12 week old sleep query

[Fivebyfive2]

Hi all! Originally posted in Parenting, but hoping for more replies here.

First time mum having a bit of a struggle right now and I just need some reassuring and maybe even advice /tips on how to be better?!

Ds is 12 weeks (8 weeks corrected) He is mostly breastfed, but does have bottles of formula between about 8pm to 1am (give or take an hour) so I get a bit of a break. Dh gives the bottles while I sleep, but I often get up to help settle him etc if needed. We use sma comfort and give infacol before each feed (including the breastfeeds) because he's a very windy boy!

Reason I'm posting is that we're still having many a night where he wakes every hour for a feed in the middle of the night. Plus in between he is grunting and fidgeting, to the point where I'm never sure he's even properly asleep?! Between this and him beginning to fight sleep for naps in the day, so that I need to rock him etc while he cries before conking out, I'm just so exhausted with it all ☹️

We have nights where he does 3 to 4 hours of peaceful sleep, but it's so random I can't see a pattern, so although I'd like to recreate the circumstances where this happens to try and make it a regular occurance, we cannot seem to crack it at the moment.

Is this normal or are we doing something wrong?! The daytime isn't so bad, I think because he is starting to pay more attention to things, (we get full on smiling and interaction now, it's amazing!) he gets overtired, but it doesn't take too long to soothe him. It's the night time that's doing me in, between feeding, winding and checking him when he's wriggling /grunting etc, it's impossible to get proper rest some nights and I'm also worried he isn't getting proper sleep during this time??

Sorry for the long post! Xx

My LO was like this at 8 weeks. I think it is the hardest age and in a few weeks you should see an improvement. Do you swaddle? If not this should help with the fidgeting at night. Mine just grew out of the grunting as his digestive system improved with age. I think you are probably also going through a growth spurt, hence the hourly feeds.

I’m not sure how much practical advice I can offer, because my son was such a shocking sleeper it’s all now kind of a blur. He had silent reflux and it was awful!

Some of the things I found helped was that if we did a bedtime routine it helped him understand it was now nighttime (or realistically maybe it didn’t, but it gave ME a routine to follow). I’d bath him, clean nappy and pyjamas, bedtime feed and then a story to settle him down, before going into his bassinet. Our routine guaranteed a sleep from about 7:30 to 10:00. The rest of the night was more unpredictable.

He realistically doesn’t need fed every hour, so he’s probably wanting comfort and cuddles from you instead. It might also be a good idea not to check on him if he’s just wriggling / grunting because that might wake him all the way up if he was just stirring.

Hopefully my reply at least bumps this so someone else can help.
You’re in a tough stage at the moment - EVERYTHING is so much more difficult when you’re sleep deprived. I promise you it does get easier, but that doesn’t help you right now!