1 month old won't sleep

[weedie]

My 1 month old DD is really difficult to settle to sleep at any time of day. She'll usually fall asleep half way through a feed (I exclusively breastfeed and she's a good feeder in general) and I have to tickle her relentlessly to stay awake. She'll then wake up when I burp her and won't go down for a nap despite having been sleepy on the boob. She'll stay awake getting increasingly fussy until the next feed, while we try everything to get her to sleep - baby carrier, walks in the pram, gentle rocking, dark room with white noise, more feeding, etc. This pattern repeats itself every day after every feed. It's slightly better at night as she can sleep for an hour or so at a time but she often half wakes up and makes a grizzling noise for ages and we don't know what it means. She doesn't seem hungry and doesn't need a nappy change. She sleeps for about 4 hours between 7pm and 7am.

We are so confused and exhausted - and worried that our LO isn't getting anywhere enough sleep and this could be affecting her development! Could she have some sort of colic/wind that upsets her throughout the day? We always burp her after a feed but she doesn't seem to burp much. Or is she just a child that doesn't need much sleep!? We don't mind so much about the day but we'd love to get her sleeping better at night.

Thanks in advance for any advice!

All of this can be caused by a tongue tie, even a posterior one that can be easily missed. Do you think she might have one?

You may need to keep holding her. Have you tried sitting in a reclining chair and putting her on your chest or using the chair or pillows to support her weight?

Why can't she fall asleep while breastfeeding? Seems like a nightmare to force her to stay awake throughout a feed then try and put her down. She could nap during a breastfeed then if she needs more milk she'll probably have a bit more when she wakes up. Your post reads a little like you have a bit of a breastfeeding schedule, are you trying to follow a routine? I might be misunderstanding.

At night when she doesn't seem hungry, what does she do when you offer her milk? Does she feed much at night?

I wouldnt tickle her to keep her awake, just let her fall asleep on the breast. How do you know shes halfway through a feed and not had enough? My DD used to feed for only 10 minutes then fall asleep and only ever had one side - they dont necessarily do the "20 minutes on each side" that health visitors seem to want.

Also if she is asleep and seems comfortable, you don't have to burp her.

All this is completely normal and you will get used to it. Google the 4th trimester and download the wonder weeks app. Newborns are meant to be put down and left to sleep. Let baby sleep on you whilst breastfeeding, they love the cuddles and feel safe. Look at co sleeping (I could never do it)

Think about it. For nine months baby has been safe and warm inside you with your heart beat an body noise to comfort them. Then they pop out and we expect them to conform to society's norms. It's not going to happen. The 4th trimester explains all this.

It's hard, it's the hardest thing you do. But you will get used to it. I'm 15 months into a baby that still wakes 6/8 times a night on a normal night but just wait until developmental leaps and teething starts.

I agree with everyone else, don’t wake her up! Feed on demand. If she falls asleep, all good. Just feed her again when she wakes up if she’s hungry.

Nothing you’ve described isn’t completely normal. 4 weeks ago she was still inside you. She’s used to feeling you and heAring your heart every minute of every day. Let he fall asleep feeding and carry on holding her when she’s asleep. And enjoy it!

Second that, try letting her fall asleep when she is feeding. See how that goes. But if not look into tongue tie.

Thanks so much everyone! I think based on your responses I'll try leaving her to sleep on the boob when she drifts off or maybe carefully move her to her cot (if I have some essential chores to do or need to sleep). And I'll stop burping her after she falls asleep during feeding as I don't think she's very windy anyway. I don't have a breastfeeding schedule, but have been trying to give her a bigger feed at about 10pm in the hope it allows her to sleep for a few hours in the night. I don't think she has tongue tie as she is doing a lot of wet and dirty nappies and has put on a decent amount of weight - also when she does feed she seems very content and I can hear lots of swallowing! I think she is just sad when she leaves my warm body and has to go in a cold cot - definitely sounds like the fourth trimester explanation.

I love the milk drunk cuddles so happy to have her sleep on me, but I hope in a few months she is able to settle in her cot as that'll free me up to get some housework/sleep in!

xx