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Conundrum child!

7 replies

Mamma211 · 09/03/2020 21:53

My child is a conundrum and I don’t know what to do.

He’s almost six months and we’ve never had great sleep but it’s been awful for weeks now, with just the odd patch of random good sleep.

He’s only ever done 30 minute naps although on occasion and with white noise I can get longer but it’s very unpredictable. I pay attention to sleep signals and wakefulness periods and he goes down for naps fairly easily but won’t stay asleep for long as a rule.

He goes to bed at 6:30 generally without much fuss although it’s harder when he’s learning a skill because he’s too interested in his surroundings even in the dark and at the moment he’s very much on the move and learning to crawl.

He goes to bed in his cot which is next to my bed and I lay next to him, sometimes with a hand on him and then leave. Sometimes I’ve been able to leave straightaway.

He used to do a longer stint at the start of the night (3-6 hours) but that’s mostly out of the window and he wakes every 1-2 hours.

It’s not always hunger and he settles with a hand on his back and has gone 6 hours without being fed and settling this way (he’s exclusively breastfed although we’ve started to experiment with weaning). Recently as soon as I’ve moved my hand he wakes up, no matter how long I’ve had it there, but not always. The first waking of the night is normally when he’s most upset and needs a feed. He does a good feed of about 20 minutes then so I know it’s hunger (whereas if it’s not he feeds for a couple of minutes and I know I’ve been conned!)

I tried moving feed time and feeding him closer to bed as he doesn’t need a feed to sleep, and also giving solids in the evenings but it makes no difference.

I’ve tried sleeping in a different room - again, no difference.

I’ve tried co-sleeping but if I’m laying next to him he insists on having a nipple in his mouth and if it falls out he roots (presumably because I’m close). And he doesn’t have a problem being moved to his cot generally, once he’s fed I can put him in his cot and he wriggles like he needs to get comfortable but will mostly sleep there happily enough.

He also wakes up between 4&5 am - I can persuade him to go back to sleep but only for 45 minutes or so at a time and with white noise.

The heating is on through the night and temperature is consistent.

I’m a first-time mum and doing this solo now after Dad moved out 3 weeks ago. I worried this made his sleep worse but it doesn’t seem any different in honesty.

I considered teething but he’s good tempered in the day.

I wondered whether it’s separation anxiety but he doesn’t show signs of this in the day and is often happy for me to leave the room before he’s asleep when he’s put to bed.

I tried leaving him to cry the other day which I hated and after 30 minutes gave up on. We did an hour of laying with my hand on his back and he didn’t sleep then. He constantly wriggles and turns himself onto his back (is a tummy sleeper) and then won’t go to sleep like that but gets annoyed when you turn him into his tummy!

Sorry that this is long and disjointed I’m just losing patience and am at my wits end!

OP posts:
Peanut55 · 09/03/2020 22:01

I didn't want to read and run . My DS is also 6 mo and likes to have me close to him to sleep. I am just trying to get him to sleep solo in his cot.

My son has a long nap between 4:30-6 and then will have his dinner around 6:30. Playtime with daddy when he comes home. Then he falls asleep with a bottle around 8:30/9. He used to sleep through u til 4 but now wakes earlier for a feed.

Is your son eating food now as well as having you?

Have you tried to introduce a comforter ? Does your lo have a dummy?

When I was BF I had to introduce a dummy as he wouldn't leave my poor boobs alone.

Peanut55 · 09/03/2020 22:03

When he wakes in the night, do you put a light on? Do you talk to him?

I have a little night light and I only make shush noises. I try my hardest not to talk as it wakes him.up more.

ThisHereMamaBear · 09/03/2020 22:10

My ds is now 16 months old. I remember he went through awful sleep phases at 6 months then 10 months. I gave up on having an evening and just cuddled him while I watched Handsmaid Tales on my phone (with headphones on!)

Mamma211 · 09/03/2020 22:26

No, no lights, no talking other than a sssh.

OP posts:
Mamma211 · 09/03/2020 22:27

I’d happily do that but the light would distract him. 😫

OP posts:
Mamma211 · 09/03/2020 22:29

Ah, not sure if I was very clear - he likes being in his cot. If he’s close to me it has to be with nipple in mouth, if not no deal. The cot has never been a problem really, which I almost took personally when he was younger.
No dummy - looks at me like I’m an idiot or gnaws at one like he does everything else.
Just starting solids, so far not making a blind bit of difference!

OP posts:
BecauseReasons · 09/03/2020 22:32

I have no idea if this works, but I once saw advice to fill a glove with sand, glue gun it shut and use it in place of your hand on their stomach. Worth a go?

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