19 month old sleep pattern, please help

[Serenbach14]

Hi everyone
Ive just joined on here so hoping I’m posting this in the correct way. I am desperate for some help with our 19 month old little girl and her early waking.

Currently she goes to bed between 7/7.30 and without fail is up by 5am (often waking in the night also). Today she has been up for the day since 4.45, then woke our 5 year old son up at 5 and he has also been up since then. I don’t know what I can do to change this, I feel so sorry for him as he’s so tired going to a full day of school then he’s trying to fall asleep in the car after school and things.
It sounds silly and over the top but it’s affecting everything now, my work is suffering trying to work a 9-5 as a psychiatric nurse and do all the household juggling of things and my partner works long hours in the building trade. It causes nothing but arguments between us

Her days are full of interactions and activities she goes to a Creche usually 3 days a week and is super busy, usually has one nap during the day around late morning/lunch time. It’s often a struggle to keep her awake on the journey home from Creche at 5.30 but I try to keep her awake then get her to sleep by 7.30ish.
She’s always been an awful sleeper, was breastfed until 10 months and barely slept more than 2 hours at a time until then.

When she goes to sleep at night I try and put her in her cot awake with her bottle/dummy and encourage her to get herself to sleep without me having her in my arms to sleep anymore and she has no problem with that. I try not to give her a bottle in the night but sometimes she won’t settle without it. When she wakes in the morning (I say morning it still feels like nighttime when it’s before 5am) she is fully awake, often just stood in her cot humming twinkle twinkle little star to herself so there is nothing I can do to get her back to sleep.

If anyone has any advice I would appreciate it so much, I feel like it’s taken over and I rarely start the day off without crying at the moment. Sometimes when I drop her off to nursery in the morning she falls asleep and I have to hand her over sleeping and I spend most of the journey to work crying just wanting to go back to bed. I know things could be worse and I’m so lucky to have two happy healthy children, I just thought by now things would have settled down and become easier. I had post natal depression after my first and was on medication, I’ve tried my absolute best second time round not to let things get on top of me.

Thank you in advance if anybody takes the time to read this and reply x

I know It sounds daft but have you tried a 6.30/7pm bedtime?
My DS aged 1 always wakes up between 5.30/6am if he goes to bed after 7. We put him to bed at 6.30 and he sleeps until 6.30. Worth a try??

We tried a 7pm bedtime last night... all four of us are wide awake at 4.20 this morning now trying to settle her back to sleep as she thinks it’s day time so does my 5 year old

In your shoes, I would take her for a long walk after dinner to tire her out and get some fresh air. I’d also put her to bed a little later.

Firstly sending love and empathy Serenbach

If you're on the same path as me (which you might well not be) you will look back in a few years and see the early stages of an intrinsic sleep problem. It may not be anything you are doing or not doing. Usual strategies may not be relevant.

My now 6 year old still has very disturbed sleep. This is related to his prematurity and neurodiversity. At 19 months I didn't know that but I did know it was utterly exhausting for me.

My suggestion is to prioritise whatever is going to give you and other family members the best sleep possible. I almost always go to bed at the same time as my son. Sometimes I can arrange to have a sleep during the day (quite tricky in my circumstances) I make sure the other adults around me know this is a serious challenge.

The idea nearly killed me but it was helpful keeping a very brief record of what was going on for a few nights. I was able to identify that there are several different elements to our particular sleep torture (night terrors, sleep walking, nightmares, early waking;body clock not functioning) the one thing we don't have is any great problem with the horribly named 'sleep hygiene'.

Good luck and fingers crossed for you.

Ps to all of you who have children who sleep for several hours in a row. I hope to join you one day!

Hi OP
Mine's the same! She's 18.5m and wakes up 3/4/5. I've managed to get her back to sleep this morning by taking her into my bed and rubbing her back. Yesterday that didn't work and she screamed 4-6am
It's tough and feels two steps forward and one back but we'll get there.

My ds did this, we tried all sorts. Later bedtimes, earlier bedtimes, making mornings super boring, blackout blinds. Nothing really worked. He grew out of it to an extent but is still an early riser. I suggest CBeebies when they wake up in the morning and lots of coffee for you. Also try and get a few early nights a week to catch up on sleep.

I'm in a similar boat OP, don't have much advice but hoping someone comes along with a magical solution.
Have you tried putting her to bed later?
Up until 4 months ago, my now 19 month old DD co-slept with me and was breastfed to sleep and during the night. In December I persisted with getting her to sleep in her cot and we're now at the point where she falls asleep in there without much assistance, just DP or I sat in a chair next to her, but some nights she still wakes 2-3 times and wakes up for the day around 5am, 6/6:30am if I'm lucky. She's so tired though and definitely needs more sleep.
I used to bring her in with us when she woke up around 5 and she'd always go back to sleep for a couple of hours but then she started waking earlier and coming in with us from 4am, 2am, 12am.
She's still breastfed and I wonder if that plays a part as when she gets up it's the first thing she does.
I feel like I'm missing something but can't see a pattern in her sleep that stands out to me.

Hi Hun have u tried a later bed time and maybe playing some white noise xx

Hi there my LO always sleeps better if he’s had lots of exercise and fresh air during the day (if possible) encourage them to run around. I also find if he’s awake any longer than 4.5 hours between last nap and bedtime we get an early wake. My LO is 18 months so I push him as far as I can for his first nap (usually 1pm) and j wake him at 3 then start bath around 6.45 - hoping he’ll then be asleep by 7.15/7.30 latest. I find if he’s awake longer than 4.5/5 hours we’re guaranteed an early wake. I also give him a snack before bath eg weetabix and then his milk

I recommend a sleep consultant, priceless

Hi everyone, thank you so much for everyone’s replies.
Im hoping now with the clock change things start to feel a bit more normal, like today it was 6am, although it still felt like 5am it felt better knowing it was that little bit later! Haha.

We’ve tried so many things, especially while I’ve been off work on annual leave... changing the bed time, making sure she’s eating more in the days, lots of running around and exercise and nothing seems to help.

Hope everyone who is also struggling with lack of sleep gets some relief soon, it’s nice to know we’re not going through it alone. I’m keeping optimistic that things will naturally get better.

Stay safe everyone during this worrying time xx