give dummy and cuddle/rock in cot til asleep. Now I can skip the dummy and just cuddle in cot, he does grumble slightly but only for a minute or two then out like a light.

I do still have a dummy on standby 'cause sometimes he wakes early from a nap and if you don't get him resettled v quickly that's it, he's awake! So I shove the dummy in then, I figure the most important thing is he doesn't need it to go to sleep in the first place. (He can't suck fingers/thumb as he's got eczema and it's worst on his hands, so he has to sleep with mitts on.)

Also at 15 weeks his naptimes might be changing? It was around this time or not long after that mine started to be able to go a bit longer awake, so if I put him down too early I'd just get half an hour of screaming.

I think 15 weeks might be too young for them to find their fingers. My DD didn't find her thumb til 5 months, when we took her dummy away for the same reason, so you could try the removal method or just try again in a month or so.

I know it may be a bit late, but swaddling might calm them.

Otherwise they are old enough for the pickup/ putdown method at 4 months. You need a wind-down routine first, then try settling them in their cot, but if they cry, you pick them up til they calm down, then put them back down again. repeat until asleep, trying to settle them in the cot as much as poss. Use the same words each time you lay them down e.g. its just sleepy time, and you'll find that in a while, just saying those words will calm them to sleep! The theory is you are there so they don't feel abandoned, but they learn to fall asleep without your intervention. good luck whatever you decide.

PS I think it took more than a week to get DD to settle without her dummy and it was only really once she learnt to soothe herself with her thumb or holding a blanket that she would go to sleep without crying, and we still had crying sometimes even then.

Booreeve, I weaned dd2 recently off the dummy at about 14 weeks and for about a fortnight naps were a nightmare she cried constantly on and off. But I kept on putting her down for them sans dummy and eventually she got the hang of them and now is sleeping pretty well at nap times and at night, still waking for one feed but hey-ho! She's found her thumb and is much better at settling herself. So I'd persevere without the dummy, all this falling out at night stuff is a 'mare for you and if you don't tackle it early it will continue to be a problem. I think at 15 weeks you can do cc-ing if you want, there's no evidence it harms babies at all (will be shouted down by others but that's my view. With two I found I had to do it as it was simply impossible to rock, stroke, pat, pick up dd2 when her noisy sibling was demanding all my attention - and it was crueller to keep up an exhausted baby than to put her in her cot and let her yell for a bit as a way of letting off steam. IMO the most important thing for you and a baby to bond and that's hard when you are both exhausted. Good luck.

What kind of dummies do you use? Cherry dummies are much better at staying in than those orthodontic things. If you are happy to persevere with the miserable naps then I'm sure it will work out ok in the end but giving a dummy isn't the crime of the century.

And cc for a 15 week old is a big no no.