15 weeks and only sleeps on me

[Anna783426]

My daughter is 15 weeks and we're feeling a bit overwhelmed by sleep and evening time routine. We're finding she's getting over tired and having a nightly meltdown with wailing an tears which is pretty upsetting for everyone. I'd love for her to ideally have an early evening routine and then nap in her moses basket, but at the moment as soon as I put her down she is wide awake and unhappy at being put down. I've tried "awake but dozing", white noise, rocking in the crid but she's not having any of it. For now, I let her sleep on me which means I'm upstairs with a sleeping baby from 7.30pm onwards, which perhaps selfishly is not where I'd like to be. I know it's not forever etc, I'm just worried that if she only sleeps on me now we are creating problems later on?

As long as we co-sleep she sleeps really well over night.

I feel your pain! It's really difficult those early weeks... You say she gets very over tired, what's her napping like during the day? And where does she nap (on you, pram, Moses basket)? And finally, how do you feel about Co-sleeping? Is it something you are happy to do, if it is getting good sleep for you all? I am just thinking if you are happy, you could let her sleep on you downstairs (in front of the tv!) in the evening. That way you still get you time, but can carry her up to Co-sleep with you at night. But obviously if you aren't happy Co-sleeping, then that won't work!

Thanks for your reply hodgepodge! I'm happy cosleeping because she seems to sleep so well (meaning I do too!) I'd just really like her to be able to fall asleep independently too - in the day she sleeps in the sling or in the pram if we go out for a walk, or on me. I've been pretty happy with her on me in the evening whilst we watch a bit of TV but then she seemed to be getting distracted by the screen which I thought was contributing to her being over tired and wailing when we go up to bed. I suspect I need to be better and getting her to sleep in her cot during the day so it's more normal during the evening? She used to have a really good hour nap each morning in her cot but that has gradually gone out the window...

My first was like this. From about this age until 6 months I just went with basically being upstairs from 7/7.30 every night to try and get him used to being in a dark room and having a bedtime routine

He’d spend the first part of the evening on me and then the next (from about 10.30) in his bed next to me.

Yes it was a pain and yes quite isolating for me and my DH who would do dinner, tidy up etc but it’s really helped DS get into a bedtime routine and it meant at 6 months I could put him down in his bed for a couple of hours and start to get a bit of my evening back

Just seen your latest update

R.e naps. DS was the same and only slept on me for naps until about 4.5 months. At that point I started rolling him off me and onto our bed and I’d stay with him. Eventually this progressed into him falling asleep independently next to me and then eventually in his bed with me rubbing his back

It does happen eventually. Just to what works for you

Will she sleep on you downstairs? That's what we used to do with DS until about 6 months. He'd fall asleep on me, I'd watch whatever TV I fancied, read a book or whatever, then carry him up to bed around 9/10 depending on when I felt "done" for the evening. Moving would often wake him, so I'd do a quick change of his nappy (in the dark), quick breastfeed and he'd go down in his next to me crib for the rest of the night. Not that he slept through at that age, far from it! But it's a bit young for most babies to be establishing any kind of routine

Thanks for all the replies - very reassuring we're not the only ones. I'll keep on rolling with it and trying to keep sane in the process. I think my social media has been bombarded with sleep program advertising recently which makes me feel I should have an angelically sleeping baby by now!

Haha so many myths about babies! 15 weeks is still so tiny and I bet such a small percentage babies of this age sleep well! I noticed a big difference around 4.5 months (we seemed to have a sleep progression not regression but maybe because his sleep was so bad!) so keep on persevering! If I could do it all again I would focus on a good awareness of awake time during the day (follow babies tired signs for naps, not times), so the baby doesn't get over tired. I would also focus on getting a really solid bed time routine in early. I love what Willow said - about just accepting her evening was lost to sitting in a dark room but now her baby is in a great routine at 6m. I remember reading these early weeks are about getting through it in any way possible. All sleep is teaching the baby something about what sleep is and how to do it. Then as they settle into a bit of a routine around 4-5 months you can try and reduce the sleep crutches (we got rid of the dummy at 6months, and it was the best division!). Then past 6 months you will hopefully have set them up with good habits and can focus more on self settling. That's the idea anyway

When you say you rolled the baby off you, what position were you both in when he slept on you?
My baby only sleeps on me in one position so I'm looking for ideas :)
@Willow4987

@levelly so I’d walk around bouncing him until he was asleep, then I’d lie on our bed with him lying on my chest. Then once I knew he was properly asleep, I’d just sort of roll onto my side so that he’d roll off me onto his back on the bed.

Obviously I was holding him when doing this.

Eventually he got used to just lying next to me and falling asleep himself