8 wo will only sleep in a sling & frequently wakes in it

[Esun]

Hi,

I'm a new mum with an 8 wo that'll only (and has only ever) sleep in a sling. Not only that but the majority of the time she'll wake up frequently (can be every 10 mins) crying and the only way to settle her back is to bop furiously on an exercise ball or walk vigourously whilst playing white noise. This has been the case for as long as I can remember. She won't sleep anywhere else (although has done an occasional 20 min nap in the pram but generally really doesn't like it in there). I don't think the issue is that she wants to be close to me (as she won't sleep directly on me and she will sleep on whoever wears the sling). So it's probably a combination of movement, being upright and lack of stimulation (she's a very very alert and active baby in the day and fights sleep). The situation doesn't feel sustainable - I'm physically knackered and it's mentally draining too as I feel like I'm on high alert the whole time waiting for her to cry out.

At night we have to get her into a deep sleep in the sling first but happily we can at least transfer her to a sleepyhead where she sleeps ok in the night (although I pretty much feed her to sleep). I occasionally try transferring her once in a deep sleep in the sling but she wakes up pretty immediately. I'm also worried as the more I try putting her down elsewhere and failing the less sleep she gets and more overtired and I don't want that to affect her otherwise ok night sleeps.

Any ideas for what I should do and when? Or do I have to trust that she'll grow out of it and will sleep somewhere else eventually? Any advice or hearing from others who've had the same issue would provide much reassurance to a frazzled and upset mum!

We're just bumping this for the OP.

You say she won’t sleep on you - does she fall asleep after feeding during the day at all? At 8 weeks DS was still mostly doing this. I would feed him to sleep lying down on my bed & just stay next to him, reading or whatever, figured that he needed the sleep more than it mattered he was in his crib or whatever. Try feeding her in a darkened room with the white noise going, lying down if you can?

What kind of sling do you have? I use a wrap sling which does start to hurt my back after a while, the structured carriers are more comfortable and she should be ok to use one at eight weeks.

for you though. I’m a new mum to a 12 week old & it is just horrendous sometimes. But things change every day, fingers crossed for you!

Forgot to say do you swaddle? Might be that she likes the enclosed feeling of the sling, and a grosnug or a swaddle blanket could recreate that.

My DD was exactly like this. All I can say is it does pass even though it feels like it will go on forever.

She hated lying flat in the pram but once we moved her into the 6m+ more tilted position she would sleep well in it. We put her in early, about 3 or 4 months once she could support her head so perhaps try that.

With daytime naps, I would suggest keep trying with the sleepyhead. Quiet, dark room. Make sure she's nice and full, clean nappy, not overtired, rock her until she's almost asleep then put her in... one day she'll surprise you and drop off! I think my DD was about 5-6 months. Was so relieved as she was getting much too heavy for the sling.

I could have written this OP! @Esun - my baba is 6 weeks & will only nap in the sling but frequently wakes if I try to do anything other than walk around my lounge or bounce on the ball. I too have to bounce vigorously to try get her back to sleep! People say ‘oh the sling is great to get jobs done or play with an older child’ .. not for me! The only way she stays asleep is walking or bouncing!

I also don’t think it’s me she’s particularly attached too as she happily goes in the sling with Daddy.

For the first two weeks of life, she’d happily fall asleep up on our shoulders or just in our arms but absolutely not anymore. She also never falls asleep on her bottle apart from at night

Sorry I have no advice but you are not alone! If you find any solution, I’ll be all ears!

Ah thank you. And she doesn't really fall asleep after a feed. Mainly drifts off on the boob and then wakes up when she comes off! Haven't tried the swaddle since the early days when shed juts wriggle out of it but could try it again with the lying down suggestion!

Thank you @SapphosRock! Will give it a go... X

@Bol87 thanks for messaging, good to know I'm not alone!! Trying to have faith that it'll pass...x

Oh I remember this well. In fact I had to take it one step further and put a sun hat on him so the beak covered his eyes so he couldn't see ANYTHING! but at this point I was just so happy I found something that worked for during the day. I got a lot of strange looks from people that thought I was creating a lot of work for myself! People just don't get it unless they have an active young young baby (our babies sound similar... My son as soon as he felt pressure on his feet would try to stand even at 2 months). He's 2.5 now, he goes to bed independently at night without me in the room. Naps... Well let's just say I'm happy he doesn't need a nap anymore 😁. He did start to sleep in the pushchair again however probably from about 6 months? So I just went on plenty of walks 😊

@MsChatterbox that's good to hear and yes, I'd be far less bothered if it weren't for the fact that everything says that sleep breeds sleep and that they need naps but sometimes it feels like such a battle to even get her to sleep in the sling!

@SapphosRock did yours also fight being in the sling as I think that's what I find really tough. Her morning nap is ok but the afternoon one is such a battle. Lots of kicking and crying out and I often have to take her out because I can't even bop her to sleep. But then that means she's only had a 2 hour nap in the morning which I'm concious isn't very much at all according to the info on nap requirements! xx

@Esun what sling do you have? She used to fight being in a wrap type sling as quite restrictive but loved the Baby Bjorn.

I do sympathize as it's a nightmare! Another but of advice is try and catch the window of opportunity before she gets overtired. So try and put her down for a nap no more than 1.5 hours after she's woken up.

I have another trick that's just worked a treat with DS (5 weeks) and used to work with DD. Put them down to nap, tired, full and sleepy. Have a quick shower, by the time you get out they will probably be wriggling and fretting a bit and about to scream. Put your hand on their chest to soothe them and put the hairdryer on. The white noise gets them to sleep beautifully and the added bonus is you are showered and ready for the day.

Thanks @SapphosRock I've got an Ergobaby which I think is similar to the baby Bjorn? And she's still really fighting being put in that.. even moreso today so I'll have to try putting her down to sleep in something else and just hope for the best (previously I've tried shush pat, white noise the lot! But granted I've not been consistent with trying the same thing every day!)

@OccasionalNachos I'm a bit of a novice to Mumsnet so didn't direct thanks to you too! I'm trying one of the day sleeps on bed at the moment as her fighting the sling and me needing to bop is miserable! It worked one day although she was comfort sucking for a long time before she drifted off... But didn't work today. Will keep trying though...

@MsChatterbox what did you do with your little active one? Or did they just outgrow the sling and start settling somewhere else in the day? x

He did eventually start dropping off if I would rock him then I could put him down in his cot! There's hope for you 🤞🏻

Have you tried a dummie?

@Tmnmpa1 no but what do you reckon, that it might be a useful sleep association/ soother? X

@MsChatterbox I really hope so!! Xxx

Oh my gosh yes to a dummy!! It helped me son to sleep so much. The only thing is in the beginning they can't put it in themselves so you have to be prepared to put it back when they wake at night. I was find with this as he was in arms reach so I did it half asleep then dropped back off!

On my third baby and the same story as op and as my older two. I think it’s called ‘colic’y baby. Have been carrying my 5w old around all day trying to get more than 5 min sleep here and there

I know this thread is a few months old now but I wanted to ask how it's gone OP and previous posters, did you find any tricks to get your little ones to nap somewhere other than the sling?

My 8 week old is exactly the same. She is fine at night (because its darker and the melatonin makes her sleepy I think) but during the day will only sleep in the sling with the hood up. She's in there now, stirring whenever I stop swaying!

She's so alert and needs all visual stimulation to be cut off to relax. I tried to go cold turkey yesterday but ended up with a very unhappy overtired baby... So back to the sling it is!

@Bol87 it's been a while but thought I'd drop you a note in case you're in the same situation now as you were when I posted this. So I started doing one nap a day not in the sling where I'd do a feed on the bed and more often than not she'd fall asleep after lots and lots of comfort sucking. Not ideal but it meant one less sling nap! And then about 3 weeks ago I started putting her down to sleep in her cot at night. Which went surprisingly ok. So about a week ago I started putting her down in her cot for 1 nap a day. Tbh I think a combination of her being a bit older and more ready is the main reason it's worked but perhaps getting her familiar with the cot at nighttime first, also helped with the naps. Granted she only sleeps for 30 mins in the cot during the day but it's still such a relief to be free of the sling in that time and to know she can sleep elsewhere! Hopefully you've found a way through too but if not, there is hope! xx

@LikeTheOceansWeRise sorry I've only just seen your post! My post just now should answer your question. But just the add, at 8 weeks there's no way my daughter would have slept outside the sling (in fact I remember clearly spending 3 hours trying to get her to sleep once and she managed 20 mins.. but that was unsustainable). But a few weeks ago I felt like it'd be worth trying again (she just seemed a bit more 'ready' not to be in the sling). So I started with the nights and then now I use the same soothing techniques that I do at night (same phrases and putting my hand on her chest) for the morning nap in her cot and she'll sleep for 30-40 mins. But honestly I think it's just that she was more ready and also she sometimes sucks her thumb now which massively helps her to self soothe (she wouldn't take a dummy but if yours will then I'd definitely try it as they seem to find sucking so relaxing). Next step for me will be to try her second nap of the day not in the sling. So a gradual approach. I'm also worried that it means she'll be getting far less sleep overall but I can't bear the sling and my back's really dodgy now after 4 months of wearing it! Hope that's helpful - things will change! x