Help!

[Nc1468]

DH and I are at our wit's end!
DS is 7 months old and slept through the night from 8 weeks until about a month ago. Since then his sleep has just got worse and worse.

We've been trying since 7:30 this evening to get him to sleep with no luck. He's either screaming like someone is trying to murder him or laughing and rolling around - honestly not sure which one is worse! He is really difficult to get to nap in the day as well and constantly fights it, some days were lucky if he sleeps half an hour during the day.

We're exhausted. He was bad in our room so we thought maybe we were keeping him awake and he was a light sleeper, so moved him into his room which has been absolutely awful. We bought a Ewan the dream sheep which makes very little difference.

I honestly don't know what to do. This is affecting my relationship with my husband as we're both so tired all the time were snapping at each other and barely spend any time together. He's been furloughed now so we're taking it in turns during the day to have a nap and half an hour to ourselves but we can't carry on like this.

Any suggestions?

So many questions. How’s the temperature in his room? Would he feed to sleep? How many hours typically do you get of him sleeping in a 24 hour period if you added it all up ? Does he wear a sleeping bag?

He’s almost certainly overtired with hardly any daytime sleep at that age (as are you, no doubt!). Mine was always and still is at 3 a really shit sleeper so here’s my tips for survival:

1. Survive. Literally whatever it takes. Easy meals, low standards of housework, prioritising things which make you happy while maintaining the most basic levels of clean and fed. This includes time to yourself.

1. Alternate and work in shifts. There are 2 of you. At the absolute worst when DS slept in 40 minute chunks we did 3 hours on and 3 hours off when not working. If at work, shifts were 4-5 hours each overnight so each of us got an uninterrupted chunk of sleep.

1. Nap like your life depends on it because it does. I am famed for being able to fall asleep anytime, anywhere, no matter what is going on. My only rule is that I do not ever fall asleep holding a baby or an alcoholic drink.

1. White noise. Ewan is shit he’s not loud enough. Sacrifice the worst piece of tech in your house to the goddesses of 10 hour baby white noise on YouTube at a volume you can’t believe is ok.

1. Realistically to break the cycle of overtired horror behaviour you need to get the baby to nap. A sling is excellent for this purpose but literally just find what your demon baby likes and go with it, they need soooo much sleep when they’re small and the less they have the more they fight. I used to find I needed to actually time DS to a certain extent because he just wouldn’t sleep beyond a certain point so it was better to pre-empt; usually around 3 hours after waking up and he was MUCH easier to get to sleep rather than waiting for signs of tiredness.

Sending all the luck and in the world it is so hard but be kind to yourselves and remember this too shall pass

Hiya,
The gro egg says 22, we've opened the window a little to let it cool down. We live in the countryside so very little outside noise.

I've never fed him to sleep, the trouble is even when he goes to sleep he doesn't stay asleep so I'd have to feed him every hour or so!

Yes to sleeping bag, he's in a 1 tog ATM

So every day is different, but going off today he woke at 6am and has napped a total of 1.5 hours during the day, not all in one go, and we've been trying since 7:30pm to get him to go to sleep with no luck yet.

So he’s had 7.5 hours sleep in the last 24 hours. Definitely overtiredness issues then. Has there been any change in routine? They can go through sleep regressions when they learn a new skill and they can last a while. I’m afraid I haven’t got any other practical advice other than reading up on overtired babies.

@BadgertheBodger thank you so much ❤️

I'm so not used to this, he was such a good sleeper!! My husband isn't at work ATM so we're doing one night each, it's his night tonight but I'm still awake!! He's just constant, he never stops and it's a constant battle to get him to sleep. The only way I can get him to have even half an hour during the day is to put him in my bed and put Ewan right next to his head, but then he wants to roll over and play so I have to hold both of his hands so he can't, and if we're lucky he'll sleep 30ish mins.

This can't be good for him and it's definitely not good for us, he must be over tired but he doesn't really act like it, I've come downstairs to get a drink and I can hear him laughing away upstairs x

@LouiseTrees up until now we've been very much baby led but I do try to not leave it more than 2 hours before attempting to get him to nap during the day. Things are different in that we don't go to any baby groups now and dad is home all day every day whereas usually it's just me and him as DH is at work.

I think he's really close to crawling, could that be a problem?

It could maybe be that. Lots of practicing and not wanting to miss out. On the other hand it could just be a non sensical regression. I think the other poster gave some good advice on how to cope in the interim.

Close to any kind of milestone can mean a sleep regression but honestly if he’s only slept 7.5 out of 24 it’s most likely overtiredness. My best advice on that is to be the most boring humans he could ever have the misfortune to encounter. Make it dark (proper dark, no Ewan lights, stars etc) and just sit with him. I used to sit with mine for 2 bloody hours sometimes, in total silence (nodding off myself!!) just so he could hear me breathing and relax enough to sleep. I didn’t touch him, just sat close to the cot. They get so easily overstimulated it’s a nightmare. Use soft, low voices when it’s nap time and make it as dark as you can. At night keep it v dark and for nappy changes or feeds use the minimum possible amount of light.

For right now, would you be comfortable sticking him in your bed? You might all at least get some sleep. DS was never in my bed at all, then hit 10 months and was there for the next year but is now fast asleep in his own room in his own bed

I’ve just read “the no cry sleep solution” by Elizabeth Pantley. It’s the first thing I’ve read with lots of actual practical advice, and also explains a lot about how much sleep they need and how to achieve it.
I feel your pain! DS 14 months has never been a good sleeper, but we are starting to nail naps and this week has started to sleep a little better. My one walk of the day is spent getting him to nap, hood of buggy completely covering him and walk til he drifts off!

Just seen you said staying asleep is an issue, that’s a classic overtired thing because they don’t go into the deeper sleep cycle. I realise that doesn’t make it easier right now but it’s the most likely explanation

Also could be teething? DS was definitely worse at that age for about 3 weeks until his first teeth came through. I started co-sleeping then as working FT and couldn’t cope with being up literally every hour!

Bouncer chair, sling, pram, car... all useful tools for motioning and cajooling a baby to sleep in the first place. To break the waking up too quick cycle I've literally slept upright on the couch with one foot on the bouncer ready to bounce again as soon as they stir

We gave up around 2am and had him in our bed. Slept til 6. So we've had 4 hours. I don't like him in our bed but needs must! I'm gonna speak to the HV tomorrow.

@MilkLady02 he's got his bottom two already, could he be getting more at 7 months? I'm meant to be going back to work soon so god knows what's going to happen (although at the moment who knows if I'll have a job to go back to - separate issue!)

@BadgertheBodger thank you 😊 I don't understand why they don't just sleep if they're tired, I would 😂 I think today I'm going to try and put him down for a nap every two hours and see what happens, can't be worse than last night! He's really close to crawling so I don't think that's helping, it's all he wants to do!

@Nc1468 Yes, likely due upper incisors soon (although it can vary by a couple of months). You might be able to feel two tooth shaped bumps on the gums just under the upper lip. Keep going with the napping! Good luck!

4 hours, ouch! Hope today goes better. He really must be exhausted so fingers crossed you can get some naps cracked today, it helps so much with night time sleep if they get decent day time sleep (weirdly!) I’d definitely be trying the pram or sling on a long walk (one of you goes, the other has an hour to nap/time alone, then swap).