Help!! Using toilet as a stalling tactic (I think!)

[fandangofandango]

Hoping someone can help

We potty trained my 2.5 yr old a couple of weeks ago - she took to it very quickly and now has no accidents, tells us when she needs to go etc. She's still wearing a nappy for her nap (1-3pm) and overnight (she usually sleeps 8ish to 7ish)

However for the last week I think she's been using the toilet as a stalling tactic at bedtime, and now at nap time too. We put her on the toilet before naps and at bedtime she goes before bath and after her bath.

Without fail she'll say "wee wee poo poo" when she has pyjamas and nappy on so I will take her to the toilet again - a lot of the time she'll do a wee or a poo then too so fair enough.

But this is where it starts - we'll go back into her bedroom and she'll say she wants to go again! I normally will do it once more and be very boring when we're in the bathroom but often she'll be messing around (trying to put her hands down toilet bowl etc) and says she doesn't want to get off and she still needs to go. I'll give her a little while but then I'll take her off (during the day she will go to the toilet as soon as she sits on the toilet so I don't think there's a problem there).

Then the almighty tantrum starts! Screaming, hitting, trying to bang her head .. I have no chance of getting the nappy back on. Eventually she calms down (1 hour usually) but at that point I'm at my wits end.

Can anyone offer any advice on how I can do this differently? I've tried us saying goodnight to the toilet!! I'm hoping it's another one of those stages but I have no clue how long it'll last.

I wondered if I needed to shorten her nap, but we had no problems before this (other than the usual stages of not wanting to go to bed occasionally!) so reluctant to do that too quickly.

Help!!!!

My dc are older teens now, and I am from another culture so I am sure someone will be here with better advice in a minute but I would get a potty in her room next to the bed for night time and get rid of the night nappy. Let her have her story etc then 'one last try' on the potty before bed which removes the novelty of the toilet and opportunity for messing around.

@fuckinghellthisshit thanks for the reply! We're not ready to give up the night time nappy yet as it's got quite a few wee's in it in the morning. Won't be long before we can do the nap time one though I don't think as sometimes it's dry - but still a bit too soon!

She won't use the potty, we went straight to a normal toilet but she refused to go on a potty ...!!

We’re potty training now and DS is 2y2m. In your shoes I’d get a potty for the bedroom and after the “final wee” that’s her only option. Either she’ll go or more likely refuse and then you switch the focus back to bed. But at least then she’s clothed and in her room for the tantrum...!

I’d also explain very clearly, 1 more wee on the potty or bed. Choose. Okay, mummy is going now, I love you, kiss, shut the door. Then return with a firm “stop shouting, it’s bedtime now” every 10-15 mins. You’ll have 2-3 unpleasant evenings but you’ll stamp it out.

@Goostacean Thank you! Got to be firm I think :)

I reckon so. I mean, DS is still in the cot and doesn’t try to climb out (only recently moved from sleeping bag to duvet) so it’s easier, but I reckon the trick is to be strict and not out up with it- otherwise you’ll have months of bedtime battles and possibly toilet-related nonsense too. Sometimes they try this kinda stuff on, don’t they?! 😂

DD did something similar at that age. We just night trained her and she didnt have a nappy anymore. Put pjs on, brush teeth, read, the whole bedtime routine, then put her on the toilet.
As soon as she was in bed "Mummy! Need water!"
So we let her drink some water.
1min later "Mummy! Need toilet!"
So she goes to the toilet. Rinse and repeat. When i told her no more, biggest tantrum ever. Lasted anywhere from 10mins to 1h
It didnt matter if she drank/peed once or 10x, as soon as i told her no more, she got really cross.
For us it was 'just a phase' lasted about 3months.
We just stuck to a routine. Told her she can drink water when brushing her teeth and use the toilet after reading one last time, but thats it. And we just stuck with that and didnt let her come out anymore after that.
She just stopped complaining one day.

@Jeleste oh no, 3 months...!