7-week-old baby only sleeps in my arms

[Noia1]

Hi, I am desperate and wanted to check if there are mums out there that had the same situation I am having and what happened in their cases. My baby is now 7 weeks old and is never settled neither never sleeps unless in my arms. She wants to be held 24/7. She doesn’t even like pacifiers, so, when I try to put her down, she cries and cries and can carry on for hours unless I let her sleep and stay on me - despite being so tired that the minute I pick her up she goes fast asleep and all her body relaxed, only to start crying again like crazy if I re-try to put her down and as soon as I start quietly moving.

I have tried everything and nothing works: T-shirt in her basket, white music, putting her down half asleep, deeply asleep, still awaken but tired, warm bottle to warm up the sheets, rocking, putting my hand on her chest, sushing.

In the day I can use a wrap, but when the situation or activity means I can’t have her on a wrap or held we are lost.

Did anyone have this happening? If so, how did your situation change?

I was going crazy without sleeping and my baby looked ill from not sleeping too whenever I tried and tried, so I gave in for our health’s sake. We hold her the 24/7 she screams for and I am co-sleeping, but our bed is only a double and worry too much about her safety there, so... I need a light at the end of the tunnel.

I had the same. It was so tiring and really stressed me out about safe sleeping. But I had also tried everything. She once cried for 6 hours because I kept trying to put her in a bedside cot and she wasn’t having any of it. In the end I let her sleep on me because she was beside herself with exhaustion. Newborn. Anyway, after a few months she would sleep next to me. I just put on warm clothes so I didn’t need a duvet up round my top half of my body. I asked so many people about what to do, health visitor, midwife, doctor and none of them had an answer except to reiterate safe sleeping. But no one could tell me how to get her in a cot. I kept saying I wanted to follow the guidelines but couldn’t. And no one gave a solution that worked. She just grew out of it in the end.

TwistyHair

I am “glad” to hear about a case as extreme as mine and know that this may resolve on its own. My baby too has even been crying for 8 hours despite all I did every few minutes during those hours to soothe her.

I am curious about the amount of months it took your DD to grow out of it... do you remember roughly?
Also, how did the transition happen?

Google the fourth trimester - quite normal for babies to be like this. Mine was the same too

Let her sleep in the crook of your arm, you face to face with her to trigger her breathing reflex and pull your knees up around her so you can't roll on her. Get OH to sleep in another bed if you are worried. Buy a Snuza device that clips on to her nappy and beeps if she stops breathing (or it comes loose...) If you are REALLY worried. But most parents of new babies sleep with them I expect. It's normal.

You haven't mentioned swaddling in things you've tried. Have you tried swaddling tightly (you can get arms up ones called Swaddle Up's) then feeding to sleep, and then transferring?

I have an 8 week old who is the exact same.
I am constantly exhausted because I am too scared to properly sleep at night time incase I suffocate her. This is my 3rd baby and I have never had this issue.
Again like you during the day she is attached to me in a baby sling as she would cry for hours until I pick her up.
I am praying she becomes a little easier to put down on her own when she starts crawling and using more energy.
I may just be living in hope though

@user3274826, yes, I have tried swaddling, but she is like a little motion radar and didn’t work either.

This is reassuring: my 11 week old is exactly the same. Cannot get him in his Moses basket and he’s getting worse, not better. Wakes 9/10 within 5 minutes in the day and 10/10 at night if I attempt to transfer him. It’s soul-destroying. We have been co-sleeping since day one for my sanity.

I thought my first was bad!

@TwoKidsStillStanding same boat but 14 weeks old...will not sleep in his side sleeper and exactly as you described, wakes up within seconds of being transferred in. Shushing and patting doesn't work at all, and his crying intensifies to the point where his older brother (18 months) gets woken up. I was ok with the co-sleeping at first but now I don't know how to change things. Spend my days desperately trying to keep my older one amused (climbing things, mounting the washing machine etc) whilst holding a baby who hates being put down. Shattered doesn't cover it

I reckon it took 3 months(!) with my first. And 6 weeks with my second. Totally also like a motion radar. As soon as I even bent forward to put them down, their eyes pinged awake. I tried leaving it for so many different amounts of time. Sleepy but awake 20 mins until their arms were floppy, hours. But each time as exactly the same. I put them down. They screamed. I don’t want to advise you what to do but I can really empathise. The way I got out of it, is they’d be asleep on my chest with me sat up. Then I’d slowly move myself til I was lying down. Then I’d slowly roll sideways and lie them down. But I’d have to keep one of my arms around so they didn’t wake up. It was so stressful. But! There is light at the end of the tunnel. They did both end up sleeping in their own cot/bed in the end.

@Noia1 remember seeing friends put their babies in a cot or Moses basket and being unable to comprehend how that even worked. I think some babies you can just put down into cots and some you can’t. I’m sure it wasn’t coz I had some awful technique. But it certainly felt like it at the time and really made me doubt myself.

@Noia1 my baby is now 8 months old and he was the same! I used a baby sling, a sleepyhead (expensive but he still uses it now so it’s been worth it for me!) and safe bedsharing. Totally normal! They feel safe on you and so they wait to feel safe to fall asleep they aren’t small forever so enjoy it if you can!

I'm convinced young babies who sleep anywhere but on a parent are a clever optical illusion or a figment of my imagination. All four if mine have been completely unable to sleep alone for at least 3 months, but even then it was hit and miss until around 8 months. None of mine even slept in the pram or car seat!

You can absolutely co-sleep safely, so long as you are not a smoker, haven't been drinking etc. I really wish HCPs put a bit less emphasis on safe sleep guidelines. Know what's more dangerous than not co-sleeping? Not sleeping at all 🙄 I ended up collapsing with exhaustion one day with DD2. Thankfully, 3yo DD1 had been taught how to use the phone and called Daddy for help. I haven't hesitated in co-sleeping since!