Do we stop breastfeeding?

[Ktd88]

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for some advice about breastfeeding and sleep...

My little girl is 15 months old, we co sleep (although try and get her to at least start the night in her own cot). She doesn't sleep through the night and always wants to comfort feed, so ends up in our bed. My husband and I are fine with this because she'll then go back to sleep and we all get a good night's rest.

The problem: during the night she'll only settle once she's been fed (at this stage I'm pretty sure it's just comfort, she eats very well during the day). I'm going away for a few nights in the Summer and I am so so worried / anxious about leaving her when she isn't yet able or ready to comfort herself.

Last night we tried to get her back to sleep without a feed (I rocked her, she screamed, Daddy went in to comfort her, she screamed) this went on for two hours before we gave in. It was so distressing for all of us.

She just doesn't seem ready to stop, but as there will be times in the future when I'm not around at night time, I really want her to be able to settle herself.

Has anyone been through a similar thing / can offer words of wisdom??

Have you tried a dummy?

We did a while ago (when she was around 6 months) but she just spat it out. I wasn't sure if she was too old for one now?

Our daughter was the same but we did manage to get her to take one eventually. It's not ideal and you have to face weaning when she's around 2 but for now it might help? Even if just used as a bridge between now and self settling which shouldn't be too far away if she's 15 months already.

I'd keep going until this virus has gone, due to breastmilk's immunity boosting.

I'd just wait until the summer when you go away (if you go away...!)

if you're not there, she will do better (albeit with some crying!)

I had to wean my DD when she was about 16 months when I was hospitalised as DS was threatening to make an early appearance!

She cried the first night but went to sleep hugging the phone as I talked to her before she went to bed - still makes me a bit teary even now and she's 22!!

she was fine after that, and when I came home after about 2 weeks (!) she didn't ask for boob.

Honestly sounds like she's not ready, but that doesn't mean she won't be ready in a week/a fortnight/a month. It all changes so quickly at that age!!

I wouldnt try cutting feeds cold turkey. Try just reducing the length of night feeds. This worked well for us. We also set a time when we wouldn't bring him into our bed before that, and my husband would go in and try and settle him without a feed. This worked really well.
I will say though - even once he was completely weaned at night it didn't improve his sleep at all.

Look up dr jay gordon night weaning method. And keep feeding for now with the cv19 stuff it could be important.

Thanks everyone! I think you're right - breastfeeding to continue for the near future (in light of what's going on!), but will definitely try a dummy as well and see what she thinks. She's got a real bad case of separation anxiety at the moment, and its quite difficult to stay objective about it and not myself get separation anxiety too! Right now the thought of leaving her is so upsetting, but I wonder whether my attitude is influencing hers...

So much scary stuff going on, I need to figure out how to be a calm, collected, parent!

no, don't introduce a dummy now. No good for mouth and speech development.

I night weaned at 14 months using the Jay Gordon method, dh did it to take me completely out of the equation. Continued to bf during the day.

I agree that waiting until you go away would probably be best

My twins are 18 months and NOTHING but boobs will settle them if I’m there. However when they stay at my parents they go back off fine for my DM. They just know there’s no milk and no point in crying.

I night weaned when DS was 10 months old and continue breastfeeding at other times (morning, day, bedtime) until after he turned 2.

We tried the gradual night weaning methods, Jay Gordon and the No Cry Sleep Solution, but they didn't work.

We had to go cold turkey which was kinder in a way because it was less confusing for DS, if they're allowed a breastfeed sometimes but not others - or just a short one but not as long as they want - they won't understand why. We had a horrible few nights he quickly got used to no milk and settled without it. (I warn you he then wanted to be held all night long so we had to continue and sleep train so he would sleep in his cot!)

In my experience gentle methods didn't seem to work sadly, we had to be very clear on the boundaries (DS still pushes boundaries, he's the give an inch take a mile type!) But that's not to say they wouldn't work for other kids.

For us I concluded that it was all or nothing, either we do cosleeping and breastfeeding on demand at night, or we cut the night feeds and sleep train - anything in between just resulted in no sleep for anyone. Others might be more lucky!

I do think you have to be consistent so if you refuse milk but then give in after 2 hours of screaming you haven't really taught her anything apart from she gets milk eventually if she screams long enough. Sorry!