I tried controlled crying and now I feel bad 😭

[Katie17isabella]

So I have a nine month old girl. I'm a first time mum 🤭.
She's absolutely perfect during the day, naps well, she's walking and trying to talk and doing everything she should be.
From birth till around five months she slept every night, all night (I knew it was too good to be true!)
At around five months she started waking up once or twice a night and it just kept getting worse- last week she was waking up constantly and would just cry every time I put her down.
I had tried everything, we tried self soothing, tried her sleeping in my bed, tried feeding her back to sleep (which made things so much worse), tried just giving her water. Everything!
It was getting to the point where I wasn't sleeping all night because I'd dread going to sleep and having to get up again.
So I did some research and decided to try controlled crying. I did it for the first time tonight and it took around 45 minutes. But she hasn't woken up since (which has been about two hours) where as normally she would have woken up at least three times.
So I feel good about that bit but I can't help but feel guilty that she cried her self to sleep basically. I kept going in every 2-5 mins and reassuring her, gave her a drink and laid her back down but she cried a lot (which I expected).
Basically I just feel awful and just need some reassurance that I'm not the worse mum and I am doing this for the best.

I'm sorry this post is so long, I just needed to talk to other mums that have done the same thing and their babies are okay!!

Thank you to anyone that makes it through this post without falling asleep ♥️

Don't beat yourself up! We've done it twice because we were desperate and had two awful sleepers. My five year old is a great sleeper and has been since we did it, yet to see if the one year old will be as we still have to resort back some nights but generally everyone I know who has had to do it for their sanity has said their children are now better sleepers. It's not ideal but sometimes you have to do it for the sake of the rest of the family and your sanity

You are a great mum. I did controlled crying (going in and out of the room) as my 10 month old daughter had lost the ability to self-settled and was taking ages to go to sleep/ missing naps etc.

It was also causing me to feel really anxious about nap and bedtimes.

She, like your DC, cried for about 40 mins in total the first night before failing asleep exhausted. I cried too and felt awful.

Over the next week or so, this quickly went down to 5 mins or so of crying which I still found hard, but bearable.

After 10 days, she would just roll over and go straight to sleep.

It has been such a positive gamechanger for us - my daughter sleeps better, I’m less stressed, and she is still my happy, bright baby. Sometimes you have to do what’s best for you all as a family.

I found doing a task, like folding washing etc, during the tears helped rather than just sitting there listening to my daughter crying, as even a few minutes felt like forever.

I know some people are anti any kind of sleep training but it has worked wonders for us. Hang in there! x

This is brilliant to know. Thank you so much

Aww bless you.

Controlled crying where by you keep reasuring them they are safe,you are there, they are not alone... is different from just shutting the door and abandoning them. Most of the tears were probably frustration that she wasnt getting her own way... rather than her feeling neglected. Big deep breaths, i promis her little face will still light up each morning when she sees you x

Sleep is essential, for baby and you. Keep going,you are doing great xx