Parents of non sleeping toddlers please come and empathise with me - I am broken!

[Dandelionfuzz]

After DD1 being a dream sleeper with no effort on our part along came DD2. She has always been an awful sleeper. We have tried EVERYTHING.

She’s 20 months now and still doesn’t sleep. We are up at least twice every night. Often for hours on end. Sometimes she comes into our bed, if I am my knees. She doesn’t like naps, doesn’t like going to sleep. Just generally hates sleep (in her cosy bed, after a lovely, consistent night time routine).

She’s an absolute delight in the day, very bright, more advanced than my other daughter was at this age. Speaking in full sentences, asking to do poos on the potty. She’s amazing.

BUT seriously, I am broken! I work shifts 6.30-2.30 M-F which means I’m up at 5am every day. I’m going to bed at 7 to make sure I get at least a few hours. I have no life, there’s no point planning anything social in the evenings. My DH is great (after a gentle kick) and does his share but I really struggle to sleep knowing he’s in with her, and the nervous anticipation as to whether he will succeed in getting her back to sleep!

Please someone tell me they’re in a similar boat?! I feel so wholly alone.

My daughter was exactly like this and god did it nearly break us. It’s so so hard. She eventually started sleeping better around the age of 3 and is now a dream at the age of 4. She too is quite ‘advanced’ for her age, not particularly early at crawling or walking etc but early speech and quite emotionally switched on for her age.

This too shall pass. It’s totally rubbish when you’re in it, but it will pass. Soon you will be able to bribe/persuade/reward much more easily and we found that was what helped in the end.

Best of luck xxx

We also have dd2 like that. After 2 and a half years of us both getting up in the night, trying to settle her etc we have given up and she now comes into our bed and one of us goes onto the sofa. It's not ideal but we do get more sleep.
I know what you mean about it making evening plans though. We don't ever go out together as it's not worth the hassle. We often have our evening at home disturbed and it feels like we get no down time at all when that happens. It's exhausting isn't it?

Thanks for replying! I am glad to know it’s not just my little person that does this! Everyone else with similar age children has sleepers! Or they say that they do.

I think I might just go with cosleeping for a few weeks to try and recharge my batteries. Reassess in the Easter hols when I’m on leave.

Do they really still need a nap? We dropped naps for DS about 2 y 2 mo and his night sleep then drastically improved. Not perfect but better.

We don't go out in the evenings but we didn't anyway (he's a bit of a sh** about going to bed for anyone else, I have to be out if DH is going to try)

I feel your pain. My 2.5 year old takes hours to go to sleep then will wake up and dick about a lot. I'm so tired.

Following this, my DS1 is 3 this June, used to sleep like a dream our youngest is now 4 months old. DS1 occasionally naps depending, this past few weeks either with or without a nap has woken at stupidly early hours and dicked about I'm now at the end of my temper fuse, hes not sad or in distress he smiles and thinks it's funny. I believe it's an attention situation. Any advice would be appreciated

My DD is 18 months and doesn't sleep well at all. She has slept through maybe twice in her life, both times on antibiotics which seem to wipe her out. She is up at least twice a night, usually more. Still needs lots of cuddles and feeding to get herself off to sleep. There's certainly no "pat her bum and sing a song" settling here! She hates being in our bed too, as I wouldn't mind her sleeping in with us if it meant we got some sleep. I'm on my knees with tiredness most days and it's actually having a horrendous impact on our marriage. Shit show really! Hoping that she will start to get better soon. 😩

My ds was exactly like this but when he hit 3 he was so much better and now at 4 he sleeps through every night. It will get better I promise!