Accidentally sleep training

[SomeoneElseEntirelyNow]

18wk DD sleeps in her next-to-me in our room, but with the side up and away from our bed. The other night she woke up half an hour after being fed and i just couldnt face it, i lay in bed for a minute while she cried - she was definitely awake, i could see her through the mesh of the cot side - and after about 30 seconds she was just grizzling, 2 minutes later she was asleep again.

Since then, if she's been fed in the last 3 hours (max she goes without in the day) i just leave her to sort herself out for a bit if she wakes and cries. 90% of the time she's back asleep within 5 minutes, and as soon as she gets actually upset and not just grizzling i go and get her and cuddle her back to sleep.

I didn't really think of it as sleep training cos it kinda happened by accident but then i read something about not doing any sleep training til 6 months and now I'm worried. Tbh, i feel like she's learning how to go back to sleep by herself, rather than crying herself back to sleep, but I'm stressing about going against the "rules". DH says "fuck the rules, take the sleep" but he's a renegade and i was a prefect, so that approach makes my teeth itch.

Bump

No idea about the 'rules' (and I'm on baby number three!) but I'd probably do the same as you to be honest.

My baby is 16 weeks and I do comfort her before she starts to properly cry, mainly because I can't stand the sound of a crying baby but also because she would wake my 2 and 4 year old up and then it would be carnage!

If this is your only child then I think it's ok, just don't leave them crying for more than a few minutes.

Tbh I think a mother’s instinct is quite strong. I could generally once a bit older work out which cry’s were hunger, which were comfort and which were just “I want to get out of this cot” (toddler fun).

@OnlyFoolsnMothers yeah to me this sounds much more like tired, frustrated "why aren't i sleeping" grizzling than a hungry or sad cry. As soon as she sounds upset rather than grumpy, i pick her up.

I'm with you. My DH tends to spring out of bed and put a bottle on (we're FF) as soon as there's a noise from the cot but a lot of the time DS is absolutely fine. Sometimes he'll grizzle, sometimes he'll chat, sometimes he'll kick around (and fart like a trooper). Annoying for us but he doesn't need anything and he often puts himself back to sleep. If he starts crying, I'll get up with him but, for example, this morning, he started stirring at 5. I checked he was okay and just left him to it until 6 when he got hungry.

You do you OP. I made the mistake with my first of responding to every noise he made by feeding, rocking, patting, shushing. Nearly 5 years old, still doesn't sleep through the night. Baby #2 was left to sort herself out from 12 weeks (never left to scream but wasn't picked up at every whimper) and slept through from 4 months and is still a champion independent sleeper. If it's working for you and baby kick on

You're not really sleep training so please don't worry about the 6 month rule. You have just discovered that sometimes when your little one wakes, they don't actually want you. It's great that your baby can settle themselves back to sleep. Some babies do make a bit of grizzling noise when they do this. You will probably find that if you pick them up during this period then you will wake them up properly and then they will start really crying! Like you said, you always go to them if they actually start properly crying so I'm sure your baby is absolutely fine and feeling very safe and secure that you are there for them when they need you! Sounds like you are doing everything perfectly and you should enjoy the extra sleep when you get it! Especially as the self settling may not last....4 month sleep regression can ruin that!

I cannot understand why people pick their kids up as soon as they start crying. You are training them not to be able to self settle and to wake constantly to be picked up. I think it's nuts.
I'm not talking about leaving them to cry for half an hour but short periods it's fine.
If I was talking in my half sleep and snorting like I do I'd be properly pissed off if a giant yanked me out of bed and would not be able to get back to sleep again.

I'm the same with DS. He's 16 weeks now. If he cries or seems upset I go to him. If he's just making noises I don't let on that I'm awake and usually he goes back to sleep. It works for us.

If I was talking in my half sleep and snorting like I do I'd be properly pissed off if a giant yanked me out of bed and would not be able to get back to sleep again.

Laughed so hard i woke the baby, thanks hun!