4 month regression- how does it end?

[PaulinePetrovaPosey]

DD is deeeeeep in the 4 month regression - waking every 90 minutes and often refusing to sleep in her cot.

I can (just!) cope at the moment if I know that this is temporary, but my worry is that I have read conflicting things about how it could get better.

Some experts say it's important to not to get into bad habits during the regression, so to push back on co-sleeping ect (as I don't want to do it long term). Others say it's not the right time to make changes and you should just ride it out.

So what's your experience? Did your 4 month babies just magically get better, or did you have to work at it?

Maybe she is having a growth spurt and is hungry? Maybe she is panicking becasue she's been left alone in a cot?

4 months is still very very young and she is not behaving in a certain way to wind you up or be naughty.

I just rode it out. It lasted about 6 weeks and I was wrecked. He was waking every 45 mins at one point. It does get better and suddenly he was sleeping for 4 hours at a time again.

I didn't cosleep, just fed him or soothed him and put him back in cot. Though he did wake every 4/5 hours until about 11 months old so I'm not sure if I actually did anything right!

You can’t get 4 month old babies into ‘bad habits’. Comfort, feeding to sleep, cosleeping, cuddling them when they wake up etc etc are basic needs of a tiny human, not something that you’ll have to do for the rest of their life.

I coslept with Dd and never wore a top or bra so I could bf her back to sleep. Was never awake for more than 2 mins through any of the regressions.

At no point did the op imply in any way that they felt their baby was 'winding them up' or 'being naughty'?!

@PaulinePetrovaPosey I've just posted a 4 month regression thread too, so solidarity here! It's hard and for me the main worry is that they're not getting enough sleep when we're always told how important that is for them.

Hopefully both our babies come out the other side soon 🤞🙏😀

My Dd went back to sleeping well in 2-3 weeks but my DS’s sleep habits had to be actively changed.
Reduce all distractions, noise, light, and keep a steady room temperature.
Babies can make a lot of noise in their sleep. If your Dd starts to stir in between cycles, don’t assume she immediately needs your help. Many will fall back to sleep on their own after a few minutes if given the chance!
Your DD also needs to be able to fall asleep in the place where you expect her to sleep, so if she is currently falling asleep in your arms or the pushchair, start putting her down to sleep in the cot. A baby who falls asleep eating and being rocked will need to eat and be rocked again when she wakes up at 1 a.m., 3 a.m. and 5 a.m.
An extra long feed or adream feedbefore you head to bed might help her sleep a little longer.
To compensate for shorter naps during the day, try moving bedtime ahead. Not getting enough will make her overtired, only adding to the fussiness.

Bollocks to experts. Do what feels best for you. I hate Co-sleeping but did feed to sleep lying down in the sleep regressions occasionally (breastfeeding) and DS has only spent a handful of nights in bed with either of us when he’s been really poorly since he went into his own room at 6 months (he’s a year old now). It didn’t affect his ability to sleep independently at all.

I know that’s only me but I really think that by trying to always do the right thing parents put too much pressure on themselves and just make their lives harder. Be led by your baby and you and do why feels best. For most I think that’s whatever results in the most sleep!

I completely think each baby is different so do whatever works for you. DS is not a good sleeper during the day but is good at night. We don't do anything different at night he just sleeps better. Lots of people have advice on the "best" thing to do but they don't know your baby.

It stops when they're about 13 and don't want to wake up anymore.

I absolutely don't think she's 'being naughty'! She's gorgeous and amazing, just a baby.

TBH just riding it out is the least stressful option, as I can just go with what suits both of us rather than worrying about what I 'should' be doing. Fingers crossed we all get some proper Zs soon.

My LO improved for a week at 5 months and then sleep regressed until 6 months with 1-2 hourly wakings.

He is now 6 months and for the last week has been sleeping 7 to 7 with a wake up at 4am and 6am (and sometimes 11pm). I am not sure if this would have occured anyway as we made some changes in the last few weeks which may have helped:

• moved baby to own room and bed
• husband now puts him down awake at night rather than me
• baby is now eating a lot during day so possibly less hungry at night
• first 2 teeth have now emerged

I hope sleep will improve for you soon.

Do whatever you need to do to get sleep. Work on breaking the habits formed when they're older and out of it. No point trying to get them to sleep independently etc when they've got so many changes happening in their brain and struggling themselves to cope with it!

Tbh when they’re that age they seem to go from regression to regression. Dd didn’t sleep through till she was almost 2, whatever I tried! The path of least resistance was the easiest thing for both of us, and it meant that I didn’t go completely mad trying everything to get her to sleep.

Happy to report at 3.5 she has slept through consistently (bar illness) for 18 months and I didn’t really do anything except night wean. They get there eventually!

@PaulinePetrovaPosey first of all I love your name - I love Ballet Shoes so much!

Ignore the first reply who seems to have read a completely different post to the rest of us. Baby sleep seems to really bring out the worst in some people.

Sleep training was my way out of it for both of my kids. It's not popular on Mumsnet but babies need to learn how to sleep without being fed, bounced, rocked at some point. Co sleeping got us through the worst of it until the 6 month mark.

Ignore the silly comment OP. I bet even the Virgin Mary missed her sleep..:

We are 5.5 years in it now. Hopefully it will end soon

DD wasn't too badly affected and it didn't last long. With DS, his sleep only started improving at about 10 months and was still pretty poor until 13 months. I think for mine, the difference was DD sucked her fingers and this helped her self soothe. DS was completely reliant on feeding to get back to sleep. We tried to support him to self soothe but he just wasn't ready.

How is your son napping in the day?

Daughter* whoops! Thought is said DS.

It’s not really a regression, it’s an evolution. It helped me to think of it that way. It’s when babies’ sleep biology changes dramatically towards a more mature pattern.
It means they will naturally wake every 40-45 minutes during naps and every 90 mins to 2 hours at night. This is normal.
However if you leap in and start getting them up and feeding them and rocking them every time they wake, then that can become quite engrained behaviour in the new evolved sleep pattern. And it can last for months or longer.
Now is a really good time to get your baby used to falling asleep In their bed. That doesn’t mean leaving them to cry. You can pat them to sleep or lay a hand on them while they drift off. At this age they are much more aware of surroundings. If they fall asleep on a warm body or breast then wake alone on their back, they will understandably freak out and cry. Sleeping alone on their back is the absolute safest thing so it’s good to start out that way at the beginning of the night or nap. Then when they wake, they will know where they are and be much calmer
As a previous poster said, if they stir and grunt or squeak just leave them to it. It’s ok, they don’t need intervention.
Crying requires help, feeding or changing or checking if too hot/cold. Then back to bed in the same way as before, with your help but in bed.
This is the best way to help your baby get used to their sleep evolution. There will be another one at 8-10 months and more after that. The 4 month one is the biggest and once you’re through this, It will get easier.

I didn't know it was a thing with my first... but she didn't sleep until she was 3 anyway.

2nd baby is now well into it, we're on week 4 (I think, or 49, who l knows 😂). He forced cosleeping pretty early on so he's in with me as standard but had been doing 4/5 hour stretches at night which suddenly went to hourly waking.
The regression hit at the same time as a growth spurt too so I saw an improvement when the growth spurt was over, he's now doing a 3 hour stretch 9-12, then a 2 hour from 1-2 followed by hourly wakes until 5/5:30 before another 2 hours if DD doesn't come bouncing in to wake us up.

I'm not trying to push anything, we'll ride it out and assume it will get better before the sleep deprivation takes me. I use the wonder weeks app too, it's been pretty accurate so far for leaps and the iffy weeks.

I feel like I could written this post myself! It’s hit us hard, my daughter previously slept about 10-7 from 7 weeks ish, I’d forgotten what sleep deprivation felt like! Now we’re awake every 90 minutes or so and it varies on how easy it is to get her back down, it’s exhausting and I’m hoping it passes as I feel like a total zombie!

Please please please x 1000

Never ever worry about 'bad habits'

I always 'rode things out' with my DS and I was so stress free because of it. Do not stress. Just respond in the way that feels natural and best.

Babies are so very small for such a short period of time. I remember feeling like the regression was going on for so long, and now looking back, it was just a blip.

Some very wise words here, thank you 🙏

THANK YOU all again for your words of encouragement.

I'm touching wood as I write this, but for the last few nights DD has been sleeping 4-5hs at a stretch.

We put her in her big cot rather than the next to me - not sure whether that made a difference or whether she just decided to get better all of a sudden. Either way, I feel like a new woman.