Extended breastfeeding - sibling jealousy - should I just stop?

[BlackKittyKat]

Advice desperately needed!

I have a three month baby and a three year old girl. I am ebf little one - all going well, good weight gain etc.

Prior to having DS, I had got DD down to just a morning feed. However, when DS was born she saw him feeding and wanted more. For an easy life and because I had plenty of milk, I let her. It started to become a problem - she was waking multiple times as well as the newborn and so I stopped night feeds for her.

I've got day feeds down to maybe three a day but she's constantly asking for it and tantruming and finding it really difficult.

I've not weaned as I find the tantrums hard and I've read a lot about how going cold turkey is hard on them. But at the moment it's a constant battle and that seems hard on her.

What would you do? Cold turkey wean? Any other solution?

Anyone been in this situation?

Sorry for lack of paragraphs.

My phone doesn't do paragraphs apparently.

Except then to show me up!

Cold turkey wean is your only real option. Sorry I know that's not what you want to hear.

I would give her a bit of warning to get her head around it and then wean fully.

With DD (who was 23m, so possibly easier!) I gave her three days' notice that we would be stopping and reminded her every day. I tried to bribe DD with an extra bedtime story but I'd set the situation up to do this by only ever reading her one story prior to this to allow room for an additional story as her weaning reward.

Can you think of something to reward your DD with?

Thanks for the replies.

INeedNewShoes - how much was your DD feeding before you weaned? How long did it take for her to accept and stop asking.

I think I am ready to embrace weaning but I'm worried that because I'm feeding her brother it will be a constant reminder if what she can't have and will just be a nightmare for a long time.

She’s 3 and you started breast feeding her again? She’s controlling you so stop feeding her. Let her tantrum. She’s old enough to understand it’s not her turn now. Lots of 3 year olds tantrum. Weather the storm.

Are there any landmarks coming up. Birthday/ or so on.
Something where you say she’s a big girl she doesn’t need mummy’s milk because she’s not a baby anymore and make a fuss of doing something grown up.
I had a friend who swapped breastfeeding a 3 year old with painting nails and doing pretty hairstyles. Because they are “grown up things”

Good luck

There is a Facebook group “breastfeeding older babies and beyond” where someone is likely to have gone through this and can help you. Might be worth checking out?

Is there anything else she really likes to eat/ drink? You could try getting her a 'special grown up' cup and when baby has milk she has something else and make a big fuss of how special it is? (I would secretly suggest chocolate buttons but it probably won't go down well and could cause problems if you had to do it for a while!!)

BubblesBuddy I never stopped breastfeeding her, I just increased the amount. I tried to stop, unsuccessfully while I was pregnant, but did get her down to just the once a day. I have read lots of advice that said breastfeeding the older child as well as newborn can help to reduce any jealousy. That does seem to have been the case, she shows no jealousy towards her brother.

Yes, you like the idea of swapping for doing something grown-up. That could work!