New Born constant feeding

[Mumtoanimals]

Hello,

I had my little one on 02/03 and since then have not had more than 3 hours sleep. I'm exhausted. The issue is the boy seens to need to be on a nipple. He literally goes left boob, right boob, left boob, right boob... its constant. He has had normal nappies so i know he is eating.. but i cannot do this.. i had a 3rd degree tear and need to lie down and i physically cannot. I need a shower, i cannot remember the last time i used the toilet and i still havent unpacked from the hospital.

Is this constant need for a nipple normal at this age? Since midnight to 3am he has feed on me 13 times. I thought you he should break for an hour or two?

Please help. I'm at my wits end.

Are you on your own? They do feed a lot early on but often they will just want to be close to you but then the smell of milk means they want to feed again. If you do have another adult there then ask them to take baby so you can get some sleep or a shower or unpack (obviously not all at once as baby does need regular feeds). You need to get some rest and breathing space to though or you'll end up unhappy, stressed overwhelmed and that's no good for anyone. If there's nobody else to have the baby then could you try a swaddle? Sometimes babies wake themselves by accident and then want feeding back to sleep, but if they are swaddled can be more settled

This is entirely normal. Baby is doing the right thing, it won’t last forever, they are just getting your supply going (and also seeking comfort too). The first 3 weeks are really hard, the next 3 are a bit easier and after 6-8 it will be completely different.

Have you tried feeding lying down? You need to make the bed safe in case you fall asleep but it will save your sanity.

Hi, congratulations on your new arrival. Sorry to hear you are sleep deprived, this is exactly how it is for us except we are bottle feeding. And this is normal for a newborn.
Our second daughter was born 27/02 so just over a week old now. In the first night we came home she fed constantly and for the next 3 days it was every hour, and sometimes less than an hour, after that at night. We were keeping a record to make sure she was eating enough and looking back I can see that some nights from 9pm to 4am she was up nearly every 45mins. It was exhausting. My partner and I were staggering about as if hungover during the day chasing after our toddler. But during the day our youngest was sleeping for 3 hours at a time between feeds, why cant you do this at night!
We didnt find a solution other than to go with it and feed her on demand and as we also struggled (and still are) to get her in the noses basket since coming home we have been doing on/off co-sleeping as well.
Last night though after 3 hours of hell from 7pm to 10pm she slept till 3am, fed, then slept till 8am. Hooray.
Tonight we had the same witching hour from about 6pm to 10pm where she fed alot, cried, fussed, wouldn't relax then finally she fell asleep on me and we put her in the moses and she slept till 2.30am.
Shes still asleep now so hoping she will go through the rest of the night now, but now I cant sleep so was sterilising bottles and am now listening to the white noise.
Some things we tried to settle her from day 1 are stick to a routine, for us that's 7pm bed, any feed after this is a "night feed", so dark ish room, quiet, no playing, cuddles but minimal talking, back in moses basket as soon as settled.
White noise thing on a speaker, heartbeat/wind seems to help.
Dummy, she sometimes starts to stir and begins to wake herself but I found if I catch it early enough she will take a dummy in her sleep and settle.
Co-sleeping, told by the hospiral/midwife no no no but to be honest the only reason my partner and I have had ANY sleep this week is thanks to co sleeping. It has often been the only way to settle her. Just make sure you read about how to do it with minimal risk. We were very worried about co sleeping with our first but this time around we are a bit more relaxed and so tired that we were ready to try anything. Plus there were a few times where we literally fell asleep whilst feeding her due to exhaustion and that felt scary/unsafe.
So good luck I hope you find something that works for you. No sleep is the worst, but dont worry this wont be forever.

My baby did this and it was torturously painful. Clusterfeeding to get your milk to come in and the supply up. On the second day she fed for literally 9 hours straight, I was crying from the pain, eventually a midwife made my partner take her to the family lounge so she was away from me and couldn't smell my milk. The first two weeks of breastfeeding were hell, then it got easier.
Hoping things calm down for you and your bub soon.

Forgot to add, we've been swaddling for 2 days now instead of sleep/gro bag and she likes it and seems to settle better although she prefers not to have both arms swaddled.

Have you had a go feeding lying in bed? I found it really helpful

Aw OP I feel you!!! On day 2 after having a c-section my LO insisted on feeding constantly from 11pm to 6am - infact she only stopped when the midwife suggested taking her and giving her a bottle to fill her up so I could get some sleep before breakfast came round at 7am. It didn't affect my supply but it did give me a break because I was so exhausted and I couldn't cope anymore. Up until that point the midwife had suggested lying on my side to feed her - like someone else suggested making a safe space because I couldn't stay awake and I was terrified of smothering my LO! It was agony to lie on my side but it did mean I could dose on and off.

It will be ok I promise. If you have someone else to help ask them to take the baby when they are not feeding so you can sleep.

Hi,

It does get better, even at one month you should feel different.
Have you looked at expressing to give yourself a break? Someone else can feed then.

Personally I combi fed from the start due to unwell mama and tongue tied baby. Still do it now at 6 weeks. It hasn't impacted on my supply and it was essential for us. We do 2/3 bottles a day and bf the rest.

You also need to shower and look after your wound. The last thing you want is an infection. Put baby down safely and shower, even if they are crying. It is important.

Feed lying down as yes you need to lie down to support your tear. Use a nursing pillow too to take any weight and pressure off you when you are sitting.

Good Luck xx

I'm at my witsend now. He slept from about 9.30 to midnight and since then to now (3am) he just wont settle and i cannot work out why. Every time he falls asleep after a boob i think finally a break.. but within minutes he wants more. Each time i have to try move/reposition its hurting my stitches and back. I cannot stop crying and the bf doesn't seem to understand??

Oh Sweetie, it is really really tough.

It is also really really normal. Including the crying. But that doesn’t help when you’re going through this hell.

Reyour back - can you get a mountain of pillows? Roll up spare blankets? They will give you support you need.

Your boyfriend is probably feeling overwhelmed/tired/whatever... but tough, your needs are much more than his. You need to be really clear what you need from him if he’s not stepping up to the mark.

I promise it won’t always feel like this. But this feeding for hours on end overnight is absolutely normal (and absolutely unfair given what your body has just been through). You think it can’t possibly fit in their tummies. it does. Has your milk come in yet?

I had this with my tongue tie baby as the latch wasn't right and so he needed to feed constantly to get anything near the right amount of milk. We had it snipped at 3 weeks and the latch improved instantly - I could feel it - and then he was able to feed efficiently and fall asleep for longer periods.
There is the argument that that would have happened anyway around the 1 month mark but tbh, I don't mind it cost me £150 even if that was the case as like you, I was at my wits end and I had the cash in the bank.

We also did cranial osteopathy and again, can't be 100% sure it worked but it made me feel better that I was taking action for my son, just in case he was suffering with tension/headaches. That was another £100 for two sessions!

My son is 3 months now and it's much easier.

Also you could try a dummy, if you wanted. My son sucks my finger - we are still trying to get him to take a dummy - and that helps me have a break from nipple sucking!

Have you got a breastfeeding clinic near you to go for advice?

Express milk and give to partner to feed so u can rest.

I’m sorry but it’s totally normal. Mine was every two hours for 2 months. They are tiny, their stomachs are tiny, they need to eat frequently.

Every 2 hours is not the same as what the op is describing @puds11. That is more manageable than constant feeding for hours and hours.

Sorry if this is obvious or ridiculous but could it be wind that is leaving him unsettled?

Sorry OP this is normal- it is cluster feeding. Your bf needs to help though. When you are at your wit's end, he needs to take the baby and cuddle, rock, pat, whatever for as long as possible while you go to the loo, have a quick shower, sleep or eat! You may find he has much more success settling the baby as he won't smell of or be associated with milk. This won't last forever but it is hard. Sympathise totally with the tear - i had a 3dt and it hurt like buggery, way more than my subsequent c section. Keep topped up on painkillers and watch out for any signs of infection. Make sure you get plenty of rest during the day too - your bf should be looking after you, bringing you snacks and plenty of water and doing all the housework til you are back in your feet.

First of all, congratulations! I’m sorry you’re having a difficult time.

Very regular, cluster feeding in the early days is normal, but “constant” feeding could potentially indicate that there’s an issue with baby’s latch/milk transfer which means that he has to feed very frequently to get enough milk.

Ask your midwife to do a breastfeeding assessment, or go to a breastfeeding support group if you have one in your area. They will be able to look at baby’s position and attachment and discuss normal newborn feeding behaviours.

Alternatively, you can call the National Breastfeeding Helpline on 0300 100 0212.

Breastfeeding is a steep learning curve for both of you, but please seek support rather than just accepting that it has to be difficult.

Thank you guys. I'm glad to know I'm not alone. I have a feeling there might be a tounge tie issue as he constantly has it out and i have googled it endlessly. I'm awaiting to see the health visitor/midwife next to speak about it. He doesn't do the constant need for feeding during the day, only at night. He sleeps for 2 hours at a time during the day. I'm going to try go to a breastfeeding group next week and just speak to someone and hopefully get some advice. My other half feels helpless and hates it as i just cry the whole night and have done since Tuesday. I feel for him and don't blame him for how he acts. Its tough on him. He does allow me now in the morning, shower, take my medication and eat before he gets ready- even if its just straight into clean undies before baby wants food again. Thank you all. I'm glad there is support out there.

It is very TOUGH having a new baby. Truth be told, it's an absolutely SHIT time. It will get better though.
There is also the acceptance of being trapped by the baby. It's a scary shock suddenly not having access to your own life! What you are experiencing is normal. It's also normal to hate your baby in the middle of the night .
Take heart, it will settle down. Just accept it and work with the baby. Stay in your dressing gown all day if you need to. Eat takeaways or pasta, pasta pasta and sauce.
Get your BF to make you sandwiches before he goes to work and put it in the fridge for your lunch. He can help by doing all the laundry and the dishwasher and keep the fridge stocked. Something like a big cake is very handy too, if you like fruitcake for example so you can grab a wedge of that with one hand during the day. Make your tea in a travel cup or get BF to make a flask of tea for during the day.
As soon as the baby sleeps you get on the sofa and go to sleep too.

Keep going OP, you’re doing brilliantly. It’s so hard in the first few days and weeks, especially when breastfeeding, but trust me when I say it does get easier. Just get all the help you can in the meantime and try and get a few naps in during the day when the baby sleeps to help with the exhaustion. Cluster feeding during the night for a newborn is normal but I know that hearing that doesnt make it any easier! But it WILL pass and get better.

Been for his day 5 check today and baby is very happy and healthy, he only has lost 2% of his birth weight, so the constant feeding isnt because im doing it wrong but because hes hungry i guess. I hope he settles down soon and works out a sleep pattern, even if its just a couple of hours at a time!

You're doing great! That's such a tiny amount to lose, you're providing everything your baby needs. Try feeding lying down, I still do it now, baby is 8 months old, it's so relaxing.