Using sling all the time - help!!

[Sunlighthouse]

DD2 is 8 weeks old tomorrow. We've somehow ended up in a situation where she is in the sling almost all day. She comes out for feeds, nappy changes and a bit of playtime but then she's back in it again.

Basically it all started around 4 weeks when she became really difficult to settle for naps and started to nap on me a lot of the time. Then DD1's nursery closed and naps on me were no longer feasible so I started using the sling more. And now...here we are! I've started wearing it right up until she goes to bed at night.

What do I do? For now this is working for us. She's a really contented baby which I'm sure is because she's getting enough sleep. Her sister on the other hand was very unsettled and screamed all day at this age, I almost ended up with PND.

But this doesn't feel very sustainable? Although DD1 was a nightmare newborn, at around 12 weeks she did chill out quite a lot and I was able to put her down for naps swaddled and with a dummy. I'm worried this baby will now never ever be put down. If I try, she just screams like her sister did at this age.

Part of me is trying to relax about it and there is a part of me that thinks this stage is just about survival and I'll transition out of it once she's older and more settled. But a bigger part of me is terrified that I'm setting us up for a total nightmare when I need to transition her out of it.

Anyone else been in this situation and what did you do?

I did it with my third as she was prem and tiny. Switched to cot naps when she was about 6 months I think. Right now I’d do whatever makes your life easy.

If you really want to try something then do one nap a day either in the cot or rocking the buggy, or bedtime. Anything to mix things up a bit. But when you have a toddler and a baby you need to cut yourself some slack. You can work on changing habits once she’s older and nursery is back on.

Sounds fine to me, have you read about the fourth trimester?

One day at a time op. Right now she's brand new in the world and you're her safe place. Enjoy it.

My dd was in a sling a lot as a newborn. She slept well, was comfortable and happy. She has always been a good sleeper apart from a few weeks when teething although I think that's mostly down to luck. I'd echo peajotter, do whatever works.

FWIW, we also loosely 'swaddled' but not properly as I couldn't really get the hand of it. That might have helped her transition to cot naps easier as it mimicked the closeness of the sling.

If you google 'the 4th trimester', there's a lot about the benefits of 'baby wearing' for the newborn stage. They like being close to you. Also, I found it really lovely - I'm looking forward to doing it with my second.

If it's working now then stick with it!

Thank you everyone. If I were not writing this whilst rocking a baby to sleep in a sling, I would probably feel the same. But i am having such a crisis of confidence. How am I going to get out of this? She WILL chill out and be able to put down...won't she?!

It does beat being screamed at for 3 hours before bedtime though, which is what we had with DD1 at this stage...

Mine were the same OP. Loved the sling and sleeping on my chest, screamed if we tried to put them down, even in the pram. We ended up co-sleeping for 2+ years with each of them as it's the only way they would be happy sleeping. So, I have no advice really but to say that it doesn't last forever even though it feels like it when they are small

The thing is she will actually sleep in her crib at night! So that's a win at least? I don't understand why she can manage it at night but not in the day...

Surely this is a fairly perfect scenario? You’ve got a baby who is content during the day and sleeps well in her cot at night. I wouldn’t worry at all!

@chickoletta that is such a positive way to think about it - thank you!

I suppose my concern is when will it end? Right now, I'm happy to carry on. It's really working ok for us at the moment. But what about in 1/2/3 months' time? It's hard to see the wood for the trees a bit right now.

I know some people make a conscious decision to use the sling all the time but that's not really how we ended up here, it's just sort of happened! I'm not desperate to use it until she's 3 although I know some people do.

Honestly, I think you need to focus on the here and now. As chickoletta says, this is a pretty good set up while she's little. My dd just 'grew out' of being in a sling, especially the wrap one I used around the house. Naps became more routine once she reached 3 months old and I picked up on cues when she was ready to be put down for one as opposed to her just snoozing whenever which was what she did in the sling.

Take it day by day and enjoy the lovely closeness of having her next to you while you can!

This sounds totally normal for this stage. And also like it's working like a charm...?

Seriously. Please try to relax. Your baby is behaving perfectly normally for a baby. She is happy, you are happy, you are able to get on with your day. She even sleeps successfully in the cot already! Which means at some point you can move naps to there no problem. She will naturally start to be awake more, want to sit up, move and kick more, as she gets older, so you'll use the sling less naturally and can start moving to buggy/cot naps.