11 months old, still up 2 hourly. Naps rare.

[Thesepreciousthings]

I'm at my wits end so really looking for some advice. I'm a first time mum and utterly frazzled.

My 11 month old often wakes hourly through the night. 2 hourly most of the time. In 7 months he has not slept for longer than 4 hours. Some nights, we manage 4 hours total.

He is a dreadful napper. If I am lucky I get an hour here and there, usually on me or for short bursts in the pushchair. He is breastfed and very boob motivated.he won't take a bottle. He is exceptionally clingy and needy.

Cows milk allergy was ruled out early on and HV says he should have grown out of reflux. To the best of our knowledge, there are no physical illnesses.

I have coslept but it does make me a bit anxious. I still do here and there but some nights I need my space. My son wants to be on me all day, sometimes I need to sleep without being touched!

CIO isn't for me, at all. I'm uncomfortable with sleep training. Last week, I put him down for 5 minutes while he cried, in the same room as me, while I tried to do some cooking. He cried till he vomited. I can't purposefully let him get that distressed.

I
Does anyone have any advice? Or solidarity? I am desperate to know if there is a gentle way of helping him to sleep for longer stretches. I don't expect through the night but just longer periods of time.

Thanks ladies

I am not sure how much longer my health can sustain this frequent

When he wakes up in the night, do you BF back to sleep?

My son was also an appalling sleeper, particularly during the day and was exclusively BF. As soon as I made the switch to bottles at 7 months (out of sheer exhaustion) he was like a different baby.

I know you said he won't take a bottle but it's worth persevering with this to see if it makes a difference. I found that mine was not waking during the night because he was hungry, he was just very attached to BF

Sorry to hear this.

Do you have a routine? Do you BF?

I'm going through this with my 9 month old. It's hell. She's bf but not fed to sleep and I am only feeding her once in the night (at about 1am). Made no jot of difference, still wakes up 6 times a night. She eats loads during the day, great bedtime routine since she was 8 weeks old. had reflux and that is much better, but she still wakes up. My mental health is really suffering, I cry more than she does of a night. Sending and and valium!

I am in the same boat with my 9 mo. Wakes constantly throughout the night, nothing but the boob settles him and I give in every time because I'm too exhausted to let him "cry it out". I'm at my wits end! Sorry I don't have any advice to offer just thought I'd let you know you're not alone 😊💓

I was in the same boat with my DS, waking every 2 hours for a breast feed and a terrible napper.

I decided my sanity couldn't take anymore. He point blank refused a bottle (and I'm still BF at 13 months).

But I stopped his morning nap, didn't even bother attempting to put him down, brought his lunch forward to 11am and then down for a nap at 11.30. He naps for about 2-2.5 hours now.

Then I point blank stopped going into him at night. It was hard to leave him to cry, but the first night he cried for about an hour over the course of the night and put himself back to sleep. The second night was 30 minutes and night three no issues.

That was two months ago and I feel human again!

It's hard, and letting them cry isn't for everyone but I was exhausted. Good luck!

My nearly 1 yr old is similar. I also bf and don’t want to sleep train so mainly offering a bit of solidarity! Things that have helped a bit are trying to get a bit of a nap routine in place - HV suggested doing these tough bits during the day first, when you’ve got a bit more energy and focus - I did similar to moleeye above and just powered through some tiredness and crying in the mornings to at least get one after lunch nap going at the same time every day. He did cry for a few minutes for the first 2/3 days but I’d made the decision and just comforted him as best I could and now he understands the routine and usually is much calmer. It’s often still only 30 minutes but sometimes an hour, and I stopped feeding him to sleep for this, shushed and patted instead. I’ve then basically encouraged him to eat as much food as possible (!) and when confident he’s not hungry, I have managed to get him to sleep at night without bf - doesn’t always work but sometimes it does. His night sleep has been gradually improving since. I have an older ds and his sleep was similarly crap but from about age 2 became pretty much perfect, so i have the benefit of knowing that it does get better, and I can cope. In the meantime fresh air and cake!