Baby hates dad after 6pm, what to do?

[bahv]

Hi all, I am the hated dad. I'll try to be brief.

My son is almost 9 months old already. He's breastfed and has solids but only very recently has started accepting some bottle. For several reasons, including trips and a nasty cough that lasted more than a month, he's been basically sleeping on top of mum for about 2 months (I say basically cause she works and, most of the time, she's too tired to wake up and put him back in the cot after nursing or settling).

Him and I have a great relationship during the day. In fact, I am a stay at home dad, and take care of him most of the time. I love him, and I am pretty sure he likes me. However, past bed time (around 6pm) he hates me with all his soul. If he becomes unsettled and I am the one to pick him up from the crib, he will cry/scream his lungs out until I pass him over to mum. It's almost like a switch, cause once she takes him he calms down very quickly.

I am sure the fact that he's sleeping on her aids to this behaviour, but is there any other thing that we could try to get him to like me again during the nights? I would really like to help take some of the night load off of my wife.

Up! :(

I know it feels like it when they’re screaming in your face, but your baby doesn’t hate you. He’s just expressing himself... loudly. Our 12 month old has been doing this again recently - I think it is to do with wanting to be near the milk source, especially when ill or teething.

Once he’s asleep after a feed, try gently lifting him and either holding him yourself or putting him down in crib - I used to appreciate it when DP did this when I was tired. (Obvs warn his mum you’re going to do this beforehand!)

When DD is screaming at night DP generally perseveres by holding her firmly but gently in a dark room and singing until she gets too tired to howl, occasionally has to break her out of a crying fit by putting on the nightlight and reading stories. We’ve also used Lucy Wolfe’s sleep solution book which has helped get us away from holding/feeding to sleep for the most part. I really do recommend it. But if he’s ill he’ll probably just insist on a comforting feed from his mum some nights. Don’t take it to heart when that happens - he’ll want you more on other nights if you persevere.

Hello, thank you for your words.

I've tried most of what you recommend. I have usually been the one to put him in the crib after he nurses and when I persevere it usually ends up in him vomiting from so much screaming/coughing.

He's not sick although teething might be the thing. Anyway I will look into the book you mentioned.

Thank you!