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Sleep

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Original poster

When does rocking to sleep become a problem?

29 replies

Sunlighthouse · 11/04/2020 20:32

I have an 8 week old DD. She loves motion to get to sleep. She has most of her naps in the sling and before bed I usually bounce her on a yoga ball to get her to sleep.

I'm breastfeeding but she doesn't really feed to sleep.

For now this is ok but I obviously don't want to be doing this for years. She won't go to sleep any other way though and it's too young to sleep train now. When do I need to worry and how can I wean her off this?

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rhowton · 11/04/2020 20:37

It will become a problem when you feel like you can't do it anymore. We rocked our first baby to sleep at every wake up. At 10 months, I was done. I was exhausted. I ached from constantly rocking her, she couldn't fall asleep but herself and I was so tired. We did controlled crying (very very very gently) at 10 months, and she finally learnt to fall asleep on her own. We have never rocked our second baby to sleep. I refused to do that again. She sleeps perfectly, and falls asleep by herself.

OhWifey · 11/04/2020 20:38

It becomes a problem when it becomes a problem. If it works and you're both happy with it then carry on for as long as that is true. When it no longer is, change something.

Blondefancy · 11/04/2020 20:50

it became a problem for me when both DD’s (seperate times) were becoming affected by the method of falling asleep. DD1 would be fed to sleep but it was actually just aggravating her reflux the constant sucking, and DD2 would be bounced in the sling however that would actually disturb here and cause her to wake prematurely from naps. Both times we did the Ferber method at around 4-5 months and it worked really well!

trilbydoll · 11/04/2020 20:53

We were still standing up rocking dd1 at 10mo and it was absolutely crippling. Dd2 has never ever been rocked standing up, if I even caught anyone else doing it when she was tiny I insisted they sit down immediately honestly I was totally bonkers. But she's definitely a better sleeper, make of that what you will.

heartyrebel · 11/04/2020 20:59

We used to lay our DD on our legs and sway and sing to her. It was on holiday when she was about 10 mths and I just thought "enough" and put her down and walked out. And guess what, she went to sleep.

Original poster

Sunlighthouse · 11/04/2020 21:00

Hmmm ok. I was sort of hoping she might magically grow out of it at 12 weeks, but maybe not!

Thing is I haven't found any other way to get her to sleep yet - if I don't rock her to sleep when she's tired she will just cry and cry and cry. What can I do in this situation?

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AdriannaP · 11/04/2020 21:03

She is still very young. Don’t fret.
Think our DD stopped at around 4-6 months but we cuddled her to sleep sleep and sometimes rocked her in the night

AdriannaP · 11/04/2020 21:04

And you won’t be doing it for years!

georgialondon · 11/04/2020 21:05

With babies, everything's a phase and things constantly change. If it works well now then keep doing it.

rhowton · 11/04/2020 21:06

It seems like a lot of mums just get sick of their kids at 10 months. 😂😂🙋🏼‍♀️

SomeoneElseEntirelyNow · 11/04/2020 21:08

@rhowton or at 10 months most babies are too big and heavy to rock for half an hour!? Try not to be snide, not wanting to put their back out doesnt make someone "sick of their baby"

stickman12 · 11/04/2020 21:09

I still rock mine occasionally at two! If it's a bad night it's all that settles him

Cdl84 · 11/04/2020 21:13

We had to stop recently as my nearly 8 month old is so heavy. He also seemed to be getting more angry with us when we tried to rock him to sleep, it was taking longer and he would keep waking up once put down- all of these things got worse with time. So we just moved him to his own room, put him down awake and he fell asleep with no crying! Think he was ready for things to change but it didnt work when he was younger so I would carry on until it stops working or gets too difficult.

Jeleste · 11/04/2020 21:14

I rocked my first one to sleep til he was 10 months. I got pregnant with my second when he was 9months, so we started trying to get him to sleep on his own there.
I actuay bounced him to sleep on a fitness ball at that age, because rocking was a bit exhausting.
Honestly, i dont regret it at all. It was fine and rocking him for 10mins was definitely easier than listen to him scream for ages.
When i first found out i was pregnant again we tried to get him to self settle right away. Didnt work at all. We gave it another shot a month later and there were no issues at all. I sat with him patting his back and he fell asleep without crying at all. It was as if he was ready all of a sudden.

Dont worry too much about starting a bad habit. Just do what works in the moment.

Original poster

Sunlighthouse · 11/04/2020 21:19

Is there any chance it might get easier to put a stop to it once the 'fourth trimester' is over? I was sort of hoping that might be the turning point for encouraging her to self settle. I have an older DD and I know she massively chilled out around 12 weeks.

If I tried to stop it now I think we'd end up with the classic colic/witching hour type symptoms as she's got a pair of lungs on her! But white noise and a yoga ball will settle her within 5 minutes...

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Bitterglitter · 11/04/2020 21:21

I think at your child's age it probably helps with indigestion avoidance ( I seem to recall gp telling me something like that at the time) as well as soothing. But I stopped fairly early on as I was worried it would be habit forming. I found snuggling with them in my bed then transferring to the cot worked a treat, and as they got older and went into their own beds I gradually turned a snuggle to a sit down next to them with a hand on them for a few minutes and leave the room when they look relaxed but not asleep yet. I think it gave them the confidence to sleep on their own. Having said that the youngest went through a phase, around 1.5-2 yrs old, of not sleeping till late (7-7:30) because he was napping too long in the day, but actually needing it too. So I didn't make a big deal of it and just told him to stay in his room and play quietly till he was tired, then get into bed. He would get bored after ten minutes, come into the landing and fall asleep. He soon figured out it was better to just stay in bed!

bloodywhitecat · 11/04/2020 21:22

My foster baby is 5 months and I still rock him to sleep in the rocking chair every evening. After his night feeds he is quite happy to self settle. He was drug withdrawing when he came to me, rocking and swaddling was the only thing that calmed him. To be honest I wish I had been more intuitive with my own kids, I don't think I harmed them by letting them self settle but I look back and miss the days when they were so small and dependant (they are 28 and 30 now)

polkadotpixie · 11/04/2020 21:27

I still have to rock my 19 month old to sleep for his naps 😩

He self settles at bedtime but naps are a nightmare and he will also only nap in my arms. I think I made a rod for my own back 😩

Useruseruserusee · 11/04/2020 21:31

I think don’t worry about it. I rocked both mine to sleep as it calmed and settled them easily. DS1 started sleeping through without needing any help to get to sleep at about 8 months and has been an amazing sleeper ever since (he’s 5 now). DS2 on the other hand is 2.5 and has NEVER slept for more than one hour at a time - unless we co-sleep, in which case he ‘only’ wakes up every two hours. I can not wait for the day that he learns how to sleep.

We did exactly the same with both of them. I firmly believe some babies/children are just better sleepers than others.

In the 2.5 years since DS2 was born, I’ve had all kinds of advice, both solicited and unsolicited. I’ve tried lots of things. The only conclusion I have come to is that you have to go with what works for you at the time. Nothing lasts forever.

katmarie · 11/04/2020 21:38

Dd is almost 6 months and I'm currently sitting in the rocking chair rocking her back to sleep for the third time this evening. I insisted on a rocking chair after 98th centile ds who needed rocking to sleep until he was 18 months. My back will never be the same again, and the rocking chair is hands down the best baby purchase I've ever made.

Mmsnet101 · 11/04/2020 21:49

My 7mo has been rocked, cuddled and fed to sleep since day 1. Sometimes all 3,sometimes one or the other. At around 4mo the motion stopped working for daytime naps and she just settled herself or was cuddled to sleep. At 7mo I'm no longer needing to do any of the above for naps or sleep and she sleeps through fine. I think weaning and just age have had more to do with it than anything we've done. I sort of miss it tbh!

Original poster

Sunlighthouse · 12/04/2020 10:27

So if I wanted to stop this without leaving her to cry, how would I do it?

I managed to get her to nap this morning by rocking/feeding until she was drowsy, then putting her in the cot and stroking her face until she fell asleep. Is that the kind of thing that would help if I could achieve itore often (hard with 3 year old DD around!) or is that still too much intervention?

Sleep is so confusing! Why don't they just sleep when they're tired...

OP posts:

Abouttimemum · 12/04/2020 15:24

Once out of the fourth trimester we worked on DS going to sleep on his own and he’s been great since about 4 months, but even now at 1 when he’s poorly and just wants a cuddle he likes a rock, although I have a rocking chair in his room and that does all the work!

Original poster

Sunlighthouse · 12/04/2020 16:57

Interesting, I was wondering about waiting until the end of the fourth trimester. I think I am going to try and start now but perhaps aim to properly stop at the 3/4 month mark...

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Original poster

Sunlighthouse · 13/04/2020 17:51

Those of you who did rock to sleep, did it become a problem at the four month sleep regression? Did you have to get up and rock them back to sleep multiple times a night?

I'm probably stressing too much about all of this but it's really worrying me!

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