They are breaking me. I am a single parent to three lovely DDs 5,3,22months. Historically everyone’s slept ok, but I’ve co slept with them all til about a year, then there’s a fair amount of creeping into my bed since. The last few months I’ve been ill and not had the physical strength to put them back in their beds, and we all need the cuddles.
The problem is my middle girl is incredibly stubborn and frankly naughty about bedtime- she was keeping her big sister awake too late, so I’ve moved them so the oldest/youngest share, but she’s up and down, screaming shouting arguing and general faffing and mucking about until she Wears herself out and finally caves in, usually after tears and goes to sleep but only if I lay in bed with her At about 9. This has meant that in order to get dd1 and dd3 enough sleep I have been putting them to bed first, then battling dd2. Dd1 feels this is very unfair because she thinks she should get cuddles in her bed too. Also means I have absolutely no 1:1 time with my big girl, as that half hour after dd2 and 3 were in bed was our big girl time last year before she went to school. It’s much worse if dd2 naps even for 10-15miNutes, and I try and stop her. Its all come to a head tonight because I got incredibly angry at them messing about- essentially both competing for attention and trying to put off going to bed.
I have apologised for losing my temper, given everyone cuddles and I’ve told them we are going to have a family meeting tomorrow to agree a new bedtime routine (this strategy has worked well in the past, as makes them feel invested) as the current one isn’t working, so every night we end up fighting/angry/upset, dd2 doesn’t go to sleep til 8.30-9 and wales at 6.30 like clockwork, and mostly doesn’t actually need a nap. Not to mention I end up so fraught because I get no evening.
Currently dd3 bed at 6.30-6.45 while dd1+2 have 20minutes tv/kindle/playing, then dd2+3 have teeth/stories and dd2 goes to bed at 7.15 and I end up being up there for about 20minutes until I basically leave her and start persuafing dd1 to go to bed- she won’t let me go, wants cuddles, faffs, whinges, complains its not fair because dd2 gets more cuddles (she’s right). It’s then like whack a mole for at least an hour until they are all asleep, by which time I’m knackered and miserable.
What time should the 3yr old be going to bed? What do I do?!?!?