Moving from cot to bed

[Kmg]

Emmam - how did you persuade your son to stay in bed in the end? Against all my inclinations we've put my youngest in a "big boy's bed" - he's only 23 months, but was desperate for a big bed, and hasn't been sleeping well. (We've tried all sorts, and thought maybe a real bed would help ...)

Anyway he loves it, wants to be in it, hates his cot, but at bedtime tonight (Day 1) wouldn't stay in it for more than 30 seconds. They have now both gone to sleep, after 40 minutes mayhem, I'll let you know how I get on in the week. But does anyone have any tips on how to make them stay in bed, when they suddenly have the freedom to get out? (We never went through this with the eldest).

We put a stairgate across the landing outside the door and for a while our daughter would sit outside her room, eventually falling asleep there... not really satisfactory! So we eventually did the 'Dr Christopher Green' method of firmly putting her back into bed as soon as she got out, it took about three nights of 'mayhem' but was worth it.

Kmg - hope you had better luck over the weekend with keeping your son in his bed. This probably isn't very helpful, but we didn't need to do anything to keep him in his bed. He just stays there! I think what did it was that we still carry him up the stairs and into his bedroom at night, I put him straight in his bed and his feet don't touch the ground. When he has made attempts to get out I just tell him that he's got to stay put because its night-night time. He's been in it for about a month now and hasn't got out in the middle of the night either. He waits until we tell him he can out of bed in the morning.

I was telling a colleague this and he said `fantastic, but you know he'll probably wet the bed'. I asked him what he meant and he said, well if he waits for permission to get out then when he wants a wee in the middle of the night he won't dare get out himself! God, I hope he's wrong!!

Anyway, Emmagee's advice is very sound, you've got to perserve with putting them back in it until they get the idea. It doesn't take long. I can see myself probably having to employ this method myself shortly - I can't keep carrying him up the stairs, he's getting too damn heavy and I guess he's got to learn to get into bed himself.

oh how i wish my darling would wait until she was 'allowed' to get up, she's taken to waking, with alarming regularity, at 6am. We no longer close the stairgate so she trolls down to see us and that's it, peace shattered - any hints on persuading them to 'play quietly' until such time as they hear others get up....

This is what I was worried about - strolling in to our room in the early hours. I have seen a clock in the Great Little Trading Company with a bunny on it. The idea is that you put the bunny to sleep' with your child. At the alloted wake up time, say 7 am, the bunny wakes up', his eyes open and his ears pop up. You tell you child that he/she can't get up (come in to Mummy/Daddy) until bunny has woken up.

I do know someone who used to set a radio alarm for their child and it worked for them. They set the clock 15 minutes later each day until eventually the child got up when they wanted it to!

Emmagee - guess what, our little boy decided that he was going to get himself out of bed this morning! In he trotted to us at ten past six this morning - Oh joy.

Serves me right with my smug `he waits until we say he can get out of bed'! Ha ha ha ha.

I think it was hunger that drove him out. Last night he ate like an absolute horse and the same this morning. He had two beakers full of milk, two weetabix (so he's had about a pint of milk this morning!), a banana and a biscuit and that was all before 7 am!

Mmm, really looking forward to tomorrow morning (not) to see if this is going to be a regular thing. I think I'd better have an early night tonight myself just in case.

We moved our two year old into a bed when we needed her cot for our newborn. She can't resist the temptation to get out of bed and come downstairs and, frankly, we're too tired to keep walking her back to bed. We put a travel-cot in her room to act as the last resort and now she asks to sleep in there! Do you think a gate on her bedroom door will work?

The gate on the door just meant our daughter sat just inside the gate - and eventually keeled over and slept there. Minna, you said you're too tired to keep walking her back to bed. We applied that technique consistently for three days and then it was cracked. Now she only comes out if her nappy is full or if it's morning.

Our son is 2 yrs 3 months old and we've been trying for the past 6 months to get him into his big bed. We've now taken one of the sides off his cot so that it adjoins the bed and some nights while he is asleep we move him into the bed, but by morning he has taken himself, the duvet and pillow back into the cot. We read stories in bed together but he insists on going back to the old faithful! We have put no pressure on him to move, but as we have a 3 month old daughter, perhaps we should think about buying another cot! Anyone have any bright ideas or are we resigned to him being in the cot until he's 16?!!

Jennyb, I think he is bound to snuggle back into the old bed if it is there, to him thats his home, why be in the alternative. I think its one or the other. Because there are two options there perhaps he doesnt really understand whats going on?

Our son has finally really settled in his bed. He's 2 and 1 month now and we've had him in a bed since he was 22 months.

We took the cot away immediately so he had no choice but to sleep in his bed. We've got him in a junior bed which is very low to the ground and seems just right for him. The mattress had a waterproof cover on it which he found a bit unpleasant as it made a scratchy noise everytime he rolled over. To counter this I put a very large towel over it and then put his sheet on top and he seemed happier to lie down then.

We did have a few nights of misery when he first went in, but we just applied the sleep training techniques and kept putting him back etc. After about 3 nights of this he starting sleeping like old times again. He gets up and comes in to us in the morning which nowadays can be anything from 6 am to 7 am. If he gets up any earlier (very rarely) then he is simply marched back into his own bed. Again, after 5 minutes of grumbling he goes back to sleep.

You've got to persevere and stick to your routine. You can't confuse the poor kid by being strict one night and then letting them get away with it another. It doesn't take long to get them into the habit of staying in bed. You can change things.

We moved my son into a bed when he was just over 2, mainly because I needed the cot for my daugter who was fast growing out of the travel cot which she used to sleep in. I bought one of the IKEA junior beds with a safety bar at the side and we bought a load of stickers to put on the bar for him to look at in the evenings and mornings. He was so excited by the stickers, we never had any trouble getting him to sleep in the bed, he couldn't wait to get in it even when he saw his sister sleeping in his old cot.

Thanks to Bon, Emmam and Ems for your invaluable advice which has worked a treat. On the first day we dismantled the cot and left the mattress on the floor, but the following night we took that away so he had but no choice to sleep in his bed and surprisingly he absolutely loves it. We've put 2 bedrails up and 2 potty-training steps at each side of the bed so he can climb in and out at the end of the bed and I've had to wake him up each morning myself. Thanks again!

Thats brilliant news Jennyb!

Excellent JennyB, isn't it brilliant when it all works out, huge weight off your shoulders!

My son went into a bed at 20 months. He hated it at first and wouldn't stay in it unless I laid down on the bed with him until he went to sleep. After a couple of nights of this I bought a gate which we put across his doorway.

He is now 2 and is used to his bed. I still put the gate up at night when he first goes to bed, just to stop him trying to get downstairs, but he will normally wave night night from behind the gate and as soon as I go downstairs he gets into bed. My next plan is to take the gate down when I go to bed so that he can come out freely when he wakes up in the morning.

Does anyone know of the sort of prices that blackout blinds cost - as it is so light at the moment when my son goes to bed, he can take a while to go off to sleep so I thought a blackout blind might help - any suggestions welcome.

Benjie, I cant remember exactly, but they are not very expensive. I got first one in John Lewis, pretty jungle pattern on it. And the second much cheaper; plain navy blue in bedding shop (Rosebys or somethings? )on big B&Q/Homebase trading estate place. You can get them in Homebase too I think, buy the size nearest to your window measurement, saw and cut a bit off and hey presto! Wouldnt be without mine.

We brought black-out liners for our curtains. They don't seal off as much of the light as a blind would, but still work just as well. Ours cost around £13.99 for an average sized bedroom window and were brought from a local curtain shop. I have definitely seen an improvement in sleeping times since we've had them.

Our 26 months old ds shows no interest in leaving his cot. He doesn't try to escape and is very content to be in it. We are expecting our second in April and to be honest I am not fussed about getting ds out of the cot before the baby arrives. However, I wondered if I should be. Am I storing up problems for myself in the long run by not cracking the move from cot to bed now?
Does anyone else have any experience of a cot lover?

Bugsy, three of mine loved their cots and none of them ever climbed out. The earliest any of them had a bed was three yrs old and there was no problem with them getting used to it, as they were old enough to understand and be excited about a 'big bed'.
I was never in the position of needing the cot for another baby, but if I had, I'd have bought another cot, maybe second-hand with a new mattress, or borrowed one, rather than risking disturbing them. You can always sell it later or it may come in handy if you have people to stay.

Good question Bugsy - I was wondering the same thing myself. Won't you have to buy a new cot though if you don't get your toddler out in time for the new one? I was thinking about getting mine into a bed after xmas so that its sorted before the agonies of baby sibling jealousy!! I can't even begint to imagine that he'll stay in it though. How do you get them to do that??

Well, we have a moses basket, travel cot & a spare double bed, so I think that one of those will do at some point for the baby. I would also consider buying a second hand cot & new mattress rather than rush ds out of his cot. It is so blissful in the morning if he stirs a bit early to know that after 5 mins he will just go back to sleep or chatter away to himself, whereas I'm sure if he was in a bed, he'd be up and about! So, it is purely selfish reasons for not rushing him!!!

Very true about sleeping in, those extra minutes will be needed inApril - so I wonder how long a baby will fit into a moses basket??

My ds was three and a half before he moved into a bed (it was a cotbed so it was just a case of taking off the bars). He could have climbed out months - even years! - before but just didn't seem to be bothered. Much more fun to stand and yell for mummy! We eventually moved him because we went on holiday and he had to sleep in a bed there. If it gets you more kip, why not? Just make sure the area round it is clear so that if he decides to make a bid for freedom he'll have a soft landing ... My theory is also that the older they are the easier it is to get them to stay in a bed because they're old enough to talk to/bribe etc. If Moses baskets last c. 4 months, that gives you till next summer ...

Our dd is the same age as your son Bugsy and has never tried to escape (quite the opposite as she will climb into it if she's tired) so I've decided to leave her in it for now. Admittedly I've not got an imminent second but if I had I'd go down the second-hand cot /new mattress route or a cot bed as all my friends (bar one) have had problems with the transfer of children around 2-2.5

I suspect the main reason for her staying put is that she still is in a sleeping bag (to which she is very attatched) so if any of you have any ideas how and when to move to 'normal' bedding I'd be grateful for advice !

For what its worth there really can't be a better time to move your child than when they are ready and it doesn't sound worth it yet! You are more likely to encounter jeaslousy if you rush a child out of their safe place and put the baby in it anyway! I think you're very lucky tho, 2 of my 3 boys climbed out of their cots at 13 months and refused to sleep in them thereafter. Ikea do some fab expandadble beds with sides which make the transition easy when the time comes... or at least little houdinis seemed happy ...Good luck!