9yr old son has developed sleep anxiety

[kindheart86]

Please help!
Son has recently started to have difficulty getting to sleep. We can be going from around 9pm-1am most evenings of him telling me he can’t sleep etc.
He has never been a bad sleeper, we have had talks in the day about sleeping, his worries etc but as soon as he knows sleep time is approaching he starts behaving in a super chatty/ clingy way which is so so unusual.
He is generally an active boy and obviously lockdown had limited usual activity so this could be a factor as well as the worry over corona etc.

But this is third night in a row where I am desperate to sleep, I’m shattered and trying so hard not to be angry with him but I need to get some sleep!
Anyone with any advice would be amazing!!
Have tried usual hot bath, milky drink, no screens before bed, even given him a spoonful of calpol as I said it will help relax him- obviously it didn’t 🙄

Can he sleep with you until his anxiety lessens?

www.fedup.com.au/factsheets/symptom-factsheets/sleep-disturbance-and-insomnia

Can be due to environmental factors such as sensitivity to perfumes in cleaning products, or additives in foods

My 9yo is exactly the same,I am trying to tire him out as much as possible during the day (Joe Wicks etc) and then waking him at his normal 8.30/8am time as usual to keep a pattern and tire him out. Also letting him sleep in with me when he really can’t get over. I figure it won’t last forever.

My 5yo DD has been doing this for a month or so. We had about a week of real anxiety, full on sobbing tears about not being able to go to sleep despite obvious signs of tiredness. She worked herself into a right state about it, despite us never shouting at her about it, and trying to help her.
I think I made it worse inadvertently as about a month ago I promised her something as a reward after a week of good bedtimes, so perhaps she was anxious she wouldn't get the reward if she couldn't get to sleep.... Poor mite.

We started sitting with her for a bit, she would like us to sit with her until she falls asleep, and rub her back, but I also have a BF baby and tbh I want a bit of time to myself in the evening!

I now do normal bedtime, read her a story, then go in again after feeding DS to sleep, then after a short chat or making up a little story I tell her I want a cup of tea but that as soon as I've finished the tea I'll come back and check on her.
Miraculously this has worked and we haven't had tears for about a week, although it still takes her ages to actually fall asleep, often still awake after 9.

I think it's lack of stimulation after finishing school, less physical activity than normal, and I think we're eating later than normal too.

Desperately trying to rejig our timings.

Hope you manage to come out the other side too. It's so frustrating, not their fault but not much parents can actively do apart from be there and make them feel reassured and loved.
Good luck

(I should add I did give her the reward, would have given it anyway but was trying to use it as an incentive )

Mine have gone through periods of this, it is maddening! I'd reassure him that this sleep problem will only be temporary and is quite normal, you just need to work together to gradually get back to normal without worrying about it (because part of his stress may be feeling like he will be stuck like this forever).

I've previously said that I will come in every 15 minutes for a quick cuddle and like the pp who nipped off for a cup of tea etc it helped enormously. I would also not put him to bed too early - start on the later end (10.30/11?) and work back to where you want to be.

www.fedup.com.au/factsheets/support-factsheets/how-to-start-failsafe-eating

To see if any link with foods he is eating and insomnia just purchase preservative free bread at bakery, and other foods recommended and follow for a week

My son did this age 9 a couple of years ago (he's 11 now). Massive anxiety as soon as dinner was over he would start telling me how he wouldn't be able to sleep that night. It went on for 10 Mosander for 8 of those I slept in his bed which I still can't work out if it was the right thing to do or not but it did stop him being so upset! He ended up seeing a counsellor who said that there wasn't anything wrong and that we needed to be tougher so we were and he started sleeping again. He started again just before Christmas and a friend recommended Magnesium tablets which have been brilliant (got them from Amazon), he takes two about 20mins before bedtime then I spray his pillow with sleep spray and off he goes. I'm not expecting it to work forever but for now it's ok.

That should say 10 months and for 8 of those not Mosander! 🤷‍♀️

What magnesium tablets did you try?
I’m at my wits end
7y old keeps son waking in the night - falls asleep ok initially as we have a good bedtime routine.
He’s always been a light sleeper and generally quite an anxious child but Since lockdown he’s waking 3-10 times a night, calling out and struggling to get back to sleep.
We are separated parents and he sleeps badly at both houses but ex co-sleeps with him to get back to sleep which isn’t an option here. Ex doesn’t work so can rest in the daytime if needed but I work and my partner is NHS so sleep disturbance is having a massive impact on all of us and our work.

Magnesium citrate is more easily absorbed, ,check child dose, crush 1/2 tablet with honey. Try epsom salts bath
www.amazon.co.uk/Worry-Dolls-Set-colorful-bag/dp/B007MAI25Q?tag=mumsnetforu03-21
Child tips all worry dolls out of cloth bag, says one thing s/he is worried about to each doll, places back in bag, under pillow. The dolls will keep each worry safe for the night.

Night light/ lamp
Let Pet sleep in room if u have pet

Exercise exercise exercise

Make the walk of the day really activate. Encourage him to run etc. Online work outs. Out in the garden as much as possible. Really stretch him physically. All round benefit and you’ll see his sleep improve

We’ve been doing lots of exercise and it’s not making a difference- trampoline 2mile bike rides etc

We are using these ones: Kids Magnesium Sublingual 60 Tablets for Anxiety, Sleep, Ticks. Vegan Magnesium Citrate for Children. Made by Health4All www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07S85F8JJ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_yEuPEbX7GXN8Z?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

He takes 2 about 20 min before sleep, I’m not sure if they actually work or if they have a bit of a placebo effect on him but either way he is now sleeping.

Thank you - I ordered those in desperation last night

Personally I think fat fat too early to be thinking of sleep supplements for a 9 year old. Early in terms of his age and how long the problem has been going on for

far far

Weve had the same issue here with almost 7 year old. Hes always been a really good sleeper so it was really out of character.
Weve tried putting him to bed earlier, putting him to bed later, trying to figure out if hes worried, being really caring, being more harsh, rewards, punishments.
I was completely withered.
For a finish we told him if he cant act like a big boy he cant have big boy toys like his Nintendo switch, and we'd have to take the switch away. Suddenly when he heard this, he stayed up in his room when put to bed and stopped coming down 100 times and stopped the crying. When I check on him after half an hour of him being up there he is in a deep sleep.

My dds have been struggling with sleep.
I use the Deep Sleep pillow spray by This Works and it seems to help.
Also going back to an earlier bedtime routine, in terms of how it was when they were smaller - hot milk, or reading aloud etc, I think it is comforting in such anxious times.

Another one with the same issue and I have had some success using magnesium tablets (same brand as mentioned in one of the above posts) and also a child-friendly magnesium body lotion which smells lovely and is a nice part of the wind down routine to introduce in.

I would advise that you remove all pressure from your son to go to sleep - tell him that it is fine if he doesn’t sleep straight away, that he can just catch up with a snooze tomorrow. Remove any clocks from his room if he has them, and try to get him to listen to something soothing as he lies in bed. We use various audiobooks and child meditation cds for my son which to date have worked well. He knows that he can lie in bed and listen to them and that there is no pressure to actually fall asleep. Just telling him that alone made a big difference.

As an aside, if either of my dc have food containing msg sleep becomes a real issue.

Lots of us are low in magnesium apparently. You can buy salts to throw in the bath. I seem to sleep better when I use them.
www.victoriahealth.com/product/Magnesium-Oil-Original-Flakes/8697
They also sell the Deep Sleep pillow spray.