Capping the morning nap?

[Laura1609]

My 10 month old DS is late to the 3-2 nap transition, only really managing it in the last few weeks.
He’s never been the best sleeper and I had to spend the first 6 months holding him for every nap but it’s getting better. Anyway, he tends to favour a longer morning nap (1h15-1h30) and then a 45 minute afternoon nap. Everything I’ve read and info from a sleep consultant we sought help from says the morning nap should be shorter and the afternoon nap longer but this is a struggle! I get it as his longest awake period is from waking up from the second nap until bedtime so it makes sense that he needs a longer stint of sleep to prevent overtiredness. For the last couple of weeks I’ve tried capping his morning nap to 45-60 mins with a view for him to sleep longer in the afternoon but this hasn’t worked and he’ll still do a short afternoon nap and no amount of resettling will get him back down. He often wakes crying from this nap as he’s still tired but won’t go back to sleep. He’s put in his cot awake, in a dark room with white noise and settles himself to sleep. Is the long afternoon nap really so important? I feel like he could get more total daytime sleep if I let him sleep for as long as he wants in the morning.
His night sleep is generally ok; usually wakes once for a breastfeed which I know he doesn’t need at his age but it’s the quickest way to get him back to sleep at 4am!
His wake up time in the morning can be anywhere from 6am-7.20am and I put him for his first nap 3 hours after waking (I know some would suggest 2 hours but he won’t go down so soon after waking). Then it’s another 3 hours awake period before his second nap and usually around 3.5 hours from this nap ending and bed (usually around 6.30-6.40).
Blimey, I’ve rambled so well done anyone who has read this far! Any advice on extending the lunch nap or should I just let him sleep when he wants?

Anyone have any advice?

Hi, this sounds just like my DS, he’s 13 months and at about 9 months he dropped his third nap.
Currently he wakes at about 6.30am, naps 9-10.15 ish but sometimes up until 11. He is then awake for 3 hours and his second nap starts between 1.30pm and 2pm and he usually has about 1 hour 15 mins. He then goes to bed at 6.30pm and sleeps through till morning.
He has also always slept better in the morning than the afternoon. At 10 months I was trying to do the same as you and he would also have a really short afternoon nap if I capped his morning nap.
I do wake him up at 11 just to make sure his second nap starts at 2ish so he doesn’t sleep so late in the afternoon.
Very occasionally he’ll have a short nap on his own in the morning and then sleep for 2 hours in the afternoon.
Given he is sleeping great at night I figure it’s fine, I’m sure it’ll all work out in the end!

I'm sure at that age that I capped the morning nap at 30 minutes max - if he'd woken up very early. I'd often wake him up after 10-20 minutes, so that he'd go down again at 12:30 for a long nap.

@mightybuzz interesting. How long did you keep him up for before putting him down for his next nap if he’d only slept for 20 mins?

@Abouttimemum I’m kind of hoping it’ll just work itself out too. I spent so many months wishing he’d nap that the idea of waking him up feels so wrong to me! Yesterday he slept for 1h15 in the morning and 45 mins in the afternoon and he actually slept through from 7.15pm-6.45am!

So after a morning nap of 1h20 he woke up after 38 minutes this afternoon. Is 2 hours total day sleep enough for a VERY active 10 month old?!

@Laura1609 I used to follow the 'Little Ones' schedules. For 8-10 months they advise a 30 minute morning nap from 9:30 to 10:00. Then a lunch nap at 12:30-2:30.

Then at 10-12 months, a morning nap of 10-20 minutes from 9:30 until about 9:50 or thereabouts. And again, lunch nap 12:30-2:30.

If I would let him to it by himself, he would have done the same as yours - a long nap in the morning and then a shorter one later in the afternoon. But then he'd barely make it to bedtime and would be cranky in the afternoon. We also had him start nursery around that time, and nurseries generally put kids down 12-2 until they're toddlers, and it just seemed like a good idea to get him in the rythm of a long midday nap.
Ultimately they drop the morning nap, so you don't want them to rely on it really.

So yeah, I would just wake him up so he's not fully 'rested' and would go down again at 12:30.

Thanks, I’ll try it for a week or so. My main concern is having to revert back to 3 naps temporarily because he’s never napped for 2 hours in his life and I can see him just ending up with 2 short ones! He can really only manage 3.5 hours awake before bedtime so 3/3.30pm needs to be his wake up time ideally 🤷‍♀️

I feel you - BUT you might find that if you only let him have a short nap in the morning, he'll have a longer nap at 12:30, because he'll be properly tired. He might not! My son often didn't. But, he would definitely sleep a good enough nap, like an hour and a half. He got better over time and at some point he started going two hours or more.

If my son had a nice nap at midday he could definitely stretch until bedtime at that age.

That said - sometimes some kids just have two naps for a long time still - say 1 hour in the morning, 1 in the afternoon. My DS at 2 will even do this if we take him in the car. It's how we planned days out before lockdown - drive somewhere an hour a way in the morning (he sleeps in car), drive back around 2 pm (another sleep).

It's whatever works for you, really - but like I said, nurseries do 12-2 so if you're planning to send him at some point you might want to try and get into that routine.

Hi! @Laura1609 do you remember what the solution was for your little one? My 8mo is exactly the same!!

@GBW Ooof, now you’re asking! As I recall I leaned into it and accepted he just preferred a longer morning sleep compared to afternoon. His overnight sleep wasn’t affected and that was more important to me. I’ve since gone on to have another and she was different, usually liked a longer afternoon sleep. I’d say that unless your little one’s overnight sleep is awful let them do what they prefer if they’re getting enough sleep!

This is absolute nonsense from your sleep consultant. There’s absolutely no evidence that a morning nap should be short. It’s a myth made up by ‘sleep consultants.’ Follow the sound asleep guru on Instagram, she busts these myths. I would say let your baby guide you. My DD has a long morning nap and short afternoon one but I cap all day sleep at 1.5 hours to make her tired enough for bed time.