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20 week old won't self soothe

1 reply

butterflytrain · 28/04/2020 09:25

Hi - just looking for some advice from other mums. I am feeling really low this week and not sure what to do.

My lo is almost 21 weeks. He sleeps in his own room and has always done so since he was 16 weeks. He used to be a great napper not has always been terrible at bedtime. The things I try and do are as follows

  • I make sure he has no more than 2 hours awake time before I try and put him down for a nap or if he shows any tired cues such as eye rubs etc.
  • the room has a blackout and I play white noise
  • he is swaddled - he doesn't like not being swaddled
  • I've tried giving him a feed just before he wakes up (he is ebf) and I have tried feeing just before his nap
  • his bedtime has a quick 30 min routine starting at 6 which involves feed bath time, massage, story, lullabye and then goodnight kiss.

He will not go to sleep! The only way he goes to sleep is if I rock him or feed him to sleep. I try and rock and nurse him till drowsy and then put him in his cot but as soon as his eyes open he will SCREAM the house down.

I've tried the controlled cio method and it seemed to work on the first day and he only cried a few minutes but the next day it just went on and on and I couldn't hack.

I have tried the gradual retreat (shhh and pat) which didn't work at all. I just cannot get him to self settle. If he naps or is usually for 30-40 mins Because as soon as he is out of his sleep cycle and into the next he wakes up and can't self soothe. I just don't know what to do. I feel like the more I keep rocking and feeding him to sleep the harder the association will be to break. I think I must have watched all the YouTube I can but I still am no closer. He isn't too bad at night and will usually only wake up twice for a feed and then go back to sleep.

Any advice for this tired and sad ftm would be much appreciated

Thank you

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
coffeeaddiction · 28/04/2020 09:34

I think this is pretty normal , it's frustrating but 20 weeks is still really little !
My little boy didn't start self soothing til he was about 18 months but still quite often needs a cuddle at night time or won't want me to leave him at bedtime .

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