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Sleep

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Original poster

2 year old coming into our bed

21 replies

HarrietM87 · 15/04/2020 19:36

My son has just turned 2. He goes to sleep ok (we have to stay in the room but he falls asleep by himself with us just sitting in there silently), but most nights (maybe 5 per week) he’ll wake at anything between midnight and 5am and say he wants to come into our bed. We always just carry him in and he will usually sleep straight away.

I’m basically fine with this, but I’m pregnant again and don’t want it to happen when the new baby is here as planning to EBF and if it’s anything like the Velcro baby my DS was will probably co-sleep as well (have a next2me but it went unused!) which could be dangerous for the new one if DS comes in and squishes it!

So does anyone have any advice on how to stop this? We’ve never done any kind of sleep training on him before. His language/understanding is excellent. He’s still in a cot atm. Baby is due early November when he’ll be 2.5 so plenty of time to work on this!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

eatthepineapple · 15/04/2020 19:41

No idea but we have the exact same situation with our DD and we are thinking of trying for no.2 and no idea how it will work! If I put her back into her bed she just sneaks back in with us (we took the side off as it was actually less disturbing for us as she could just bring herself in rather than us having to go and get her!!)

I bought a gro clock from recommendations but she doesn't really understand it yet, though to be fair we haven't tried that hard to get her too!

ScarfLadysBag · 15/04/2020 19:42

Can you fit a mattress on floor beside your bed as an intermediate step?

Original poster

HarrietM87 · 15/04/2020 19:43

How old is your little one @eatthepineapple? I’ve been thinking of doing the same with DS’s cot but then feel like that could make it even harder! He could probably easily climb out but is still in gro bags and hasn’t realised yet thankfully.

Have heard good things about the gro clock.

OP posts:

Original poster

HarrietM87 · 15/04/2020 19:44

@ScarfLadysBag I could but I’m not sure what that would really achieve? I feel like he would like that just as much and I’d then have to sleep on a mattress on the floor instead of my comfy bed!

OP posts:

ScarfLadysBag · 15/04/2020 19:46

I mean a mattress for him, you don't share it! But just being in the same room at first might be enough.

Original poster

HarrietM87 · 15/04/2020 19:48

Ha yes that makes much more sense 🤣! Maybe that is worth a try!

OP posts:

KellyHall · 15/04/2020 19:49

We bought dd a very small present for each night she stayed in her room all night (basically cleaned out Poundland). It lasted a couple of months. Eventually she just stopped asking for anything and I didn't remind her! She's 3 now and only wants in our bed if she's had a nightmare or feeling poorly, she also now understands the gro clock 👍

Thesearmsofmine · 15/04/2020 19:50

My ds2 used to do this and when I had ds3 I used a next to me crib, so ds3 was safe in the crib and ds2 just went in the middle or other side of the bed away from ds3 with me (and DH when he wasn’t on nights) between them. Shortly after ds3 was born he stopped doing it anway(he was around 3.5 by then.

forrestgreen · 15/04/2020 19:53

I know I sound harsh but what happens if you say no. Say mummy's belly is too big for us all to sleep well so as you're a big boy you'll sleep in your room.
It's fine to say no.

Kittykat93 · 15/04/2020 19:53

My son is the same age and has been doing this for about six months now. I have to sit in the room till he's fast asleep. And then he wakes up anytime from 12 onwards and just says mummys bed until I bring him in. I don't sleep as well with him in the bed so would like him to stay in his own room, but how do I do it? Ive tried just sitting on his floor like I do at bedtime and it's ended up a 2 and a half hour battle which quite honestly I just can't face in the middle of the night.

Hoping you get some wise answers op

Maltay · 15/04/2020 19:55

Watching with interest as will hopefully be in the same boat

Mylittlepony374 · 15/04/2020 19:56

The mattress on floor is good idea. I have 19 months between my kids and the first always slept with me. She did a lot of "camping" when baby 2 came along. Camping on mattress in mums room, camping on sofa in sitting room while he clusterfed.. ..it worked well for us.

Original poster

HarrietM87 · 15/04/2020 19:58

@forrestgreen when I’ve said no before it’s led to full on screaming meltdowns and tbh I can’t be bothered with that at 4am so I appreciate it’s really all my fault. I’d like to try something gentler first though, and ideally soon so he doesn’t associate it with the new baby.

@KellyHall sounds like could be worth a try, thanks!

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ParkheadParadise · 15/04/2020 19:58

Dd still comes into our bed sometimes and she 4. I was take her back to her own bed because she is a complete fidget and I can't sleep for her.
She now comes in and crawls round to dh's side of the bed and gets in that way🤣🤣

crazycatbaby · 15/04/2020 20:01

No idea, I have a three and half year old who sneaks in our bed most nights 🤷🏻‍♀️😂combined with a baby in the bedside crib, there's not a lot of room 😂

newmumagainn · 15/04/2020 20:01

Gosh, this could have been me writing the post!

2.5 year old DS, and one month old baby. DS was just like yours, would go to sleep in his cot without any trouble, and then woke in the night and would cuddle up in our bed. We also have the Chico Next to Me and I'm EBF too.

We had a plan to have DH stay on the sofa bed in DS1s room when he woke up to make sure he was staying in his cot all night. However, it ended up DH, DS1, me and DS2 in the bed almost straight away...! I was awake feeding nearly all night anyway lol, and DS2 has taken to the next to me when he does sleep between feeds, which DS1 never did.

Anyway, DS1 has now asked to stay in his cot at night, as DS2 makes so much noise in the night, squeaking and burping and trumping and whatever else... DS1 finds it very funny but told us it wakes him all night. You might get lucky too? Otherwise, it's not the end of the world if you're all in together :)

newmumagainn · 15/04/2020 20:03

I know where you're coming from though- a new baby is a lot of change anyway for a toddler, I also didn't want toddler to be out of the bed to make space for the new baby and him to feel left out.

anonymouse · 15/04/2020 20:07

My just turned 2 DS is similar. He used to sleep through just fine but for a couple of months he's been wanting to sleep in our bed in the middle of the night.
We noticed recently that he is increasingly fussy going to sleep in his cot but if we let him sleep in the spare room (double bed) he's okay and for the past few nights he's started to sleep through there. I guess he's probably grown out of his cot.

ICantBelieveInYou · 15/04/2020 20:10

Our toddler was like this and we had similar worries when our 2nd was born. What we did was put a double mattress in DC1's room, then whenever he woke up and came to our room, instead of him getting into our bed, my DH would go back to his room with him and they'd sleep there until morning.

Bit unconventional maybe, but kept newborn safe and meant toddler didn't get woken up by the newborn too.

RedLemon · 15/04/2020 20:12

We got DD1 a chair bed- one of those foam ones that unfolds onto the floor. She picked one with aliens on it. Did the job while DD2 was teeny. Occasionally DH used to clamber into her own bed with her if she wasn’t keen on the floor-sleeping. At other times we’d all be in our bed- I just made sure DD2 and I were cocooned on one side with the co-sleeper cot as our overspill zone and DD1 was tucked up with DH on his side.

Now (ages 3&5) we range from just me and DH, to all four of us in the bed for some part of most nights! Thank God we invested in a superking! (I secretly love it though)

eatthepineapple · 16/04/2020 19:53

Sorry for the delay @HarrietM87. She turned 2 in December. Can't remember when we took the side off her cot, possibly around October? We figured it wouldn't be long before she started climbing out and we wanted to avoid that as it would be dangerous. She also wore a gro bag before but we changed to a toddler duvet at the same time. I thought it would help to get her interested in the bed more, which worked on and off.

This thread has prompted me to try the gro clock more seriously though, we spoke about it more tonight so fingers crossed!

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